My Only One
One More Try
Ryan's point of view
"Ryan, move," she told me.
"No," I said standing in front of the door. "You're not going anywhere until we have this figured out. You're not running from this or me."
"What's there to figure out?"
"A lot, if we don't, every time we see each other it will be like last night and I don't want that. I know you don't either."
"Well no..."
"Exactly, so let's talk." Jenna sat against the headboard while I sat at the foot of the bed.
"When you left the first time," she started, "it really hurt. I don't want to feel that way ever again."
"I didn't do it intentionally. I don't want to say that I didn't have a choice because I did an-"
"And you chose your band first. I understand."
"No, it's not that I put my band first."
"Then what was it?" She had me there.
"I just figured it would have been easier for us."
"Ryan, I had my own things to do. It wouldn't have bothered me."
"Why would it bother you now then?"
"Because what I have to do now actually matters and I want to settle down and maybe start a family. I can’t do that when you’re not here."
I sighed. It's almost no use. She's making me frustrated. "Maybe we shouldn't start a relationship then."
She looked across the bed at me.
"All you're doing is making excuses as to why we shouldn't be together. If you don't want to be together for whatever reason then that’s fine with me. Just know this though. I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know. I love my job too though. I'm going to do this for as long as I can. I would never give this up for anything. I just wish you would realize that. So whenever you're ready to go, I'm ready."
* * *
"Where's Jenna?" LP asked me as I sat at the table.
"I took her home."
"Why? You should have brought her with."
"She doesn't want to be with me." No one said anything for a moment.
"I'll see you guys later," Sarah said and left the table. I knew she was going to go talk to her. Maybe she'll talk some sense into her.
* * *
I sighed as I took an oatmeal raisin granola bar out of its box and put the box back. Then there was a knock at the door.
"I got it!" Melissa yelled. After a moment, Sarah was by my side.
"Can we talk for a minute...alone?"
"Sure," I said and we went down the hall to my room.
"So, Ryan told us you don't want to be with him."
"It's not that I don't, I don't want a relationship with his voicemail or his email or his text messaging."
"That's how it's always going to be for as long as he does this. Nothing will ever change that. Ryan loves you. He really does. When we moved from Florida, I never heard the end of it. He never once stopped talking about how much he hated to be away from you. He's glad you're out here. He really is. Ryan wants a relationship with you again. He told me so."
"I don't know. I really don't. I've never really been by myself. Right after Ryan there was Blake. Maybe I just need a minute to myself. Yeah. That's it. I really don't know what I want right now. I know for a fact that right now, I won't be able to make it through another Ryan Key heartbreak."
"Maybe there won't be another Ryan Key heartbreak. Seriously, go with him. It'll make him really happy and you'll see how much he loves doing what he does. If you're not gonna go with him, at least give him another chance."
"I'll think about it," I suggested.
"Good enough for me." Sarah shrugged her shoulders.
* * *
"That's it?" I asked Melissa.
"Now," she said closing a cabinet door. “We're done. We are now officially moved in!"
"Woo hoo!" I threw my arms up in victory. Then my cell phone started ringing. It was Ryan. "I'm gonna take this in the other room."
"Are you busy right now?"
"No...Why?"
"I uh, I'm here right now, in the parking lot. I just wanted to talk to you face to face."
"Okay. I'll be down in a second." We both hung up and I grabbed a black hoody and threw it on. I told Melissa I'd be right back and went outside where Ryan was waiting.
"I didn't mean to be so harsh last night," Ryan said.
"It's okay. You were right. I was making excuses."
"What are you scared of?"
"I'm not scared of anything, maybe just a little. It's just that, I had you and then I lost you. Then I had Blake and then he left. I don’t want to lose you again. I don't want to share you with anyone."
Ryan smirked. "Well, you'll have me to yourself for a month and then if you come with me, then you'll have to share but you'll still have me." He put his hands in the pockets of his red Georgia Bulldogs hoody.
"I honestly don't know if I can go though. I have my interview and I gotta work to help Melissa with rent..."
"I'll take care of it."
"No you won't."
"Then this would be a bad time to tell you that I already took care of it then, huh?"
"What?"
"Sorry." He smirked again and shrugged his shoulders. "I really want you to come with."
"All right, fine. I'll go."
"Okay. That's pretty awesome. Now I just gotta work on you about a relationship."
"Oh I don't know about that Mr. Key." I started to walk away from him.
"Oh I think so." He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. "You like me too much not to."
"I know and that's sad," I said and kissed him. He tightened his grip around my waist and put his forehead against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed again. Maybe everything will be all right after all.
"Ryan, move," she told me.
"No," I said standing in front of the door. "You're not going anywhere until we have this figured out. You're not running from this or me."
"What's there to figure out?"
"A lot, if we don't, every time we see each other it will be like last night and I don't want that. I know you don't either."
"Well no..."
"Exactly, so let's talk." Jenna sat against the headboard while I sat at the foot of the bed.
"When you left the first time," she started, "it really hurt. I don't want to feel that way ever again."
"I didn't do it intentionally. I don't want to say that I didn't have a choice because I did an-"
"And you chose your band first. I understand."
"No, it's not that I put my band first."
"Then what was it?" She had me there.
"I just figured it would have been easier for us."
"Ryan, I had my own things to do. It wouldn't have bothered me."
"Why would it bother you now then?"
"Because what I have to do now actually matters and I want to settle down and maybe start a family. I can’t do that when you’re not here."
I sighed. It's almost no use. She's making me frustrated. "Maybe we shouldn't start a relationship then."
She looked across the bed at me.
"All you're doing is making excuses as to why we shouldn't be together. If you don't want to be together for whatever reason then that’s fine with me. Just know this though. I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know. I love my job too though. I'm going to do this for as long as I can. I would never give this up for anything. I just wish you would realize that. So whenever you're ready to go, I'm ready."
* * *
"Where's Jenna?" LP asked me as I sat at the table.
"I took her home."
"Why? You should have brought her with."
"She doesn't want to be with me." No one said anything for a moment.
"I'll see you guys later," Sarah said and left the table. I knew she was going to go talk to her. Maybe she'll talk some sense into her.
* * *
I sighed as I took an oatmeal raisin granola bar out of its box and put the box back. Then there was a knock at the door.
"I got it!" Melissa yelled. After a moment, Sarah was by my side.
"Can we talk for a minute...alone?"
"Sure," I said and we went down the hall to my room.
"So, Ryan told us you don't want to be with him."
"It's not that I don't, I don't want a relationship with his voicemail or his email or his text messaging."
"That's how it's always going to be for as long as he does this. Nothing will ever change that. Ryan loves you. He really does. When we moved from Florida, I never heard the end of it. He never once stopped talking about how much he hated to be away from you. He's glad you're out here. He really is. Ryan wants a relationship with you again. He told me so."
"I don't know. I really don't. I've never really been by myself. Right after Ryan there was Blake. Maybe I just need a minute to myself. Yeah. That's it. I really don't know what I want right now. I know for a fact that right now, I won't be able to make it through another Ryan Key heartbreak."
"Maybe there won't be another Ryan Key heartbreak. Seriously, go with him. It'll make him really happy and you'll see how much he loves doing what he does. If you're not gonna go with him, at least give him another chance."
"I'll think about it," I suggested.
"Good enough for me." Sarah shrugged her shoulders.
* * *
"That's it?" I asked Melissa.
"Now," she said closing a cabinet door. “We're done. We are now officially moved in!"
"Woo hoo!" I threw my arms up in victory. Then my cell phone started ringing. It was Ryan. "I'm gonna take this in the other room."
"Are you busy right now?"
"No...Why?"
"I uh, I'm here right now, in the parking lot. I just wanted to talk to you face to face."
"Okay. I'll be down in a second." We both hung up and I grabbed a black hoody and threw it on. I told Melissa I'd be right back and went outside where Ryan was waiting.
"I didn't mean to be so harsh last night," Ryan said.
"It's okay. You were right. I was making excuses."
"What are you scared of?"
"I'm not scared of anything, maybe just a little. It's just that, I had you and then I lost you. Then I had Blake and then he left. I don’t want to lose you again. I don't want to share you with anyone."
Ryan smirked. "Well, you'll have me to yourself for a month and then if you come with me, then you'll have to share but you'll still have me." He put his hands in the pockets of his red Georgia Bulldogs hoody.
"I honestly don't know if I can go though. I have my interview and I gotta work to help Melissa with rent..."
"I'll take care of it."
"No you won't."
"Then this would be a bad time to tell you that I already took care of it then, huh?"
"What?"
"Sorry." He smirked again and shrugged his shoulders. "I really want you to come with."
"All right, fine. I'll go."
"Okay. That's pretty awesome. Now I just gotta work on you about a relationship."
"Oh I don't know about that Mr. Key." I started to walk away from him.
"Oh I think so." He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. "You like me too much not to."
"I know and that's sad," I said and kissed him. He tightened his grip around my waist and put his forehead against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed again. Maybe everything will be all right after all.