Last Flight Home

It had been three days since I last talked to Alex and the day that the band was leaving for the tour. I really didn’t want to talk to him or see him even though he tried his best to get me to. He called at least every fifteen minutes when I left the restaurant wanting to know where I was but of course I didn’t answer. I just listened to about twenty different voicemails. The calling has died down to about an hour but we both know that I’m not going to answer it no matter how long he spaced between calls. At one point, he even had the audacity to come to my dorm and try to talk to me. Lucky, Claire, one of my roommates was there to kick him out. I wasn’t in the mood for him to bitch at me about not coming on tour and how he wouldn’t be able to stand it or that I would be sucked into the bottomless pit without him… but it was the truth. Part of me was lost when I moved and it was just going to happen again. Was I able to put myself through that?

Could I be overreacting about the whole situation? Maybe I was thinking about it too much. How could he expect me to drop my entire future for him? He was being so selfish…or was I?

Now that I thought about it, we couldn’t keep a long distance relationship afloat. Plus, he was going to have girls all over him and knowing Alex, he gives into temptation. Was I really saying this? Alex and I would not stay together? I was appalled at my way of thinking but how else was I supposed to think?

I stayed in my dorm for the span of those three days. I got calls from the guys but I needed time alone. Mostly I just took photos of my room and listened to music that didn’t include All Time Low. No matter how much I tried to avoid him, my thoughts came running back to him.

My phone buzzed and I saw that it was Jack. I just let it ring and I pulled out my MacBook to focus on something else.

After a few moments of ringing, I saw that Jack left me a message. No telling how that would turn out…

I put the phone to my ear and listened to the message that Jack left. His dorky voice sounded throughout my ear.

“Blake Evans,” Jack demanded, “Get your bootylicious ass over here and come see your boys. We need your lovin’ before we head off for the tour. Don’t make me come over there and drag you over here. Jack isn’t in the mood for that. I am in the mood to see our girl. I’ll keep on calling you if you don’t answer your fucking phone. I need to hear your lovely voice. Call me.”

His voice cut off and I slightly chuckled at his pure idiocy but cuteness. I guess I owed it to him to call back. I took a deep breath in and called him.

“Blakeeeeeeeeeeee,” he answered, “Get over here.”
“I’m not coming,” I denied him, “I can’t.”

“Grow some fucking balls and come on,” he chuckled.

“I can’t,” I repeated as I rubbed my forehead, “You guys come over here. The three of you and that includes: you, Rian, and Zack. That’s it.”

“Blake do you really expect me to believe that you are not going to say goodbye to Alex,” Jack responded and I could tell that he had that look on his face of “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Yes and you will believe it,” I told him, “Now I want to say goodbye to you guys so can you please just do this for me and get over here.”

“You’re a feisty woman sometimes,” Jack smirked, “I think I like it.”

“Shut up and get your ass in the car and drive over here,” I continued getting a little impatient.

“See ya in a few,” Jack gave in before he and I hung up the phone at the same time.

I waited patiently for the guys to arrive and in about twenty minutes there was a knock on my door.

“Who is it?” I called out before answering it.

“Your pimps now open the door and give us some lovin,” the voice yelled. You could automatically tell that it was Jack.

I rolled my eyes and opened the door to see Jack, Zack, and Rian all standing there.

“Hey guys,” I smiled. Just seeing them made me light up. The fact that they were leaving left me with a hole in my heart.

They all immediately jumped into my room and gave me a big group hug. I giggled at them and how adorable they were.

“Blake,” Rian pouted as he pulled away from the hug, “Is there any way that we could get you to come on tour?”

“No,” I choked out as I could feel the tears build up and my throat burning. “I have to stay here and go to school. I can’t leave that behind.”

“You left Alex behind,” Jack butted in, “I’m sure you can leave college behind for now.”

“I have a choice this time,” I went on, “When I left Maryland, my mother dragged me to leave. I didn’t have a choice. Now that I do have a choice, I’m going to do what’s best for me and Alex.”

“How is it what’s best for you and Alex,” Zack wondered with a curious expression on his face.

“Alex has more things to worry about than me on tour,” I grimaced, “He needs to focus on what he has worked so hard for. He needs to have the dedication that he’s had for so long and not rely on me. He didn’t rely on me for four years and look where he and you guys are. Getting a record deal and touring. Now that I’m here, I don’t want to mess things up. Plus, Alex is going to have temptation on tour from other girls and I don’t want to hold him back or get hurt. Also, I have school. I have said this so many times and I can’t drop what I’ve always wanted to do. I’m not going to throw it away.”

“First of all,” Rian replied, “Alex wants you there so that he can focus on the tour. He needs your support. He may be strong and independent, but he needs you in his life now more than ever. Now that you’re back, he’s able to have that guidance that he always lacked.”

“Second,” Zack added, “You can always go back to school. Don’t worry about anything. You can take a year off. You know what’s best for you and that is to be with Alex. We all see it in your eyes and you can’t deny it.”

“Third,” Jack finished, “With you there, he’s not going to give into girls. He’s got the best girl that he could ask for and he wouldn’t mess that up. Plus, I keep that asshole in check.”

“Lastly,” Rian began to admit, “He loves you and you love him. We all know that. You both may not be able to help it but those feelings are there and they aren’t going to disappear. You can’t deny it.”

I really didn’t know what to say. They did have a point but…“Yes I do love him and my heart stops when I think of being away from him again… I’m so grateful that you guys are here for me but for some reason my heart tells me that I should stay.”

They were silent. I’m sure you could hear the crickets outside.

“Okay,” Rian sighed, “We respect your decision.” They each gave me a hug and kissed my cheeks.

“Well I guess that this is goodbye,” Jack frowned, “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you guys too,” I croaked with tears now running down my cheeks. We all looked at each other and gave each other another group hug.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” I whispered.

They nodded their heads and went to the doorway.

“We love you Blake,” Jack smiled coyly.

“I love you guys too,” I let out trying to keep some control over myself.

They all smiled at me one last time and finally left the comfort of my eyes. I turned away and put my hands on my face. Hoping that there could be some way to go with them but for some reason, my heart told me to let go and move on. Thus, I shut the door hoping that it would cut off my feelings of misery.

Instantly, there was another knock on my door and I swung around hoping that it was the guys again. I didn’t even bother to ask who it was. I pulled the door open and my mind went blank.

“Hi,” he said with his hair swooping across his face and his hands once again shoved into his pockets. Déjà vu.

“No,” I cried out as the tears fell harder, “Get out. You can’t do this. Leave. I can’t do this.” I barely knew what I was saying. Anything and everything poured out.

“Blake,” he bit his cherry blossom lips, “We need to talk and this is the last chance.”

“I don’t want to talk,” I lied right through my teeth. “You need to just go- now.” I tried to push the door closed but the force of his hands stopped me in my tracks. I started to fumble backwards as he came toward me. I couldn’t find myself to tell him to leave. My brain froze up.

“Blake,” he breathed in, “Don’t do this. You and I both know what we are feeling and this isn’t the way to go.”

I remained frozen.

“I want to stay with you for as long as I can and I can’t imagine me going through that pain again,” he tried to hold back the emotion in his eyes but it just poured out. “I need you. I love you. Please just stay with me forever.”

I couldn’t put what I was feeling into words. My mouth hung open waiting for it to spill out but my heart had a different answer than my brain now.

“I love you too Alex,” I confessed with the pain pouring out of me.

I leaped into his arms and crashed my lips against his with the most passion that I have ever felt. I moved my lips with his like we were dancing with one another- completely fluid and natural. Alex lifted me up, walked over to my bed, and we both lied down with each other. Alex pressed his body onto mine while gracing his lips across my collarbone. I nibbled slightly on his neck and ear where I found his spots that made him moan. I tossed his hair around my fingers to have closer contact with him then ever before. Alex slipped his hands up the back of my shirt and gently pulled it off. I did the same to his shirt and finally managed to work his jeans off. Alex kissed all parts of my skin before ripping off my bra. I felt so open and exposed but I didn’t care. I loved him and he loved me. He continued to kiss me graciously and until everything was let go…