Running on Adrenaline

I hated the fact that they just didn’t show. I stomped my way back up the stairs to my room. When I reached my room, i found Heidi reading the card from my mum. In my pissed off state I stomped over to her, snatching the card away.

“It’s addressed to me, therefore you don’t read it” I said simply.

She scoffed “It’s nothin’ interesting anyway”

I couldn’t deal with her presence at the moment, so i walked down the hall to Hannah’s room to find the whole band, including Brian just sitting on her bed laughing.

“Guys?” i spoke loudly over their conversation.

“FUCK” Hannah exclaimed “I told yeh guys to keep lookout, now the surprise is ruined” she mumbled.

This made me smile, a surprise party?

“Can yeh do us a favour?” Jeremy asked “Walk out, and walk in like this didn’t happen” he smiled.
I rolled my eyes laughing; I exited, closed the door and re entered looking surprised. And i genuinely was. Hannah was holding a cake with candles lit, looking really nervous. They all started singing, badly I might add.

“Hurry up” Hannah said nervously “Make a wish” they all leaned in.

My head fluttered around for wishes to make, in the end all i couldn’t offer anything up. So i just blew the candles.

“So, the plan is, yeh goin’ to a party tonight” Hannah then pulled me towards her pile of clothing holding shirts up against me.

“SHIT” I exclaimed “I forgot to call my mum” i said making my way to the door. They all laughed and i flipped them off.

I walked hurriedly towards front desk, and the woman there led me to the same room. The phone rang a couple of times and she finally picked up.

“Hello Amelia” she knew already, i smiled, missing her a little.

“Thanks for the package”

“Not a problem love”

The conversation consisted of nothing interesting, I was just glad to hear her happy and be happy talking to her.

“I miss home” I finally admitted

“I can’t believe you’ve already been there 5 months” I couldn’t believe it either; it certainly didn’t feel like it.

We said our goodbyes, and again she praised me on changing so much over here. A pang of guilt flashed across my mind, as i held the side which the tattoo lay. The guilt didn’t stop me from going to the party. It was my birthday, and i was going to party hardy.

We all walked to into the party, Brian beside me, I held tightly onto his hand, he wasn’t slipping away this time. When we entered, i didn’t take the first opportunity to drink, i didn’t want a relapse of last time. I was then hit by the stares of people; i was guessing they didn’t want to forget last time. I rolled my eyes and led Brian to the kitchen, handing him a drink. He reluctantly took it and sipped slowly, I followed his example.

The crowd was particularly large this time and it managed to wedge between Brian and I, I peered over everyone to spot a flash of him, but I lost him completely. I just sat on the couch and sipped at my drink, thinking how boring it was to be sober.

“Yeh know, lying about Oli was pretty pathetic” Bonnie said, standing over me with a drink in hand.
“I never said he hit me” i tried to stand, but she pushed me back down. Why was everyone here so fucking physical?

“Yeh said it, right in front of meh”

“It’s called sarcasm. Look i need to go puke” I lied “Want me to puke on your pretty little dress there?” she looked horrified and backed off.

“She’s at it again” I heard someone say. I walked into a little room down a hallway and entered it, stupidly without checking. The smell filled my lungs and brought on a small cough, i covered my mouth and turned to a guy, sitting on a chair, rolling some sort of drug infront of him.
I tried to leave but he stopped me with some words.

“Tough night?” he calmly asked.

“The worst” I answered back wearily.

“Spliff?”

“Nup”

“Sniff”

“You think if i didn’t smoke, id want to sniff?” i reasoned. He laughed.

“I’m not gonna bite love, just being polite”

I sighed and slumped onto the couch a few inches away from him.

“Yeh got a name?” he took a long drag.

“Amelia”

“Mines James” he offered his hand, and i shook it slowly after a few seconds.

I heard a knock at the door and he went to answer it.

“Why are they knocking?” I wondered.

He walked over slowly and managed to stump his toe on the table, trip and fall over. Letting a low groan escape from his lips as he held his foot.

“Shit” I said loudly, I walked over to him to stand by awkwardly.

The person opened the door and started laughing.

“Nice” he shouted.

“No no no, this isn’t- NO” I tried to stop the person. I sighed and closed the door. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Gimmie that” I took whatever he had in his hands and took a drag. I coughed loudly, wheezing a little, and all he could do was laugh.

“Yeh not a smoker” he walked over to the table and slid a pill towards me

I sighed “Will it take me away?”

“Far far away” he smiled.

I popped it in my mouth, it felt strange, but most importantly I was extremely distracted from whatever i knew i had to face the next day at school.

“Everyone here is so mean” I complained.

He laughed loudly “That’s why i make an extra effort to not be noticed”

This was true, i hadn’t seen him once around the school. We sat aimlessly giggling for a good 2 hours, i didn’t feel anything, I didn’t need to right now. I guess this feeling was good, all i knew was that this was better then what i would face when the pill stopped working.

The door flew open and Brian stood rubbing his shoulder, i saw Tom peer in from behind him, he sighed and walked over to me to pick me up.

“Hey” I yelled “I’m a big girl, i can walk” i said childishly. I stood; only to find my knees buckle and the weight of my body pull me down. James howled in laugher.

I gave him a small warning look, but ended up laughing myself. Everything seemed to damn funny. Brian picked me up and threw me over his shoulder; I hit his back with my fists, refusing to be carried like that, as people stared. I flipped them off and finally gave up when we exited the house.

Brians car was especially comfortable on the way home, i brought my knees up to my chin and smiled at him as he drove.

He sighed, seeming somehow disappointed him me.

“What’s wrong?” i finally asked

“I just don’t like what you did tonight” he simply shrugged.

“Sorry” i breathed “I didn’t do anything with-“

“I know, I’m talking about the stuff he gave yeh” he seemed uneasy.

“I won’t do it again” I then fixed my eyes away from him and out the front window.

He helped me the whole way back to my room. I stood at the door, fumbling with the handle and shaking my head to possibly lose the blurry vision i was suffering. Brian pulled it open slowly, checking first if Heidi was present, there was no one to be seen. He sat me on my bed and gathered my uniform for tomorrow.

“What are you doing?” I asked wearily

“You’re not sleeping by yourself tonight” he stated, he then lifted me and walked me back to his room, with me in one hand and my clothes in the other.

He sat me down on his bed and handed me one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

“Is this okay?” he asked, I just nodded, my eyes already dropping.

I managed to take my shirt off, but the jeans were proving to be a problem, he was turned away and i made sounds of struggle.

He turned to see me sitting on his bed shirtless making a face. He sighed and slipped my shirt on.

“Yeh wanna just sleep in the jeans?” i nodded and placed myself on his bed. I didn’t know what I slipped tonight, but whatever it was, it felt good and now i had to sleep it off. I felt Brian lay down next to me; i turned to see his back was facing me. I poked him on the back and he turned.

I smiled, placing my head on his chest. He put his arm around me. I only realised when i felt the immediate heat, that he was shirtless. I placed my hand on his torso and closed my eyes.