Running on Adrenaline

The week went slowly as always, class after class. Since the performance i gave, people kind of backed off and Heidi seemed to have run out of material. I felt like we were coming closer than ever to wining and that pulled me through. That was until i got the marks back from my recent English paper.

I didn’t fail, I just didn’t pass well. I knew then because the mark I had gotten was worse than the marks I use to get back home. The distractions I let take over my life were controlling my marks; I knew I had to back off of everything for a bit. But that was harder than it seemed since I saw James almost always in the hall.

“Just holler at me when you need it” he would say, patting his pocket.

I would roll my eyes every time and keep walking, ignoring the yearning for it.

Oli approached my desk at the end of the lesson and sat on it.

“Teach said you need me today” he said taking my paper off me and making a face at the mark.

“I hate to admit i do” he smiled largely and he gave me my paper back.

“Library for an hour?”

“Sure” it was funny how tolerable he was when he wasn’t dating Heidi. He’d hung out with us without any snide remarks.

“Do you have study now?” He asked.

“I don’t know, probably” i guessed, he then ushered for me to sit with him in the library now.

We walked down probably looking like we were portraying the wrong idea, because half the hallway looked at us strange until Brian came over and put his arm over my shoulders, he greeted Oli with a quick fist bump. The looks stopped and I was thankful they did. But they returned in no time when Brian had to leave for his next class. He pecked me lightly on the lips and gave me a look, then he left looking back assuring we would see each other tonight.

“Seeing Brian tonight?” Oli probed.

“Yes, yes i am” i smiled. He rolled his eyes smiling and caught a book before I dropped it.

“Thanks” I tried to grab it, but he took the rest of the books from me and carried them the rest of the way to the library.

“So when you planning to finally give him what he obviously wants?” Oli probed again.

I looked shocked and then hit him playfully “I don’t recall that being your business”

He laughed and some people turned around to spy a look at us.

“And how are you so sure we haven’t...you know”

“He asks you to his room almost everytime I see you together” He claimed.

“You are exaggerating”

“Maybe I am, but it’s still bound to happen” we sat at a table and laid the books around the table.

“Well when it happens I won’t let you know” I smiled.

“But” he pouted “I wanna know”

“Yeah, no, that’s not happening”

After a painfully long tutoring session i was quick to leave Oli with nervous thoughts. I didn’t want to believe Bryan wanted that from me.

When I walked into Bryan’s room, he looked at me smiling and put his arms out to usher me towards him on his bed. I sat beside him and he looked at me unusually as i would normally have sat on his lap.

“Why are you so wired?” he joked.

“I’m just stressed” I lied “finals are soon” I brought to his attention.

“Are you going back home after school is finished?”

I shrugged; I had honestly not thought that far ahead. He then took me in his arms and kissed my cheek with a smirk on his lips; that always got me.

I kissed him lightly on the lips and it turned into what it always did, a heated session of us grabbing at each others clothing. My shirt had come off and he bit my lip while i unbuttoned his shirt and threw it off. His back was tensed and i wrapped my hands around his neck. He laid his torso on mine slowly and hovered over me, i felt his rapid breathing and he felt mine. While tangled in each other, my fingers through his hair and his hands on my waist i knew there was no turning back.

I wasn’t sure how to feel after i woke the next morning, I wanted to feel like it was right. But the fact that I gave it away for the first time to someone I wasn’t sure about, made me regret it just a little bit. But I was never going to get it back, and I was partially happy I did it with Bryan.
I felt bad for leaving, but i knew i would avoid further gossip if i just left his room early. I safely got back to my room and grabbed a change of clothes, showered and got to the library for a study period.

I managed to duck behind rows of books, lean my head on desks and take alternate routes to avoid everyone. I didn’t know how to approach any of them, and i didn’t know why. But i knew just who i could call.

She answered after the first ring.

“What’s the drama?” she sounded tired and it was unusual for her to sound tired that time of day, but i skipped that detail and moved on.

I groaned at first and then just cut to the point “I swiped my V card”

“Well it’s about time” she sounded exhausted as she suppressed a yawn.

“Is that it?” I was surprised at her reaction.

“I have other shit to worry about right now Ame, but this does call for congratulations”

I was just silent; she made me smile just a little bit.

“So how was it you skank?”

“OI, you just congratulated me for it”

She yawned again and i sensed she wasn’t really in the mood.

“I’ll call back another day okay?” i told her, she happily agreed and hung up, leaving me to return to my last afternoon classes.

Art was the last of them for today, and i knew it was too hard to avoid anyone there, so i just walked in like normal. Jeremy spotted me and looked alert, he nudged Hannah and they both turned to me.

“Hey” I greeted.

“Feel like i haven’t seen you all day” Jeremy greeted. Hannah half smiled and went back to what she was doing.

I shrugged, with nothing to say back. I then collected my folder full of drawings and lay them out on the table. Mr A came past and only had good things to say, which was a relief, as i honestly didn’t really give them much thought, i just drew. I started another face and it was sad at how much it looked like my brother.

“Who is it?” Jeremy asked while he was washing the brushed he used in the sink near me.
I sighed “My brother” I coloured the eyes a warm brown and wished it would someow come to life. I piled them up and stuck them in the large folder that held the rest of them, but i pulled out the picture of my brother and folded it up, slipping it into my pocket.

The lesson ended and I walked straight to my room after agreeing with Jeremy and Hannah we would practice tonight. After I changed into my sweats and a singlet I walked down to the basement and on my way Oli turned up by my side.

“Question” he stated, hinting that he needed a favour.

“Shoot”

He stopped me and edged me to the side of the hallway so we wouldn’t block the traffic.

“Why do i have a feeling this isn’t gonna be a fun favour?” I groaned.

“My parents are having this thing”

“Good for them”

“Shut up for a bit you mong” he chuckled “They’re having a dinner thing, since this is my last year at school and shit, and they want me to bring a friend”

“Bring Heidi” i suggested.

He gave me a face and then shoved me lightly “You're the only decent girl I know who isn’t fallin’ all over me”

“So you want me to come?”

He smiled, glad that i got to the point before he had to.

I paused and then leaned back to let my head touch the wall behind me “Fine” i groaned.

He was pleased to say the least “Its tomorrow night by the way, after the show, and look nice”

I shook my head and shoved him hard; we finally got to the basement and everyone was ready to just get into the song.