Running on Adrenaline

Heidi was changing when I walked back into the room after taking my shower, I looked away but before I did, I saw a large scar displayed across her back, I looked back before she noticed me looking. It didn’t look like something small, it was a burn, and for one second I felt she could have been vulnerable once.

Hannah came into my room and Heidi rolled her eyes.

“You mind knockin’?” she snapped.

Hannah rolled her eyes and apologised.

“Come on, were late for English” she pretty much grabbed me and took me out of the room while I was still grabbing my books. She walked briskly and I knew instantly something was bothering her.

“Slow down, Hannah, were 5 minutes early”

“Sorry” She let go of my arm.

“What happened last night?”

She shook her head and made a face “I don’t want to think about it”

“Telling me might feel better” I suggested.

She shook her head, and went into the classroom; I looked around and just followed her in.
All I heard was how important our last few exams were going to be, I still didn’t believe I was doing my last year of school, and that I was doing it here. A huge part of me wanted to be back home to graduate with Erin and my friends, but a small but strong part of me was glad I was graduating with everyone here.

That day consisted of being told how much I needed to study and how important these exams were going to be if I wanted to get into uni and all it did was stress me out. I knew not going to Uni wasn’t an option for my parents. So that afternoon I studied in the library.

It was quite and I was surrounded by pages of notes, I didn’t have the capacity for everything being thrown at me, but I forced it and forced it. I didn’t understand what I was studying, and it seemed the only subject that posed a real problem was English. I would grasp my pencil hard and press it down on the paper, the lead would break over and over again, but the stress building in me was growing into frustration.

“Hey”

I looked behind me and my face softened a bit, Brian smiled and sat next to me.

“Hey” I finally greeted.

“The band’s waiting for you”

“Well I’m studying, so they can wait”

He was quiet “Sorry” he paused “If I said something or-“

“No, no Brian, just ignore me, I’m stressed”

“Come on” he gathered my notes and stuffed them into a note pad “You need to do something else” I groaned in response and tried to stay, but he successfully got me to move and go all the way down to the basement.

“Found her” he called.

The band looked my way, and sighed in relief, Oli was lying down and sat up to smirk at me.
“Can we go through this?”

I just nodded in response and took the mic.

I couldn’t wait to collapse in bed, but Brian unfortunately had other plans. He asked me to sleep stay the night and I couldn’t say no; due to the incredibly cute way he would put his hands in his pockets and say he missed me.

I lay on his bed and curled up on my side, I watched him as he slipped my shoes off and unbuttoned his shirt, ready to take a shower. But before he did, he lay beside me and looked at me a little worried, I leaned my forehead on his bare chest and traced patterns in his torso.

“Don’t look at me like that, go shower. I need to sleep”

He chuckled “Fine” he groaned, he then kissed me softly, the problem was I always had to have Brian, so we ended up not being able to be separated at the mouth, my shirt was unbuttoned slowly by him as he squeezed at my hips. He stopped as he hovered his body over mine.

“You need sleep” he pecked me on the lips.

I groaned knowing he was right, before he left, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
I fell asleep to the quiet sounds of a shower running.

I didn’t wake up in Brian’s arms, his back was facing me and mine his, I turned to lay my forehead between his shoulder blades, and woke him with my touch.

His back tensed and he rolled a little too far and fell off the bed. I just looked over the edge and made a face.

He laughed and sat up, leaning his chin on the bed. My nose touched his and I watched him smile.

I then glanced at the clock and felt my eyes widen.

“Shit” I mumbled. I threw my shoes on and buttoned up my shirt, I bundled my books and my blazer and the whole time Brian just watched bemused.

“I gotta go” I hurried out the room and he stopped me.

“You realise you have study first period” he reminded me. My tensed body relaxed and I dropped my books where I stood.

“You could have said something”

“But you looked so cute” he laughed.

I collapsed onto his bed and he lay beside me facing me.

“You know the stress isn’t really worth it”

I shrugged “I was sent over here for a reason and I need to prove myself”

He understood my dilemma and assured me to just try my best.

>>>>

I couldn’t believe all the notes I ended up with and I also couldn’t believe my final exams were next week. And in true bad timing so was the finale for the competition. I wasn’t even sure if we were through and this week would define it.

After a whole day of classes my notepad was full and I was once again the library, but this time I hid in one of the private booths, in fear of being found and dragged down to practice. My eyes scrolled all the notes and a hand slammed down on my desk to break me out of my focus. I jumped and shoved him forcefully.

“Shit sorry” Tom chuckled.

I shook my head and flicked through my notes.

“Stop studying already, its 8 o’clock”

I checked my watch and saw he wasn’t lying.

“I didn’t even notice”

“Come down and practice?” he proposed.

I nodded and packed my notes in perfect order, all subjects in the right place. As we walked to the basement I remembered the mood Hannah was in this morning. Before I could ask I was rudely interrupted by Heidi. My notes were scattered on the floor and in my tired, stressed state I stood up and gave her a look so piercing it wiped the smile off her face.

“Fuck with me one more time and see what happens”

She walked away, hopefully a little shaken.

“Bit much Lia” Tom commented.

“Whatever” I picked up all my notes and walked briskly to the basement.

“Oh and by the way, what happened between you and Hannah last night?” I confronted him.
“She didn’t tell you did she?” his face dropped.

“No, that’s why I’m asking you” I snapped.

He seemed worried about my angry disposition. He then shook his head and simply answered “I’ll tell you later”

When I got there, everyone was doing as I was, studying.

“Lias here” Jeremy called and they all then picked up their instruments.

I tried my hardest to be cheerful but that didn’t work too well. At least the song we wrote was one full of anger, the band seemed happy with the way I performed it.

“There’s a party at Dylan’s tonight” Hannah mentioned, all I wanted to do was sleep so I politely declined the offer; they all headed off, a little worried about me.

I wandered back to my room, slowly, and when I finally reached it, I was glad to see Heidi had retreated to that party. I changed into sweatpants and a singlet. I hated the fact that when I lay down, my head swam and swam in stressful thoughts; I would turn on one side, and then turn to the other. I couldn’t for the life of me sleep, despite my exhaustion.

So I walked down the halls, rubbing my arms as it grew chilly. I walked outside and jumped at the near sight of James.

He extended his arm and without thinking I took whatever it was in his hand and took a puff. I relaxed and sat next to him the smoke lured around us and James blew rings into the air.
“Where’ve you been?” he smiled.

I shrugged “avoiding you” I answered truthfully.

“It only takes a bad day to want to find me” he put it out and lit another one.

“Hate you”

He laughed at that.

It ended like it always did, me stumbling towards my room, hitting my shoulders on walls, and tripping over stairs. When I finally got to my bed, I fell into it and had probably the most amazing sleep of my life.