Running on Adrenaline

Until I was woken, by no one but myself. I sat up, not tired at all, but feeling thirsty and like I needed a shower.

It wasn’t dark and that alarmed me, I saw light filtering in through all of the openings in the room and I grabbed my uniform. But my clock, which read early in the morning, calmed me. Despite the early hour my body just didn’t want to relax, so I got up and got an early start to my day.

The shower was luke warm. The towel was rough against my skin. My uniform slipped on easily and I pulled my hair back into a wet tight bun, just as I tied it back Hannah came through the doors, half awake.

“Good morning” I smiled, she was startled and then realised I was up on time.

“What are you doing up?” she questioned.

“Couldn’t sleep” I shrugged. It seemed my reaction to whatever James gave me wasn’t that bad after all.

The classes I had only stressed me out more, as we got closer to our final exams, I got closer to just wanting to drop out. But that was a stupid idea, considering I was so close to being done with it all. The books surrounded me on my bed, the library was full and I had nowhere else to go. I flicked the pen back and forth between my fingers, I wrote close to 40 pages of practise essays and notes for all of my subjects. The stress built up in me every time I came across a new question I didn’t know and when I got stressed, things were never good.

I got up abruptly and paced my room to calm myself down, I knew what I had to do was run; it’s what I always did back home. I slipped my sweats on and a singlet; I pulled a big hoodie over the top and pulled on some shoes.

The outside air was crisp and my breath made patterns in front of me. I ran far into the woods surrounding the school and stopped somewhere, sitting and catching my breath. It seemed most of the stress left my body after I ran full speed away from it all, but apparently where I ran wasn’t far enough.

There Hannah was, crying lightly with her head in her knees. I didn’t know how to approach it, so I just did.

“Hannah?” I tapped her on the shoulder.

She jumped and quickly wiped her face with the sleeve of her jumper. She smiled half-heartedly to hide whatever it was she was crying about.

“Just tell me” I simply said.

“It wouldn’t make a difference”

“What wouldn’t make a difference?”

She was so quiet.

“Hannah” I reached for her hand, but she bolted right back to school. I ran fast after her, but she turned off taking a route I wasn’t familiar with.

When I got back to my room Jeremy and Tom were there already, looking worried.
“Shit, Lia where’ve you been?” they seemed worried about my short breaths.

“What did you do?” I asked Tom.

He tried to avoid eye contact with me.

“Lia, look at yourself” Jeremy referenced to my appearance as well as my bed surrounded in notes, I had to admit, I looked mad.

I ignored him and kept looking at Tom.

“He didn’t mean to hurt anyone” Jeremy tried to explain.

“Well she’s a fucking mess”

“It was a he, and he got to hospital”

“What the hell are you talking about? Hannah was out there crying her eyes out because you did something to her” I accused Tom.

His head fell into his hands and he sat on my bed, I was pretty sure I saw tears reach his eyes, but he blinked them away.

“Hannah wasn’t the one who got hurt the other night” Jeremy told me.

“It looked like she did”

“Oh my God, Lia, stop being so fucking thick, it wasn’t Hannah, we hurt someone, really badly” Tom yelled.

“Hold on, before you start yelling at me, tell me what exactly you’re talking about” I tried to sound calm.

He opened his mouth to explain, but Jeremy did for him.

“They were at a party after they left Oli’s house, and they got pretty drunk, things happen when you’re that drunk” he started.

“We were trying to help this guy out, he looked like he was gonna pass out, so Hannah and I carried him out back, but she tripped and we bumped his head and he fell into the pool”
“Shit” I mumbled.

“There was blood everywhere, and we called the ambulance and its okay because he’s in hospital, it’s okay right? I mean we didn’t kill him”

“It’s not your fault Tom; you were trying to help him” I explained.

Jeremy saw the hurt in Tom’s eyes, and so did i. Though everything ended okay, he and Hannah weren’t letting it go.

“Sorry” I finally said to Tom, he just nodded and clenched his jaw.

“I’ll go find Hannah, we’ll meet back in here and then go out” I offered, Jeremy nodded and Tom followed him out.

The first place I went was Hannah’s room, and to my surprise she was in there, alone and wrapped up in bed, sniffling and wiping her tears with the sleeve of her jumper.

I plopped next to her, landing on her bed, which made her crack a little smile. I faced her and then hugged her, I felt her face tense up and more tears fall at the comfort of a friend.

We both lay on our backs, and I spoke to break the silence.

“You know it’s not your fault right?”

“Yeah yeah” she retorted.

“I’m serious” I sat up and grabbed some tissues from her bedside table, handing them to her.

“You were helping him, and something went wrong, things go wrong, people fuck up, but he’s still alive”

She shrugged “I just can’t get the image out of my head”

I, of all people knew of haunting images, and I knew how vivid they would seem when you were dreaming.

“Well I think if you come to the movies with me, Jeremy, Brian and tom tonight you would probably forget them for a bit” I suggested with an overly excited look on my face. She cracked a small smile, and I jumped up in excitement telling her to get ready.
“Wait” she grabbed my sleeve before I went “Can you do me a favour?”

I happily nodded “Shoot”

“Can you sleep here tonight?”

I smiled “SLUMBER PARTY” I yelled in an over exaggerated tone, she smiled, shaking her head. But I knew it was making her feel a little better.

When I was exiting Hannah’s room Brian grabbed my wrist and swung me into his arms, for a small kiss. He then grabbed me and put me over his shoulders, I laughed and hit his back as he walked, but he didn’t seem to flinch at all. Oli walked past and gave Brian a quick hello, ignoring the fact that I was swung over his shoulder.