Boy Wonder in Love: Second Season

At lunch, I walked into the cafeteria with Cora. I wrinkled my nose slightly at the thick, lingering smell of macaroni and cheese.

“I’m gonna grab a yogurt,” Cora said, catching me off guard by smacking my butt super fast before walking away. A baffled, amused chuckle huffed out of me as I watched her walk away. There’s something about the way Cora walks that makes me want to walk beside her (although, yeah ok fine, everything about Cora makes me want to be beside her).

I went over to our usual table and sat down, looking around and feeling a little self-conscious since there was no one else at the table. I looked over at the popular kids’ table.
Yep they’re… all there. And they were laughing away about whatever it is popular kids laugh about. How awesome they are in comparison to all the losers around them?

Actually, I have gotten to know one of the popular girls a little. I wondered what Amanda would find funny; since she was fairly homogeneous with the rest of the group, they probably laughed at the same things. Although, the only time Amanda had laughed when she and I have interacted was when she was laughing at me so… unless they've got a better-looking version of me over there (doubtful), I have no way of deducing what they’re giggling about.

“It’s just strange. I’m telling you, it leaves such a… tone of abandonment,”

I blinked, pulling myself out of popular kid comedy obsession, as Minnie and Harold sat down at our table. They were arguing- oh, excuse me, debating- about something. Harold gets a little snippy at me when I say he and Minnie argue all the time. And, ok, fine, they don’t actually argue. Minnie and Harold are a couple of brainiacs who don’t agree on practically any subject. They usually debate their opinions on philosophical musings or ethical issues, occasionally political tactics. In fact, they first fell in love when they were going head to head over the origin of the universe. True story.

“See, I don’t agree,” Harold said, shaking his head. “I think you’re not taking into consideration the obvious stratification of maturity,” He said.

“Harold, yes I am,” Minnie said, impatiently pushing one of her black pig tails over her shoulder. Oh, Minnie and Harold are both Asian and make a pretty cute couple, aesthetically speaking.

“It’s unnerving that neither Spongebob Squarepants nor Patrick have parents! I mean, their mentality is obviously geared to relate to children ages, what? Six to twelve?” Minnie held up her palm for agreement. Harold paused to think about the demographic and then nodded.

“I watch Spongebob,” I spoke up. I almost never get a chance to contribute to their conversations. Harold grinned at me. Minnie pointed her hand at me.

“And, ok, Robin has parents!” She went on. I nodded because, yes, I do have parents.

“And just imagine for one minute what it’s like for Robin to watch that show, as, as a six year old,” Minnie painted the scenario. “And these characters that are so, like you said-”

“Vivid and realistic. They’re hilariously relatable,” Harold injected.

“Exactly. Robin sees Patrick as a role model but Patrick and Spongebob live in this odd, hippie, sudo-reality, where their actions aren’t governed by consequence or adult leadership-” Minnie listed.

“Squidward is kind of an adult,” I said.

“Kind of. Ok, yes, fine… but he doesn’t look out for Spongebob so he can’t be seen as a parental figure,” Minnie said.

“What about Mr. Krabs?” I asked. “He’s mature. He runs the Krusty Krab. And he’s Spongebob’s boss,” I said.

“An obsession with money is not strictly speaking an adult quality,” Minnie said, making a face and shaking her head.

“Ok, well let’s talk about Spongebob’s reality then,” Harold said, lifting his arms and resting them on the table.

Suddenly, Cora sat down next to me, plopping her yogurt on the table.

“Hey guys,” She greeted as she sat down and I grinned at her. She raised her eyebrows at me.

“What are we talking about?” She chuckled at me as she adjusted herself in her spot.

“Whether or not Spongebob and Patrick live in a creepy, hippie commune that sets a poor example of reality for children,” Minnie said.

“Minnie, what reality?” Harold demanded, exasperated. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Minnie tilted her head at him and his tone. Harold went on:

“He lives in a pineapple under the sea-”

“Sponge-bob Square-pants,” I couldn’t resist singing. Cora giggled and peeled off the lid of her yogurt.

“He’s a talking dish sponge! There is no reality there to mix up a little kid. It’s like…” Harold broke off, looking up at the ceiling for inspiration.

“It’s like Bikini Bottom is a big, care-free, safe… play pen, you know? And, like, ok, you have to concede that not everyone in Spongebob’s world is at his child-like level,”

“Yes, fine, there are more mature characters and they aren’t exactly malicious,” Minnie agreed, nodding.

“I want to go to Bikini Bottom,” I said, turning my head to look at Cora. She raised her eyebrows at me and gently smacked my arm while she chuckled.

“Will you go with me?” I asked, frowning. Cora scooped out a spoonful of yogurt.

“I don’t see how you’re going to get there without me,” She said breezily, making me grin.

“… comes down to suspending the normal conventions of adult leadership and committing to the charming hippie-like community of Spongebob,” Harold said. Minnie stared at him and he stared back at her.

“… fine,” She conceded graciously and looked away from him. “I guess it is sort of like a play pen without adults. That was a good analogy,” She complimented with a frown. Minnie looked at Harold and squished her mouth over to one side. Neither of them like it when the other out-debates them. Harold smiled though and kissed Minnie on the top of her head.

… aw! Dude.

Minnie delicately picked out one of the curly fries from the plate Harold had bought. They looked pretty good so I took one too.

"Is there an assembly last period?” Minnie asked anyone at the table.

“Is there?” Cora asked, looking at me.

“Uh… yeah I think so,” I said, looking at Harold for confirmation. He was nodding.

“Nice. Let’s skip it and do something more fun than sitting in the gym,” Cora said and grinned devilishly at all of us. Although Cora is beautiful and I would follow her to the ends of the earth (shut up. It’s true, even if it is overly dramatic of me to say so), sometimes her more daring ideas make me a little squirmy. The only time I’ve ever cut class was with her and I’m such a wimp when it comes to that kind of thing that I would never do it on my own.

“It’s mandatory. They’re going to take attendance,” Harold told us calmly. Minnie stole another fry.

"Craps," Cora said, put out, as she looked down at her yogurt, churning it with her spoon. I stole another of Harold's French fries, glancing at Cora and watching her expression.

"Well let's at least sit together," Cora said, putting her spoon upside down in her mouth.

"Ok," Minnie said.

"Me 'n BW will come find you guys," Cora said, taking her spoon out of her mouth and running her tongue seductively over her bottom lip quickly. I rolled my eyes at the nickname (even though I secretly love it, but don't tell Cora that).

"We'll hunt you down. Use radar and code names," I added, looking up at the ceiling aloofly. Cora pinched me gently.

"Ow," I complained anyway and looked at her. She just smiled at me and I tried to keep a blank expression on my face but then smiled back at her. Fack I'm such a pushover.
The four of us finished our respective yogurt and fries and then left the cafeteria. Minnie and Harold walked in front of Cora and me, holding hands and starting another debate.

"I hope the assembly doesn't take all block," I said, scrunching my nose. Cora linked her arm casually through mine.

"Why not?" She asked, confused. Because, ordinarily, although assemblies are horrifically boring, students prefer them over regular classes. Why?

1.) No homework. Bonus.

2.) You don't really have to pay attention. I mean, we should, but come on. No one ever freakin' does. Like, that guy in the wheelchair may have a fresh spin on the 'don't drink and drive' message that'll tug at your heart strings, but some of the douche bags at that same assembly are still going to get tanked and plough into a telephone pole. Sad, but true.

3.) Someone will get in trouble for lighting up their lighter or shouting out inappropriate comments and that's always fun. Although, it's probably the same guy who's gonna get drunk and drive his pick-up truck into a ditch.

"I don't want to miss out on all of guitar class. That's way better than a freakin' assembly," I said. Cora and I have guitar class together. If music comp was a joke, guitar class is the punch line. Mr. Giraldi let me in the class so I could get class credit but goof off (since I already play the guitar pretty well) and although Cora can't play the guitar and should be sitting with the rest of the wanna-be hipster kids, Mr. Giraldi lets her sit in the practice room with me. We've worked out a deal: I've promised to teach Cora the guitar if he lets her sit with me in the practice room.

It's a beauty of a set up. We either playing music or gettin' our mack on during guitar class. So, understandably, I'd rather do that go to an assembly.

"You're right. I mean we could make out at the assembly, but I think we'd get in shit," Cora said playfully. My male body parts perked up at the idea of passionately making out with Cora in public with an audience.

"Can we anyway??" I asked hopefully. Cora just laughed at me.

"No, you're right. We don't want to be like those drunk driver kids," I sighed.

"What?" Cora caught. A quick blush burned the back of my neck.

"Uh... never mind," I brushed off quickly, making Cora laugh some more.