SugarDaddy

"Okay Natalie, breath, just breath and everything will be okay." I said to myself as I paced around my studio, glancing down at my torso and legs every once in a while. My heart beat feverishly in my chest and I felt like I was going to pass out. "Don't think about it, think of something else." I closed my eyes and attempted to do just that, but it didn't work. "Oh God."

"Nattie, honey, you have to calm down." Eddie said with his gay lisp as he placed a hand on my shoulders from behind. I turned around and looked into his green eyes, feeling my brown ones fill with fearful tears.

"But Eddie, look at me. How can I calm down when I look like this?" I asked with a sob as I felt tears leave my eyes. Eddie looked me up and down before smiling.

"You're beautiful, baby." He pulled me into a warm hug. "He's not going to think anything bad about you, I promise." He soothed me. I pulled away from the hug and looked into his eyes and shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I don't know Eddie," I hiccuped. "His e-wife is so beautiful as are the other girls. So skinny and fit and pretty and- "

"You're ten times prettier," he cut in making me chuckle lightly. He shook his head as he cupped my face. "Nattie, he cares about you and thinks you're beautiful, I can see it when he looks at you. You may think otherwise because of this agreement you have, but give it some time and I promise you this relationship you guys have will blossom into something beautiful, like you." He kissed my cheek.

I sighed. "Eddie, what would I be without you?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in a tight embrace.

"Fashionably clueless."

I laughed and nodded my head. "Definitely that." I looked at the clock that was on the wall and almost let out a scream at what I saw. "Oh my God, Eddie it's 12:55, he's gonna be here in five minutes! Do you think I have time to change?" I asked desperately.

"No Natalie, you are not changing, you look beautiful and Matt will love it, too." He placed his hands on my shoulders again. "Just relax, remember to breath and have fun, okay?" He asked me slowly. I nodded my head as I attempted to catch my breath. "And if anything goes wrong or if you feel uncomfortable just call me and I'll get Pete to pick you up."

I smiled weakly. "Okay."

"That's my girl," he kissed my forehead. Before he could say anything else a knock was heard from the front door. "And here's my babe."

I tried to laugh but all that came out was a nervous chuckle. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, my self-confidence had been thrown out the window and my self-esteem seemed to plummet.

Eddie opened the door and there before me stood Matt wearing swimming trunks that were a dark blue almost black and a white shirt. He had on a backwards hat with no bandanna and his white aviator glasses. A smile broke out on his face once he saw me, but even that couldn't cheer me up.

"Hey hun," Eddie said as he stepped back, allowing Matt to enter the studio. He looked at Eddie and shook his hand, saying hello to him and averting his gaze to me.

I felt my cheeks burn as he looked at me. In my mind I pictured him looking at me in disgust, wanting nothing more than to leave and drive away, but that didn't happen. Instead of turning away he stepped closer to me.

I looked at the ground, embarrassed of my body and I could sense that Matt knew I was feeling self-conscious. I felt like crying but held it in, I didn't want to make an even bigger fool of myself.

He gently placed his fingers beneath my chin and slowly brought my face up, our eyes connecting. He smiled softly, his dimples creasing close to the corners of his mouth as his hazel eyes glistened from the light that was hitting them. He let out a soft sigh as his other hand was pressed against my head, his thumb caressing my cheek.

"Don't," he said as he pressed his forehead against my own. "Don't think like that." He knew. He knew what I was thinking. He knew what I thought of my body. He knew that I hated the way I looked.

I closed my eyes and felt the tears well once again.

"You're beautiful." I felt the corner of my lips twitch up into a smile. Beautiful. He thought I was beautiful. I pulled my head back and stared into his eyes again. His big hazel eyes that held so much warmth.

"Thank you," I whispered. He smiled as he softly pressed his lips against my own, so soft I could barely feel his lips, but enough to know what he was doing. As he pulled away my heart beat in my chest. I couldn't control what I was feeling, I always felt so insecure when I showed off my body because even as I child I was always slightly chubbier than the other girls.

He let go of my chin and stepped away from me, grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together. "Are you ready?" He asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. I wondered what was inside as I nodded my head.

"Here Nattie," Eddie said as he handed me my beach bag that contained a towel to lay on and wash off with, sunscreen and suntan lotion, a brush, sunglasses and a book. I took that bag from him with my free hand and thanked him. "Have fun, okay honey?" He asked as he kissed my cheek.

"I'll make sure she does," Matt cut in and smiled at me as I followed him out the door. I looked back at Eddie and giggled when I saw him reaching a hand out in front of him and using the other one to smack an invisible butt.

Apparently Matt heard me because he turned his head to see Eddie doing his booty-smack dance. Even with his aviators on you could still see his eyes widen in shock and his mouth gap. Eddie looked up and immediately stopped, standing up straight and fixing his shirt.

"Uh... fly," he said as he swatted an invisible fly. I snorted from holding in a laugh.

"...right," Matt nodded his head and turned his head as he let go of my hand, quickly unlocking the doors and holding mine open for me. He closed it without a word and jogged to his side, opening it and sliding in. In an instant the car was on and we were on the road heading to the beach. "Um, Eddie... well he's, uh."

"He's unique, Matt. That's what I say to convince myself he's not crazy." I chuckled because he still had that shocked look on his face.

He nodded his head, "Okay, unique he is."

Everything became awkwardly quiet as we sat in the car, no one spoke. He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the non-existent music. I bit my lip as I looked around the car and out the window trying to find something to distract myself from the awkwardness, and that was when I remembered the envelope he still had in his hand.

"What's that?" I asked pointing to it.

"Oh," he said suddenly remembering something. "Yeah, this is for you." He placed it in his other hand and handed it to me, glancing at me as he attempted to keep his eyes on the road.

"What is it?" I took it from his hands and examined it. It was a plain envelope, closed but not sealed. It felt like a bunch of paper. Was it a contract or something?

"It's... you know," He waved his hand as he tried to explain to me what it was. I raised my eyebrow not really understanding what he was trying to say. "It's your...," he continued to do weird gestures with his hands. Whatever he was trying to tell me he was uncomfortable with it. "...pay."

I looked down at the envelope and slowly opened it, my eyes widening at what I saw inside. "Oh my," I quickly looked away from it. "Matt, how much is this?" I asked a cross between amazed and frantic.

"Just a bit of money," he shrugged his shoulders as he tried to brush it off like nothing.

"Matt, there has got to be at least five-hundred dollars in here!" I remained shocked as I looked inside the envelope, staring at the dozens of fifty's. "I can't take this," I shook my head.

"What?" He looked at me shocked. "Why?"

"It's too much, way, way too much." I continued to shake my head as I closed it and handed it back. "I can't take it." He stared at me, trying to figure out if I were lying. He sighed deeply through his nose, his shoulders rising then dropping.

He shook his head. "I can't take it back."

"Why?" I asked with wide eyes.

"It's yours," he said as he glanced at me. "I wanted to pamper someone and this is me doing it. Money for you to spend and buy whatever you want. To pay bills, buy food - take Eddie to get his hair done." He added with a smile.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. "Look, you don't have to spend it all. I just wanted to give you something that could help you. And from what you told me you really need it. If you don't want to think about it a you friend or 'boyfriend' giving you money then think of it as business."

He had me there.

I signed up for this. I signed up to become someones companion in a return for money. If it's what I wanted then why do I feel so bad about it? Why do I feel like what I'm doing is wrong? Maybe because it is. This is wrong. In some way, it's prostitution. Hell, even his best friends don't know the real reason why I'm around them.

I sighed deeply as I placed the envelope in my beach bag. "Okay," I nodded my head as I looked at him. "Thanks."

He smiled at me. "You're welcome." He reached for the radio and pressed a button and it lit up with a blue light. "Let's listen to some music, yes?" I nodded my head. An oldie song began to play, a song that I happened to love and listen when I was younger.

I'm just a lonely boy
Lonely and blue
I'm all alone
With nothin' to do

I've got everything
You could think of
But all I want
Is someone to love

Someone, yes, someone to love
Someone to kiss
Someone to hold
At a moment like this

I'd like to hear
Somebody say
I'll give you my love
Each night and day

"Paul Anka," I smiled.

"Who?" Matt asked as he kept his eyes on the road as he fiddled with the radio, changing the channel to a classic rock station.

"Paul Anka, the guy that was singing." I said as I sang the words inside my head. "I love his music. Did you know they used his music in the new Nightmare on Elm Street?"

"Really?" He asked with a grin, his dimples appearing. "That dream, dream, dream song?"

I nodded my head. "Yup, All I Have to do is Dream. That's him." I looked out the window as I watched cars pass by us and turn in different directions, switching lanes, exiting and entering the freeway. "How much longer until we get there?"

"About five more minutes," he said as he used his blinker to change lanes. I nodded my head as I sat back in my seat and listened to the music as I let my mind wander off. Thoughts began to go through my head. All the possibilities of what could go wrong.

How would they re-act when they see me? Would they be disgusted? Would they tease me? Make a joke?

"Don't." I turned my head to face Matt to see giving me a look that said he knew what I was thinking. I looked down at my legs and crossed my arms over my stomach. "Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, Natalie, you're beautiful." I held in the tears in my eyes as I nodded my head. He simply sighed.

The car was silent again and in minutes we were finding a place to park and getting out of the car. Across the street from us was the beach that was pretty empty. "Why is it so empty?" It's a Friday, shouldn't it be full?

"Private."

"Oh," I said as I gripped my bag, using it to shield my body as we crossed the street and onto the side walk then the sand, walking towards a volleyball net with the guys surrounding it and the girls laying close by on their towels.

"Hey, Matt and Natalie are here!" Someone called out and everyone turned their head to face. I felt my cheeks heat up and Matt gripped my hand and began to caress my fingers, something that always calmed me and this time was no different.

Gena got up from her towel and ran up to us, pulling Matt into a quick hug then practically tackling me, luckily I had Matt to grab my shoulders before I could fall.

"Gena!" I laughed as she let go. I again felt self-conscious, especially since she was so thin and had a nice body. "Hey," I smiled once she was standing in front of me. She looked me up and down and that when I began to feel self-conscious again. Of course I wasn't wearing a bikini, but I still felt pretty exposed with what I was wearing.

I wore a black tankini top with black bikini bottoms and a mesh bikini wrap what was tied around my waist like a squirt. It wasn't revealing or anything, but it reminded me that I wasn't as fit, skinny or beautiful as the others.

As Gena looked me up and down a smile slowly began to form on her face. "You look great," she chimed. "Come on, say hi to everyone!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me which cause Matt to be dragged too since he was still holding my hand.

"Hey, Natalie!" Jason Berry exclaimed as he pulled me into a hug upon approaching me. "How are ya'?" He asked with large smile.

"I'm good and you?" I asked kindly.

"See, she cares about me!" He said as he turned to look at the others standing by the volleyball net.

"I suppose someone has too," Brian said making the others laugh. He simply flipped them off as he faced me again.

"I'm good."

I laughed as I followed him to the guys allowing me to say hi to all of them. Zacky was more open and gave me a hug since this was the third time he had seen me while the others gave me waves. Johnny, I could see was getting used to me but I could tell the Brian, like Michelle, wasn't completely used to me yet.

After greeting them Matt told me to go lay with the girls while he and the guys did 'manly things.' Earning himself a laugh from the girls. Gena grabbed my hand and led my back to were she was laying with the girls. It was Lacey, Valary, Michelle, Leanna and Gena's towel.

"Natalie, hey." Lacey said from her spot on the floor. "What's up?" She rolled over onto her stomach sliding sunglasses onto her face.

"Beach," I simply said. I was too shy and still pretty bummed about how crappy I looked.

"Cool," she nodded her head.

"Nice to see you again," Valary said from her spot next to Lacey. "You need some sun." I laughed and nodded my head agreeing with her. "And today seems like a perfect day." I ignored Michelle and she ignored me as I walked passed her.

"Hi Natalie," a soft voice said. I looked down and in front of my laid Leanna, the wife of their deceased friend. She lifted the glasses off of her face and smiled softly at me.

"Hi," I smiled as I gave her a small wave, my heart breaking as I thought about the pain she must be feeling. "How are you?" I asked.

She nodded her head, "Good - sweaty." She chuckled.

"Yeah, it's pretty warm today." I said as Gena took my beach bag from me and yanking my towel out and placing it on the floor next to her spot. "I could have done that myself." I pointed out as he wiped her hands clean of sand.

"I know, but you took too long." She smiled cheekily as she laid back down on her towel and patted mine. "Come, lay down, soak up some sun with us." She picked up some sunglasses off the floor and cleaned the before putting them on.

I again felt self-conscious as I walked to my towel and laid down on it. My heart beat fiercely in my chest as I tried not to show how uneasy I felt around them. I didn't want them to know that they made me feel ugly. I counted to ten and closed my eyes, trying my best to ignore the thoughts in my mind that seemed to beat my down with every breath I took.

"You don't look bad, you know." I turned my head to face Gena who was smiling sadly at me from behind her glasses. "I can tell you feel uncomfortable, but you shouldn't. Sure, you're chubby, but nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about."

"I know," I said with a sigh.

"You picked a good bathing suit for you. It's cute - it shows off what you have," she shook her chest making me laugh, "- without showing too much. You look good, okay?" She placed a hand on my arm.

I smiled at her and nodded my head. "Yeah, thanks."

"Anytime."

I felt slightly better knowing that at least one of them thought I was pretty and looked okay in the bathing suit I got, but that bit of self-esteem and self-confidence I managed build up vanished as I heard whispering.

"Stop it, Mich." It was Valary. "Don't say that." And she was talking to Michelle.

"Come one, Val. I'm surprised she found something that fit her. You gotta admit that you're pretty surprised too." Michelle said with a sneer. I felt my heart drop as she said those words. Did I really look that bad?

"Michelle, stop it and no I'm not surprised. She a pretty girl, so stop trying to talk shit." She sounded angry.

"I'm not, I'm just saying that I don't understand how Matt could choose her over you. I bet he can't even pick her up." I felt tears well in my eyes as she said this. She was right. How could he choose someone like me over someone as beautiful and skinny and sweet as Valary?

"Michelle, shut up!" Valary shouted causing everyone to look at her.

Oh God, everyone is going to find out what they're arguing about and they're all going to realize she's right.

"Hey, come one now, no fighting." Matt Berry said as he attempted to joke. The guys were still looking at them as were the girls.

"What's going on?" Zacky asked as he played with the ball that was in his hands.

"Nothing, Michelle is just being stupid." Valary fumed as she glared at her to who in return glared at her.

"I'm not being stupid, I'm saying the truth and you're just getting upset that I'm willing to speak my mind about- "

"Don't you dare, Mich." Valary said in a low, threatening voice. "Don't you dare say it."

"Okay, what's going on?" Brian asked as he stepped away from the game and walked towards us, standing only a few feet away from the twins. "What are you guys fighting about this time?" He asked with a smile. "Hair? Make up?" This made the guys chuckle.

"No actually, we're talking about- "

"Michelle, I am warning you." Valary spoke out.

"What is pissing you off so much about it, Val?" Michelle asked as she stood up from her towel, waving her arms around. Brian's smile dropped once he realized something serious was happening. "All I am saying is I don't understand how Matt can choose her over you, I mean, look at her! I'm surprised she even found a bathing suit that fit her."

Everyone went quiet at this and I felt my heart stop.

"Michelle..." Lacey looked up at Michelle with wide eyes. I felt my breath come short as everyone glanced between Michelle, Valary and I. The tears that filled my eyes began to fall. I felt ugly, I felt fat and Michelle was right.

I held in a sob as I stood up from my towel, everyone averting their gaze at me. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to look at them but knew they were giving me looks of pity. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I began to walk away and towards a the nearest bus stop, leaving all my things.

"Natalie!" Matt called after me but I ignored him as I cried. I could hear his feet hitting the sand as he ran after me. "Natalie!" Not even a second after calling my name I felt his hand grab my wrist as he stopped me from walking any further. "Natalie, don't go."

I faced him with tears streaming down face face. "She's r-right." I sobbed.

"No," he shook his head and pulled me into a tight embrace. "She's not right. You're beautiful, Natalie, Michelle is just upset that you're not Valary." He said as he attempted to stop my crying. "You're beautiful, baby." He spoke softly. "You're not big, you're not fat - you're amazing, and funny, and smart."

"You're just saying that s-so I could stop c-crying," I stuttered as I rested my head against his now bare chest.

"No, I mean it." He cupped my face and lifted my head, his eyes boring into my own. "You're beautiful," he whispered as he softly pressed his lips against my own. I was still for a moment but found myself kissing back. The kiss progressed and soon were battling each other, out tongues fighting for dominance.

I sighed into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him so that there was no more space between us and we were pressed against each other. I ran my hands up down down his shoulders as I held in a moan as his fingers rubbed my sides.

Our heated kiss turned into pecks as he pressed his forehead against mine, smiling at me with his dimples. "Are you ready to go back or do you want to go home?" I thought about it, but came to a conclusion.

"I'll stay."

"Are you sure?" He asked as he searched my eyes. I nodded my head as I smiled softly. I didn't want Michelle to know that her words had hurt me and I didn't want the others to know that I was so weak. "Okay, let's go." He said as he intertwined our fingers together as he led me back.

I felt my heart thump in my chest as we neared everyone. Michelle was gone as was Brian but her things we still on the floor. Where could they be?

"Natalie, are you okay?" Valary rushed over to me and pulled my into a hug. "I'm sorry Michelle said those things. She's being stupid right now and I yelled at her for what she said. Believe me when I say that I don't believe a word she said. I'm sorry," she apologized with a heart broken smile.

I nodded my head. "It's okay, I forgive you." I added emphasis on 'you' letting her know that I only forgave her.

"Nattie, ignore Michelle, don't believe what she says!" Gena said as she attacked my in another hug, luckily I had Matt to hold me up. "I don't know why she's being a bitch but if you want I'll kick her ass for you, yeah?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Not right now, Gena."

"Later then, alright!" I laughed as she stepped back and return to her towel. A she stepped away Lacey filled her spot and hugged me, telling me how sorry she was for the things Michelle said and that every single word wasn't true. I thanked her, of course.

"Natalie?" I looked down to see Leanna standing up from her towel and stepping closer to me. "I'm sorry about the shit Michelle said. If it means anything, I think you're beautiful." She said softly.

I did the only thing I thought was right. I pulled her into a tight hug. She was obviously caught off guard but began to hug me back just as tight. "Thank you," I whispered. As I pulled away from the hug she grinned widely.

"You're welcome." She went back to her towel and sat down. "Sit," she said pointing to my towel.

I looked back at Matt who only nodded his head. He softly pecked my lips before stepping away and heading towards the guys, probably to continue the game and tell them I was okay. Soon their worried glances turned to relieved smiles.

I sat down next to Gena, not feeling as self-conscious as I did before. "Where's Michelle and Brian?" I asked as I laid down on my back, trying my best to regain my composure.

"They're in his car fighting. He wasn't to happy when he saw you walking away crying and told Michelle to get up. He was pretty pissed." Gena spoke.

"I bet he's getting sick of the way she's acting too, since he always has to deal with her every time she complains about something." Lacey said as she rubbed more suntan lotion on her arms, rolling over onto her stomach.

"I started their argument?" I asked feeling pretty bad.

"No, Michelle started it with her big mouth," Leanna cut in. I was surprised to hear her talk like that, but I guess she's taking time to come out of her shell after Jimmy's death. "She's just being a bitch right now because she thinks you're taking Valray's place." She said as she laid back, blowing a bubble with a piece of gum she had in her mouth. I looked at Valary who shook her head and rolled her eyes as she placed her sunglasses over her eyes mumbling, 'stupid.' Most likely something about Michelle.

Not even two minutes later Michelle returned with a huff as she took her place on her towel next to Valary as Brian walked back to the guys, shaking his head. I watched, feeling pretty bad that they had an argument over me. He ran a hand through his head as he turned around to look at Michelle but caught me looking at him.

He smiled softly and winked at me. I smiled knowing that he was on my side and was starting to accept me after Michelle's little outburst.

We spent the whole day at the beach laughing, talking, going in the water and playing against the guys - the girls winning of course. Multiple times Matt had thrown me into the water as did the other guys to their girlfriends and Matt and Jason Berry to Leanna and Valary, against their will.

Not once did Michelle say anything to me and I was pretty grateful for that and whatever Brian said to keep her quiet. Leanna began to talk to me more and we exchanged numbers. She was so funny and adorable, no wonder Jimmy had fallen for her.

God, I hope Michelle doesn't try to do something stupid again.