Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Jade's POV

Winter was upon us and suddenly, the layers of clothing were piled on, along with heavy jackets and warmer shoes to keep the cold air out. With all of these warning signs, people began to hoard in as many Christmas decorations and snow supplies as their small mini vans could allow. It seemed that just about every family in Lutherville had a mini van. Families began to string up lights and put out the giant blow up Santas in their front yards, some of them more tacky looking than others. Christmas trees were being bought and families were going crazy over presents and whiny children talking about what they wanted Santa to bring them this year.

But as for Aunt Clara's house, it remained the same.

Christmas wasn't a big deal for our household, and, from what I understood, Clara wasn't so big on the whole 'holiday spirit'. Sure, she enjoyed the whole presents and stuff, but as for stringing lights and getting a tree, she wasn't so keen on the whole ordeal. She was simple...very simple when it came to holidays, considering that she didn't really have anyone around for the duration of the year.

It had been a couple weeks since my second break down; the one in the car. Alex had, as always, remained the same never mentioning it as if he would upset me just by talking about it, which I was very much grateful for. The group had hung out a couple more times and the boys had preformed in a show the week before, which was greatly attended by the girls in our group, including Lisa, who I had becoming surprisingly good friends with. We had texted some during school hours and hung out a couple of times, just to go to the movies and talk. She was really down to earth, unlike her bitch friends.

It seemed like a huge tension had been lifted form our group after Lisa and I began to connect; I guess everyone had felt the awkwardness whenever Lisa and I were in the same room together, I sure as hell did.

The group was progressing, and I felt a little more in motion with the passing weeks, but, for some reason, I still felt a little slower than the rest of the group. It was like I was there with them, but not completely. Two steps forward, one step back. My body was still stuck in reverse mode no matter how hard I tried to fix the problem.

As I sat in the living room, the rest of the group surrounded around me, watching the television like we always did, I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to these things. Was I the only one noticing these things? Yes. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open up to these people.

None of them, but Alex. And I still didn't know why.

“The show is fucking stupid,” Rian groaned from his spot on the couch next to Kara, his arm casually draped over her shoulder. There were grunts of agreement from everyone in the room, Jack reaching over from his seat next to me on the floor to grab the remote and change the channel once again.

“Guys,” Alex sighed, causing everyone's attention to fall upon him with his arm draped around his girlfriend's shoulders, “I'm bored.” I rolled my eyes, a smirk forming on my face.

“Typical Gaskarth,” Melanie scoffed from the couch next to Zack, my sister on his right. The both of them had been laughing and whispering things to each other all night.

Seriously, I thought, why doesn't he just ask her out already?!

“Jay Bird,” Alex yelled, my attention whipping over to him.

“Yeah, Lex?” I asked, feeling Jack drape his arm over my shoulder, my body instinctively cuddling into his side.

“...I'm bored.” I rolled my eyes once more, shaking my head and looking back over to the television screen.

“Jay,” Jack whispered, pulling my attention to him. I felt so scatterbrained; my attention was everywhere today.

“Yeah, Jacky?” I whispered back, looking up at his smiling face.

“Wanna go outside and run around?” My eyes widened as a huge grin took over my face, my head furiously nodding in agreement, “Alright, let's go.” He said, both of us scurrying to our
feet to the front door.

“Hey!” Someone I could only recognize as Rian's voice floating into our ears, “Where are you two going?” He asked as Jack and I tugged on our sneakers and coats.

“Outside to run around like four year olds,” Jack shouted back as he handed me my other sneaker, “Wanna come?”

There was a chorus of complaints about the cold and how lazy they all wanted to be at that moment, “Suit yourselves.” I yelled as I opened the front door, Jack immediately sprinting out into the December air.

The two of us skipped, arm in arm, down the steep driveway, picking up speed until we got to the part where we looked like horses galloping down the pavement to keep ourselves from falling flat on our faces. When we finally reached the bottom, we looked around, trying to find something to entertain ourselves.

“I'm kinda pooped now,” I said, plopping myself down on the curb, Jack following my actions.

After a few moments of silence, Jack sighed, “In the words of Alex Gaskank, I'm bored,” I burst out laughing, Jack joining in after a short moment, and we both sat there, laughing in the cold night air.

After we had both successfully caught our breath, I turned to look at my friend, his large nose starting to turn a pinkish color along with the apples of his cheeks; a product from the chilly wind hitting his face. I smiled softly, knowing very well that my face probably looked similar to his in that moment.

“Jay, I can see you checking me out from the corner of my eye. You're not very inconspicuous,” I laughed, turning away to face the street ahead of me.

“Such a big word, Jacky.”

“It's the only big word in my vocabulary.” I smiled, looking down at the pavement beneath my feet as I shuffled my converse around on the ground. A moment of silence passed between us, both of us watching as cars passed on the mostly abandoned street. As a car drove by with his window down, Jack cupped his hands around his mouth, “Hey! Mike!” The man in the car turned questionably to Jack, a confused look on his face as he drove away.

As soon as the car was gone, I looked over at Jack, an eyebrow raised, “Did you know that guy?”

Jack shook his head, “Nope.”

“Then how did you know his name-”

“I didn't,” I raised an eyebrow at the skunk-haired boy, his gaze fixed forward on the road in front of him. When he noticed my eyes had not left his face, he slowly turned towards me, slightly confused, “You've never played that game before?” He asked.

“What game?” I asked cautiously. With Jack, his definition of games was a little different than the average human's definition.

“Well,” He began, looking back at the street, “when you're in a car and you see someone walking out on the sidewalk, you yell out any name you can think of to them, and there's a good chance that they will look over at you.”

“What's the point of that?”

Jack smirked, “To laugh at people.” I chuckled softly, shaking my head as I fixed my eyes on the ground once more, “Okay, here comes a car. You try.”

I looked up. Sure enough, a small car was making its way down the street, the driver looking straight forward. I smiled, cupping my hands around my mouth, “Jake! My Man!” I yelled, catching the attention of the driver, who gave me a confused look. Jack and I waved furiously, the driver giving us a slightly disgusted look as he returned our wave halfheartedly.

As soon as the car was out of sight, the pair of us burst out in laughter, doubling over as we clutched our stomachs, leaning on each other to keep ourselves propped up on the cement.

“That...was...awesome!” I managed to choke out as Jack wiped a couple tears from under his eyes.

“Hell. Yes.” Just as Jack and I began to finally catch out breath, the air began to get surprisingly colder. I huddled myself more into my jacket, pulling the flaps closer around my body to maintain the little heat I had left.

“Dude, its fucking co-” Jack's sudden stop in his sentence caused me to look over him; his eyes crossed and peering down at the end of his large nose.

There, sitting on the tip of his giant, Lebanese, pink-tinted nose, was a single snowflake.

When Jack noticed my staring as well, his face broke out in a grin, before he stood up suddenly, grabbing my hand to pull me up with him.

The cold winter air soon became filled with tiny white specs floating around in all directions before they fell gracefully to the ground. I looked over at Jack, his grin widening along with my own. Without words needing to be spoken, the two of us broke out into a funky dance, jumping around and wailing our arms around above our heads.

“IT'S SNOWING!” I yelled, doing a cartwheel in the heat of my excitement.

“We should call the guys to get down here,” I nodded furiously as Jack whipped out his cell phone, scrolling through his contacts before selecting a number, “Rian, dude, you guys gotta come outside...Yes, its still cold out...Fuck you...No, you douche bag...Its snowing...Okay, see you in a second.” Jack flipped his phone closed before looking over at me, “They should be down any second.”

A few moments passed, filled with Jack and I trying to catch the falling snowflakes on our tongues, before the sound of what felt and seemed like the stampede of animals. Soon, all of the rest of the group was outside, their eyes wide as well as their smiles in pure joy for the first snowfall of the winter.

For a while, everyone was dancing around in the cold, trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues, or just running up and down the street. I stood in the middle of the road, looking around at my friends as they played around with each other.

Melanie and Jack were trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues, bumping into each other every so often. Kaylie and Lisa were skipping down the street, doing the occasional twirl with huge grins on their faces. Kara and Rian were sharing a sweet kiss as the snow fell around them, Rian's arms wrapped securely around his girlfriend's waist, both of their faces matching with a similar grin. My sister and Zack were chasing around the pavement, loveable grins on their lips. When Zack would catch Bailey, he would wrap her in his arms from behind, tickling her before she escaped and the process began again.

And finally, there was Alex.

He slowly made his way toward me, a soft smile on his face, “What are you doing?” He asked, standing next to me on my right.

I shrugged, “Just standing here, trying to look like a loner.”

“You're succeeding,” I laughed softly, looking up into his face as he peered down at me.
Moments passed as we stood there, watching our friends interact with one another before I broke the semi comfortable silence, “Why aren't you pulling a Rian and Kara right now with you're girlfriend?”

Alex smirked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer to his chest, “Well, for starters, I'm not whipped like Rian is, and two, Lisa and I just aren't that couple like we used to be.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why not?”

He sighed, running his free hand over his face, “To be honest, I have no fucking clue.”

There was a small silence before I hesitantly began to speak, “Do you want to go and talk to her?”

Alex shook his head, “Not really. I wanna just hang here with my Jay Bird for a couple minutes.”

Looking back over to my friends, I couldn't help but smile; I finally felt like I belonged somewhere that would help me out for the better. A pain in my bottom lip pulled me back into reality. As I touched the small split in my lip that I had gotten a week previous, I couldn't help but think if everything I was achieving was worth the pain I was going through in the process.

Was anything worth it? Was it worth relieving memories I had tried to bury over the past months after my older brother's passing?

A warm hand grasping mine pulled me back into reality, my smile returning to my face. But the pain in my lip returned as well, causing my brain to go into overload.

Was the one thing in Lutherville that was helping me to succeed, really pulling me back?
Two steps forward, one step back.

I didn't know if I'd ever get out of the cycle, but I know I sure as hell wanted to be.