He's My Brother's Best Friend and My Enemy, This Can't Be Good!

The boys’ last game before the championship was tonight. They had been at school for the last couple hours practicing. I was supposed to be there but after last night, I texted Coach saying I wasn’t feeling well but I’d be there tonight for sure. He wasn’t too happy about it but he would have to deal with it.

After Parker slammed the door to his room last night I decided it was best if I stayed away from him for a while. I didn’t want to distract him from the game tonight. Besides, I was in no shape to talk to him. I spent the whole night crying alone in my dark room. I guess there was no one to blame for that but myself.

Max kept texting me throughout the practice asking me what was going on but I just played it off. Apparently, after Parker got home last night he left to go back to Max’s house. Meaning Max knew that we were fighting and I didn’t need to deal with that.

Miranda had left with Jayden, and Cass and them were all out running errands which meant I was alone at least for now. Being in my room alone was not helping matters at all. I decided to take my laptop into Parker’s room. The minute the door opened I was hit with his scent. I instantly regretted my decision. I continued on through his room until I was comfortable on his bed with my laptop on my belly.

I was so mad at myself for last night. I loved Parker and I knew he loved me but for some reason things just escalated. He was right though, I was letting Matt ruin my life. I did deserve to be happy, I deserved to be with Parker. I deserved to live a life without some asshole creeping in the back of my mind.

I felt crazy talking to myself so I decided to log on and see if Jake was online, I needed to clear my head. Thankfully he was. My cursor blink as I thought of what to respond to his ‘what’s up.’ I wasn’t going to tell Jake the full story. He didn’t know me that well and I wasn’t prepared to let the story slip but I did decide to let him help me.

Lying in Parker’s bed I told Jake about the night I had just had. I was really surprised to see that he didn’t press the issue of the story but was content with what I had said. That was the good thing about Jake, he never questioned me unlike the people I hang around with. He did tell me something that stuck though. He told me that there was no way my relationship with Parker was ever going to work if I was lying. He said I could trust Parker and that I needed to tell him, it would make everything better.

I knew Jake was right but it still wasn’t enough to convince me. I’ve lived with this secret for two and half years because it wasn’t going to benefit anyone from knowing. No one knows the full story of Matt because I’m protecting myself without telling it. Yet, by protecting myself I’m also destroying myself.

It was now three o’clock and since the boys would be coming home to get ready I decided I should get ready myself. I left Parker’s room, making sure to leave everything how it was before I got in there. I walked over to my closet and grabbed my jersey. That’s right after we made it to the play-offs Coach got me my very own jersey. It was good timing too, since Miranda had still been wearing Jayden’s jersey. Parker’s spare jersey had been retired to the public eye. It became a big mystery as to where it was and who would turn up with it. Little did they know that I still had it and frequently wore it as a pajama.

After getting dressed I painted the boys numbers on me like I had done for the last four years of my life. I realized this could be the last time I write their high school numbers on my cheek. If we didn’t win tonight the season was over. I didn’t want to think about not seeing my brother and Parker play on their field ever again. Pushing the thought to the back of my mind, I grabbed my keys and left the house.

Just as I was pulling out the others were getting home. I waved goodbye quickly before anyone could ask question. From my rearview mirror I could see Parker’s gloom face watching me. I kept going, now was not the time.

It was still too early to head to the school so I made a few stops on the way there. After getting gas and stopping for something to eat I headed over to the field. It was still an hour away from game time but the place was packed. I probably didn’t pick the best day to drive myself. Luckily I found parking and headed over to Coach’s office.

“There’s my favorite unofficial side coach,” he said looking up from his clipboard.

I chuckled, “Sorry about earlier, food poisoning but I’m ready for tonight.”

“Glad to know someone is, you should have seen the guys this afternoon, horrible. If that tells me anything we’re not getting to the championships this year,” he sighed.

I was shocked. The boys had been doing good all this week leading up to the game. They were all hyped yesterday I wonder what happened. “They’ll pull through. Jayden and Parker want that fourth straight championship.”

“Yeah, well someone clearly needs to remind them what that means. Especially Parker he was horrible today. I don’t know what’s gotten in to him but if today was any indication he may not be playing tonight.”

Not be playing? Parker lived for football. This was his team, his year. You can’t put the captain of the team on the bench. Especially not in a game at this level. “He won’t disappoint you,” I reassured him before leaving the office and heading for the stands.

Parker was never once off his game. Everyone else had their off days, not Parker. He was the glue to the team, the reason we had won so many times. Sure Jayden played a big part but Jayden was a decent player, Parker was the player.

I quickly found Ava in the stands. I knew she was at practice today and I needed some kind of reassurance that coach was just overreacting.

“Hey are you feeling better? I missed you today,” she smiled sincerely.

“Yea. Hey how were the guys today? I talked with Coach and he didn’t seem to happy.”

“They we’re all right. They all seemed really stressed, Parker was a bit off today too. He kept dropping the ball and stuff.”

Fuck. This was my fault. We were going to lose tonight and it was going to be all my fault.

“Are you okay Jos?” Ava asked.

I nodded my head before running off to the locker room. When I got there the boys were all hyped up. I was met with a chorus of cheers and my name. They all really did love me, but none of that mattered right now. Before I could find Parker, Max pulled me aside.

“What the hell is up with you two?” he whispered.

“Where is he?”

“Moping in his corner. What ever happened last night is messing with him Jos. This is not the time for this to happen.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that Max!” I yelled. Does everyone like telling me the most evident things, do I look that stupid. I walked away from Max to find Parker.

Parker was sitting by his locker, getting his shoes on. He wasn’t paying attention until he noticed my signature game day converse on. Full of our colors and all the boys numbers. His eyes met mind, but he was lost.

“Parker?” I said hoping for some kind of reaction but got nothing. Was this really happening? Was he really letting me go? He just kept staring at me, as if he was waiting for me to walk away, so I did. I knew I wasn’t going to get through to him, at least not in that moment.

I walked out of the locker room and assumed my position on the bench. I couldn’t believe this was happening, that I was losing Parker. Losing Parker because of my past. I had really done it this time.

The boys ran out and broke their banner, smiles prominent through their helmets. This was their moment, this could be it. They had to play harder than ever before. My dad always use to say the game right before the championship was always the most intense and he was never wrong.

The game was a nail bitter. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and we were only in the first quarter. Right now we were losing by a touchdown, which wouldn’t be too bad if we weren’t sucking tonight. Coach was ready to strangle first string but he couldn’t do anything. Our best players were out there, they just weren’t playing their best game.

The first quarter ended, indicating a small brake. At games like these there were always five minute breaks between quarters, which was a good thing for a few reasons. Parker was doing really bad and I knew Coach was going to bench him. I needed to talk to him. Coach called the boys over and told them to get water before coming back to discuss the next quarter, I took this as my time.

Getting Parker to talk to me wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing about Parker was ever easy. I quickly ran up to him before pulling him around to the side, where no one would notice us. He was clearly caught off guard but that didn’t stop me.

“Josylne what the hell I have to be back there in a minute!” he yelled.

“You won’t be back in the game if you keep playing the way you’ve been playing,” I stated bluntly.

He took a step back, readjusting his helmet that was still placed on his head. “Yea well I got a lot on my mind.”

“You don’t think the rest of those guys don’t? You don’t think they have their worries and doubts? You don’t think they care that their star player isn’t pulling his weight? You don’t think Jayden is pissed right now because you’re throwing away your guy’s fourth championship?”

Parker glanced from me to the clock that signified that he had less than a minute to be back on the field.

“Look at me,” I yelled. “Parker you are the heart and sole of this fucking team. You’ve lead them to three championships and I will be damned if I let you break that streak. So put the bullshit from last night behind you, right now. Football is more important than an argument with me. This game is more important that a stupid argument. Please go play like the three time state champions this school is.”

He finally removed his helmet and kissed me. “I love you Josylne.”

“I love you too. Now please go play and win,” I begged.

He ran back on the field with energy and fire. I knew this wasn’t over and tonight would be hard to face but I knew it was what I had to do. Being with Parker was more important than anything else.

The boys got their shit together in the second quarter thanks to Parker and Coach was ecstatic. At half time we were in the lead and it looked like things were staying that way. By the fourth quarter our second string offense was in the game and the boys were resting on the bench.

“I don’t what you told them, but thanks,” Coach said before hugging me.

Shortly after Max got a hold of me and hugged me. No words were needed, I knew what he meant.

The game ended and our side of the stands cheered. We had done it, we were going to the championship game for the fourth year in a row. Nothing could be better. Everyone was on the field congratulating the boys. Each of them receiving the kisses and hugs from their loved ones.

As the field cleared I found Parker sitting on the bench, taking in the events of tonight. I sat down next to him, but stayed quite.

“Thank you,” he said before putting his arm around me. I smiled.

“I couldn’t let you lose this game. Want to talk?” I asked becoming aware of what I was saying.

Parker looked at my face, “Let’s go celebrate first okay?” I nodded.

I hitched a ride with Parker, leaving my car at the school. We headed over to the diner to celebrate tonight’s win. I got out of the car and he followed shortly after me. We walked in and found our usual booth with two open spots just for us. I slid in next to Max and Parker slid in next to Jayden.

The celebrating went on until the diner began to close. Most of the guys were ready to call it a night, having been up since the early hours practicing. As everyone went their separate ways, Parker and I were left standing in front of the diner. Max and Ava had covered for us by telling Jayden and Miranda that we were going out with them. Thankfully there were no questions asked.

My car was still parked at the school so Parker drove us back there. The car ride was silent. I could feel the tension rising. I think Parker could too, because he kept looking over at me. As we pulled into the parking lot I began to get nervous.

He parked his truck beside my mustang, rolling down the windows before turning the engine off. This was my cue.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“Me too. I shouldn’t have asked you anything,” he admitted looking at me with regret in his eyes. “I just wanted to make you feel safe or something, it was stupid.”

“It wasn’t stupid Parker and you do make me feel safe.”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset or to say you should go back to him. I was just upset at the fact he was ruining our night.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” I tried to breathe. I needed to do this to feel okay. I need to do this so that Parker would understand, so that I could be free. “I don’t know why it still gets to me but it does and I’m sorry its ruining our relationship.”

“Josylne Grace, you don’t have to apologize.”

“That’s the thing, I do. I’ve let some asshole ruin my life for to many years, and now he’s ruining the best relationship to have ever happened to me. Parker you’ve always been there for me no matter what, even when we hated each other. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone but sometimes I feel so sick for keeping the truth from you.”

“Hey,” he said grabbing my hands and making me look at him. “You don’t have to tell me anything okay. I love you and nothing will come between that.”

“I can’t live with the secret anymore. I can’t let Matt ruin another good thing in my life because he was an asshole.”

Parker stiffened. He was smart enough to know where I was going with this, but I don’t think he was prepared for the truth either. “Josylne, what else happened that night?” he asked quietly.

I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was a freshman and he was a senior at the time. He played on the soccer team. Matt wasn’t know for sleeping around like the rest of the guys on the team, he was different. He went with me to Parker and Jayden’s game and was annoyed the whole time. He didn’t get how I could support football but not soccer. I was supposed to go to the diner after the game with the boys and Miranda, but Matt insisted we go to his house instead. No one was home when we got there and that was as far as anyone else knew. I told everyone that when I realized his parents weren’t home I called Jayden to come pick me up.

“I didn’t call you guys right away, he wouldn’t let me,” I whispered, trying to hold my voice steady as the tears began to build. “When we got there the house was dark but he told me his parents were sleeping and that we had to keep quite. He lied and I believed him. I hadn’t been to his house in the three months that we were dating because he told me he hated his house. He took me up to his room before shutting the door behind him.”

“Josylne,” Parker said concerned and angry.

I continued on. “He told me all this shit about how no one made him feel the way I did. I was just happy some stupid senior recognized me. He started kissing me, but when I realized what he was doing I stopped him. That didn’t make him too happy so he slapped me, and when I started yelling he slapped me again.”

Parker’s hand began to clench into a fist while the other held my hand. This is what I was so desperately afraid of. I didn’t want anyone to think different of me, or be mad. I just wanted it all to go away.

“Josylne, tell me didn’t do what I think he did,” Parker said through clenched teeth.

I tried to control myself but I knew I was losing control. “He tried, but I kept fighting and yelling. Hoping someone would hear me, but I realized no one was home. I kept yelling and one of the neighbors came over to see what was going on. He left me to answer the door and that’s when I called you guys and ran. You guys picked me up in front of some random person’s house because I didn’t want anything else to happen.”

I was now sobbing and Parker was holding me. He had pulled me from my seat into the drivers seat. “I was so scared the rest of the year and I didn’t know what to do. I thought it was all my fault.”

“Josylne Grace that boy was an asshole. You did nothing wrong, you are a strong and beautiful girl who ended up in a bad situation. He is a criminal who deserves to be behind bars and you deserve to but the filthy asshole there.”

“Parker I can’t do that.”

“Josylne, listen to me. You are the strongest girl I know. You are beautiful, smart, and talented. You deserve to know what safety feels like. You deserve to feel like a person and not a piece of meat like that asshole made you feel like. Let’s take one step at a time and at least tell authorities, we can leave your family out of it for now. I’m going to protect you okay?”

“Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

“I promise. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Daniels.”