Forgive Me

I leaned onto my legs with my elbows, sighing quietly. I never took a day off from school, now days, unless I had to.

“Hailee?” the elderly nursed called me, seeing as I was the only one in the waiting room.

I followed her into the back, allowing her to get my height and weight. I had gained two pounds, since my last visit, and that was a little panicky.

“The doctor will be right in, sweety,” she smiled warmly, stepping out and shutting the door behind her.

I hated doctor offices and appointments. They just seemed to always be filled with despair.

“Okay, what’s the matter, Hailee?” Dr. Crowe smiled warmly, as she opened the door and closed it behind her.

I explained to her about the test, symptoms and everything I thought was relevant to my visit.

Dr. Crowe nodded, “There’s an easy way we can tell, Hailee.”

I sat in the car, wiping my eyes. How was I going to raise a child alone? I mean, I did it with Adam, but I never had to raise him when he was a baby. He was practically old enough to raise himself, if he needed to.

My cell phone started to ring, and I picked it up, “Hello?”

“Hailee,” Alex’s voice rang like a soft, silver bell, “I miss you and your pretty face.”

“Oh, but not my personality?” I chuckled, trying to hide my emotions, “I see how it is, mister.”

“Oh, you totally ruined the moment,” Jack shouted from the background, and I immediately knew I was on speaker.

“Hey boys,” I laughed lightly, earning a ‘hi’ from the rest of them, “Alex, can I talk to you and only you?”

“Oh, sure, baby,” a click was heard that told me he switched it, “What’s going on?”

I closed my eyes tightly, gripping the steering wheel with my free hand; it was a good thing that I wasn’t driving.

To say in the least, I was petrified to tell him. I didn’t know how he would act, take it or anything. I didn’t even know if he wanted a child. Here I was, however, three and a half months pregnant and just beginning to show symptoms. How the hell was I going to tell him?

“What’s going on, Hails?” his voice was slightly panicked, as it raised a little, “Is Adam okay? Are you? Did something happen?”

I stuttered over my words, shaking my head although I knew he couldn’t see, “I-I’m pregnant, Alex; three months along.”

The line was silent, as I waited for his reply. He loved me, right? What if that love wasn’t enough to have a child with me? What if he wanted to wait until we were older?

“Like for real?” he sighed, and I could hear him push someone away.

“I just got out of the doctor appointment,” I wiped at my eyes again, “that’s how I found out its three and a half months along.”

“I wish I could be there for you, babes,” he sighed again.

Was he seriously okay with this, or was he just trying to be?