Forgive Me

I heaved a sigh, holding onto my stomach as another rippling pain shot through my stomach. Dr. Crowe (who had been helping me through this entire pregnancy) had tried to convince me that I wasn’t ready for the shot, but I didn’t believe them whatsoever.

“Hailee, aren’t you supposed to stay in bed?” Adam furrowed his brow, watching me pace the room.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to him at first, so I sort of gave him a weak smile. Adam had been in the hospital room with me for the last four hours, trying to give me some support. He had called Rian for me, after calling nine-one-one to get me an ambulance. He in fact was an awesome brother.

“No more medical shows for you,” I laughed, sitting down on the bed and closed me eyes.

The pain was overly intense—something I had never felt before.

“Hails, we’re here,” Rian burst in, along with Jack and Zack.

I waved reluctantly at the boys, throwing my head back in pain as another contraction approached. I knew that labor was painful, but you didn’t really get it until you had to go through it. I just wanted to continue praying that it wouldn’t get too late for the shot.

“Are you feeling okay?” Rian queried, sitting next to me and grasped my hand.

I squeezed his hand lightly, shaking my head, “I’m going to kill Alex when I see him for doing this to me.”

Jack snickered noisily, “All women say that in labor—at least on the television.”

I glowered at him for a split second, before I heard the door click. I glimpsed at it, hoping it was my nurse and Dr. Crowe, but was certainly taken back when my eyes fell upon those orbs I had forced myself to abhor. He was the last person I expected to see come through that door.

“Get out,” I murmured insensitively, squeezing Rian’s hand harder than anticipated, which forced him to whimper.

“Hailee, just let me talk, please,” Alex’s voice was shaky and hoarse.

“Why, so you can tell me that you made a mistake, should have never drunk in the first place and that you were a complete and utter dipshit? I guess it sucks for you that I’ve already thought about all of it.”

Despite trying so hard to keep my focus off of Alex, it didn’t work. Adam, Jack, Rian (surprisingly with the latch I had on his hand) and Zack had still managed to sneak out unnoticed. I wished they hadn’t, to be truthful because I didn’t want to be left alone with Alex at all.

“I was scared, Hailee. I had to find someway to fight the constant feeling that I was going to be a horrible dad.”

“Then you should have talked—” I winced, holding my stomach and whimpered, “Get my nurse, please.”

A few moments had passed and my nurse and Dr. Crowe barged into the room, ushering Alex to the sidelines.

“Hailee, you’re ready for the shot. We’re going to get that for you, and then get you going,” Dr. Crowe smiled warmly, before departing the room.

I nodded, resting my head back on the pillow. I closed my eyes, forgetting the fact that Alex was still awkwardly here. He was quiet enough to permit me to forget about him and the anger I had built up the past couple of months. Granted, it would have been easier to just ignore him, if he wasn’t as caring as he was—if he hadn’t rested his hand on top of mine.

“I’m sorry I did what I did. There’s no making it up to you, I get that. I just wish that I can do something for you,” he whispered, his eyes glossing over.

I watched his face, as the doctor and nurse reentered the room. It killed me to see him so upset, almost to the point where I’d forgive him. I guess it was too bad I couldn’t be won over that easily.

About a half hour had passed, and after I had thought about it, I told Alex he was allowed to stay in the room. Call me soft, but he was showing me that he was going to step up.

“You’re almost there, Hailee,” Dr. Crowe kept talking to me, smiling as the baby came closer.

Alex held onto my hand, whispering words of encouragement into my ear, which I loved.

“Alright, first one is a girl, Hailee,” Dr. Crowe beamed, handing her to a nurse, before dipping back down, “The other’s crowning. You’re doing great.”

I continued to push, forcing everything out of perspective to the point where I hadn’t even felt Alex leave my side and crash to the floor.

“Congratulations, mommy and daddy; a healthy baby girl and healthy baby boy.”

I smiled widely, throwing my head back against the pillow. It must’ve ‘slipped my mind’ to tell Alex he was having twins. Oops.

I opened my eyes, greeting the eyes of Rian and Jack. They hugged me lightly, whispering congratulations before turning to their sides. They exposed Alex holding our baby girl and Zack holding our baby boy.

“How are you feeling, sissy?” Adam smiled, holding up a ‘Congrats’ teddy bear.

“Better,” I hugged him, “Thank you, kiddo.”

The guys gawked over the babies, taking turns holding and cooing to them. It surprised me how easily they clicked with the kids already.

“What are their names?” Zack looked up at me, grinning.

I glanced at Alex for a moment, before the twins, “Aiden Joel and Adeline Rae,” I sat up a little, biting my lip, “Gaskarth.”

Each boy glanced at me, a bit wide eyed. In a sense, I figured they already saw it coming.

“Okay, boys, mommy needs her rest,” a nurse smiled at me, just as two others walked the twins to the nursery, “Alex, dear, you can stay the night, if you’d like.”

Before Alex could answer, I decided to do it for him, “He’ll just have to deal with the cot. I’m sure he’s slept on worse.”

Alex chuckled, shaking his head, “That I have.”

Once she had left the room, Rian and the others (along with Adam) gave me their hugs, kisses to the forehead before they left. The silence wasn’t as awkward as I had felt it was going to be, as well; it was exceedingly comfortable.

“Can I play something for you, Hails? It’s one of our ‘So Wrong’ songs, and I never told you this, but I wrote it for and about you.”

“Oh, sure,” I sat up a tiny bit more, smiling.

Alex sat down on the plastic, uncomfortable chair and pulled out his acoustic. He had brought it in with him, when he first showed up. He began playing the first couple of chords, and I immediately knew what song it was, “He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes; started making his way past two in the morning,” he continued, staring down at the wooden instrument.

I loved when Alex would sing, to be honest. It was so unique to human ear; it was ear candy (literally).

“And it’s driving me crazy, it seems. I'm going to ask her to marry me. The neighbors said she moved away; funny how it rained all day. I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense. Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever she may be,” he hummed a little, rocking his head.

I bit my lip, sucking in a breath, “I’m not coming back. I've done something so terrible; I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me,” I continued, whispering the words in a barely audible rhythm until I finished what was originally Juliet Simms’s part.

Alex looked up at me, setting his guitar down. He got to his feet, rushing over and crashed his lips against mine.