You're So Pretty On the Outside

*Kean*

Lee slammed the door behind us and I heard the door lock. I groaned and looked away from Nicholls as he sat down beside me. He gripped his forearms tightly. It was a habit he’d picked up on when he was nervous. I glanced up at his face to see him biting his lips as he stared at his hands.

I knew I’d have to start this conversation whether I wanted to or not. He would never admit defeat. I got up and stood before him, crossing my arms. He stared up at me, waiting for me to question him.

“What did I do?” I asked. He sighed.

“You called me a homophobe,” he sighed. “And you wouldn’t even let me defend myself.”

“Well it’s an understandable judgement, no?” I snapped. “You kind of freaked when I kissed your fucking cheek!”

“I’m not a homophobe, Matt, trust me,” he sighed, shaking his head. I rolled my eyes.

“Why should I fucking believe you?” I asked.

“Because you’ve known me for the past ten years and I have never made any
homophobic comments on anybody!” he retorted, looking up at me.

“That doesn’t mean a thing,” I replied. “It just means you know how to keep your mouth shut.”

“Are you kidding me?” he asked, rolling his eyes. “Do you want fucking proof or something?”

“How the fuck are you supposed to prove you’re not a homophobe?” I rolled my eyes.

He looked up at me and sighed, getting up. He leaned forward, crossing his arms as we stared each other down. He glanced down at my lips once before speaking again.

“How else?” he asked.

I jumped when I felt his lips press against mine. What the fuck?

I stayed still, completely shocked that he was doing this. He pulled away a few seconds later, leaving me breathless and my lips tingling. I stared at him wide eyed as he sighed.

“Proof enough?” he snapped. I was speechless.

“Y-you j-just...” I stuttered, shocked. What the fuck? I thought he was straight?!

I couldn’t stay near him anymore. I had to get away from him. I had to think. So I ran. I ran as fast and far away as I could. I made it to the park and moved into the forest slowly. I slid down to the ground and looked up at the canvas of tree tops above.

My lips still tingled. My heart raced for more reasons than exertion. My brain was frenzied as I tried to understand what had just happened. I was positive Nicholls wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be! I mean, he’s had so many serious relationships with girls! He never once tried a guy! What’s going on?

Is he messing with me? Does he know my secret? Is he trying to hurt me? Oh, God! He kissed me! He fucking kissed me! Me!

I groaned and hit my head against the tree trunk before me, getting frustrated. He was so fucking confusing! Why the fuck did he have to kiss me? God, he’s fucking teasing me and I know it!

“Kean!” I heard him shout. I jumped a foot off the ground. Shit!

I tried to move deeper into the forest but he’d seen me already and caught my arm before I could get far. I groaned and tried yanking my arm away, not wanting him to do something else.

“Matt! Wait, let me explain! Please,” he begged, holding my arm firmly.

I struggled some more, not wanting to hear him out. I didn’t want to know if he knew my secret. I didn’t want to talk to him yet. Finally getting frustrated, he spun me around and slipped his arms firmly around my waist, pulling me up against his front. I gasped as he leaned in again, his lips colliding with my gently.

I tried fighting back but gave up. I already knew I wanted it. There was no point fighting him. I kissed back for about ten seconds before we broke off and he gave me a firm stare.

“Will you please listen to me now?” he asked. I stared at him, utterly speechless.

“Listen to me, okay?” he repeated. I nodded, finally capable of some form of communication.

He sat down, pulling me down with him. He dragged me down onto his lap and kept his arms around me firmly. My cheeks darkened, my head leaning forward to hide them with my hair. He sighed and gripped my chin, turning my face to him.

“Listen, I’m bi,” he explained. I gawked at him, my eyes bugging out of my skull.

“What?!” I shrieked.

“I’m bi,” he repeated. “You called me a homophobe and it insulted me; badly at that.”

“But...” I frowned. “Then when I...”

He blushed and cleared his throat, focusing on my shoulder. I waited patiently, wanting him to continue talking. He glanced up and opened his mouth for a second before closing it and reopening it three times. I laughed at his expression, making him frown.

“What?” he asked.

“You looked like a fish just there,” I replied, giggling.

I blushed and clamped my hands over my mouth to keep the giggles at bay but it failed. His
jaw dropped and he stared at me, a smirk spreading over his features.

“Did you just giggle?” he smirked. I blushed.

“No!” I replied. He chuckled.

“You’re blushing! There’s no way I’ll believe that one!” he grinned. “You just giggled!”

“Shut up!” I snapped at him angrily. He kept the grin in place. “But really, why did you freak
out so badly when I kissed you? I mean, if you’re bi it shouldn’t be a problem?”

His face fell and he cleared his throat, looking away awkwardly. I felt my heart pick up when I felt his hands fiddle around with the hem of my shirt. I bit my lip and tried to ignore it and keep a bit of space between us. I really wanted to know why though.

“Er... well I...” he trailed off.

*Nicholls*

How am I supposed to tell him the real reason? There’s no way he’ll return it! Shit, is he
even gay?

“A-are you str-straight?” I blushed, glancing up at him. He blushed again.

“U-um... n-no,” he replied. I felt a weight lift off me.

“Seriously?” I exclaimed, excited. He blushed.

“I’m g-gay,” he stammered. “Girls just don’t attract me like that.”

I smiled. Maybe I do have a chance after all.

“You still didn’t answer my earlier question,” he reminded. He looked up.

“Huh?” I asked. I was hoping he’d forgotten.

“Why did you react like that?”

I groaned. “God, do I have to answer?”

“Yes,” he replied, crossing his arms.

“Okay, fine fuck,” I grumbled, falling silent. He raised a brow.

“Well?” he asked.

“I l-li...” I trailed off nervously, ringing my hands in his lap.

“God, Nicholls just spit it out already!” he sighed.

*Kean*

My hopes were rising the closer he got to telling me what was up. He was driving me insane by not speaking though. I groaned softly.

“What is it?” I asked. He sighed.

“Okay, just calm down,” he breathed, talking to himself. “You could do this!”

I waited patiently, wanting to hear what he had to say. Finally he looked up and spoke. My heart stopped at his words.

“I like you.”