Please Just Let Me Go

Jacob's Point Of View
For the last two days I have staying locked up in my room. For the first time this isn't about Bella. It's about me. I don't understand what the hell is going on with me. I stared blankly up at my ceiling then sat up and rested me elbows on my knees and held my hair.
I love Bella. I waited for a feeling to consume me the fluttery feeling that I always got in my gut when I thought about her but, it didn't come. I felt a small headache forming and I groaned softly to myself. That girl, Teresa. I barely know her and now...I suddenly have her on my mind, all the time.
I felt like calling her just to hear her voice. I reached for my cell phone which was on the floor next to a pair of jeans. Then I stopped, my head it still not clear. If i call her now I'll just make an idiot out of myself. I sighed again. This is probably how chicks feel when there hung-over a guy, I'll never call a girl a drama queen again.
Is it safe to stop my progress with Bella though? I know that I'm close, So close to making her mine. She's almost over that bloodsucker if I just. I stopped mid thought My chest panged and my heart sped up I could hear it in my ears. I can't stop questioning myself. I'm fighting the animal in me with the human...who's going to win this fight? I stood up and started pacing.
The wolf thing it always had to interfere I felt a wave of heat rush over my body. The familiar feeling that I was about to phase. My shoulders trembled violently. I took in deep breaths from my mouth and exhaled through my nose. I stopped pacing and ran a hand down face. Billy would kill me if I wrecked my room.
Finally the trembling stopped and my breathing slowed. This is who I am I reminded myself again. There's no getting out of it, well without dying or whatever. Where will I go if I die anyways? Heaven or Hell? All dogs go to heaven right? I laughed to myself and caught my reflection in the mirror. Slowly my smile melted away.
I'm going to stop resisting who I am. That means giving in to Imprinting. The legends never said I had to love her. Whatever happens,happens. If I find my soul mate on the way,even better.
I scanned my room again wanting to call her again. I stopped myself again. I should let her call me, I do have her car in my possession, and I want to avoid as many situation that might make her think I'm a weirdo. A knock on the door startled me.
"Jake...You've been cooped up in there for 2 days it's time for you to get out." My dad's voice sounded muffled from behind the door but I heard him clearly. I slowly looked away from my reflection and cleared my throat.
"I'm coming." I mumble I walk toward the door and and open it up. My dad took a look at me before he rolled of to the kitchen.
"Do you want me to make us breakfast?" I called out to him. I heard the familiar rolling of his wheelchair coming toward me. When he rolled into the room he stared at me with those dark eyes studying me. I looked away from his heavy gaze.
"You alright Jake?" he questioned
"Fine." I even added a smile but I think that even made it worse because he started at me a little longer then rolled away. I sighed again then walked into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and pulled out some eggs. I looked for some bacon, but of course there wasn't any left. So I decided on pancakes.
I got my ingredients together and started mixing them together. I pulled out a pan,turned on the stove and started pouring the mix into the hot pan. How does imprinting work? I asked myself as I waited for the side of the pancake to cook. Isn't she suppose to love me immediately she seemed like she really disliked me. Well I don't love her either so... She wouldn't even call me by my name, that one really irritated me. I want badly to figure her out.
She looked complicated. I wanted to make whatever was making her so closed off to go away so that way I could be there. I heard an annoying low buzzing but ignored it. I remembered back to the when we met. She wrecked my car, and for some reason I wasn't mad. I winced thinking about my poor Rabbit though, it still hurts a little. I just wanted to make sure she was alright after I saw her face. I heard the buzzing again and realized it as my phone.
I dropped the spatula in my hand on the counter and made a run for my room before my phone could stop ringing. It could be her! When I got there I dived for my phone on the floor. I was to late though. I counted to 10 and redialed her number.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring. Where they hell did she go in 20 seconds? I thought to myself
"Hello?" I heard her familiar voice say. Immediately butterflies rose in my stomach and my throat felt all dry. I cleared my throat.
'Hey Teddy, it's Jake. Sorry I missed your call I was making breakfast." I propped myself up on my elbows away from a weird smelling pair of socks.
I heard Seth's voice in the back round and the television playing.
"It's okay...I was just wondering if maybe today we can work on the cars?" her voice sounded soft as I listened
"What,cars?" Seth asked in a medium loud voice.
"Shut up!" Teddy she shouted. I was taken aback at how loud she has risen her voice.
"Ow! Was it really necessary to kick me?" Seth shouted
"Yes! Now shut up."
I tried my best to hold back laughter.
"What happened?' I asked
"My mom still doesn't know about the whole car incident." She spoke in original soft voice. I chuckled softly.
"Not funny." she said
"Yeah it's defiantly not." I said sarcastically
"When do you want me to come over?" she sounded as if she wanted to get down to business.
I removed the phone from my ear and sat up then glanced at the time. It was 11:38.
"How about 4?" I asked
"Mmhmm." She said in a agreement "Cool."
"Do you need a ride?" A part of me was hoping it was a yes...stupid imprinting. My heart pounded in my chest. It was quiet as I waited for her to respond.
"Yeah I do."
"I'll come get you."
"I never-...fine." she huffed. I smiled to myself
"I'll see you soon then Teddy."
"Uhuh." Then she hung up. I shut the phone and closed my eyes and lay down on the floor. MY head rested on a sneaker but I didn't care. I felt anxious for some reason. This felt important and I just really wanted to see her and be with her. I sighed this whole imprinting thing is going to be hard. I thought about her conversation and it made my gut jump around like I just jumped off a cliff.
Then I smelt something burning. Shit, the pancakes I thought. I stood and at the same moment the fire alarm went off. I ran into the kitchen and pulled the pan with the burning pancake of the stove. Smoke englufed the room and burned my eyes. I dropped the pan in the sink and turned on the faucet.
When heard the satisfying sizzling I relaxed. I turned of the faucet and leaned against the sink. The alarm stop screaming.
Billy rolled in and eyed the room. Then he looked at me and the egg shells and pancake mix on the counter.
"I wasn't that hungry anyways." Then he rolled out,leaving me to clean my mess.