Please Just Let Me Go

Text Messages: Between Lucas and Teddy.

　

Guess who has a boyfriend? Told you I wasn't a lesbian.

Haha, very funny. It's okay if you are... I'll still love you the same :D

I'm serious dude! ON DEAD RABBITS I'm serious!

------

I waited patiently for him to reply .Dead rabbits. This is our term we use when we meant we were serious. This is because once when we were younger we were playing outside Lucas claimed he saw a dead rabbit. I was inside being patched up by Mom because I had scraped my knee when Lucas comes running inside my house saying he saw a dead rabbit. Of course me being stubborn Teddy didn't believe him. So he took my hand and started dragging me through the woods to show me the "dead rabbit". The whole way there we argued "There is a dead rabbit! I saw it." "Is not." I responded. Basic child arguing. So when we finally got to our destination there in plain sight was a dead rabbit with all it's glory sprawled across the forest ground.

My phone vibrated in my lap. I looked at the screen expecting a text message but, I was receiving a call from Lucas. Before I even had a chance to say hello he was speaking.

"On dead rabbits? You are serious!"

"Just like I said." I absentmindedly looked down at my fingernails.

'And how much is he paying you?"

My mouth dropped slightly and my lips curved into a grin.

"Shut up you ass wipe." I paused lowering my voice. " I actually really like him."

It was silent on the line for a moment.

"I just wasn't expecting that, you know considering.. I really thought that had changed your mind."

I tried my very best to not think hard about what he said. I had grown a really hard shell over that part of my life these past weeks, and I'm not going to let one comment crack that shell. I managed a real smile even though he couldn't see me and it didn't matter. It kind of heart though remembering back to when I made that promise. Lucas cleared his throat on the other line.

"Yes! This is what I want for you Ted. Don't get me wrong I just don't want you rushing into anything. Coz' you know ....I care about you."

I blushed despite the fact that it was just Lucas but I still managed a normal tone of voice though.

"Shut up you Pansy!...I love you too."

Lucas busted out laughing on the other line and as I waited for him to regain his composure I actually joined in with him too. I wiped the tears at the corner of my eyes that managed to slip out.

"I will always love you. My little pessimist."

After a couple more hours of us talking I said goodnight and I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up and took a cold shower and got dress. I am currently sitting on my bed with my legs against the bed frame looking up at the ceiling. There was absolutely nothing to do. This boredom was actually brought on to myself.

I really didn't want anything to do with Kim since she's always with that her stupid boyfriend. Until I got an apology I wouldn't be talking to him. I sighed and rub my eyes feeling slightly tired even though I had just woken up about 4 hours ago. It was about 1 o'clock and I still needed to wait a while until I met up with Black. I am not looking forward to that.

I fiddled with my fingers and searched for a pattern in the ceiling. I heard my door open and quickly tilted my head to glare and the intruder. I rolled my eyes at a shirtless Seth as he walked into my bedroom. I looked away from him and felt his weight flop down causing the bed the tilt down and my head to no longer felt comfortable.

"I could have been naked." I mumbled as I continued my pattern searching task.

"Yeah but you aren't." he said. I glanced over at him to give him a glare. But he was staring up at the ceiling. I rolled my eyes again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I started to sit up and stared at him.

I'm hungry."

"And what do you want me to do about that?"

"Feed me?" He looked at my and gave me a Seth Grin that radiated happiness into me. I looked away from him.

"Do I look like your mother?" I asked as I crossed my arms around my chest and tried to fight off a smile.

"No, but you look like someone that can cook."

"Because I'm a girl?"

"I never said that." Seth was now speaking in a whiny voice.

'Please Teddy? Please?"

I sighed. " How much am I going to be paid?" I asked reluctantly as I stood and stretched. Seth cheered

"I'll pay you in hugs." I grinned. "I'll do it for free." Seth bounced up and down on my bed. Then he aburptly stopped like someone hit him.

"I'm offended." he said as he stood. "Do you have to be so mean to your favorite cousin?"

"Yes it's necessary especially since your favorite cousin -I paused adding bunny ears around favorite cousin- Is annoying. You can't just leave me alone in peace." I rubbed my forehead.

"I'm actually helping you. I'm helping you get out off my room and feel the light." he said nudging me with his elbow.

"I'm going to suppose your the light?"

"I also didn't say that but if you say so." He grinned even harder and shrugged.

"Well if you are the light, I don't want to touch you." I watched Seth's expression change into a pout.

I put my hand on his back and started to lead him out of the room. His warmth radiated into my palm.

"Let get out of here your ruining my aura."

*

The time for me usually make breakfast for two was doubled. It took 40 long minutes to finally get food on the table because Seth insisted on helping, or should I say ruin everything he touched. I was going to make lunch; a couple simple sandwiches and fries. But Seth insisted until I made breakfast. I finished my portion of the meal and went to the sink and washed them.

Seth followed my actions but didn't wash them. The small journey to the sink consisted of numerous belches. I couldn't help but laugh. I laugh as I watch the dishes in the sink pile up.

"Aren't you going to help with the dishes?" Seth asked not even looking at me.

"I think not." I ran a hand through my hair and turned to leave the kitchen and bumped into my Mom.

"Crap I'm going to be late." She muttered instead of an apology. I got out of her way before she could knock me to the floor. She was attempting to run a comb through her hair and pull on a boot. I shook my head as I watched the scene unravel. When she got the shoe on the exchanged the comb for a bagel and put it in her mouth then she fled the house.

"Wow." both Seth and I muttered. My lips stretched into a thin line. Seth laughed. I glanced at him and sighed.

"Well I'm going to go and do other things that don't concern you, so bye." I waved a the boy and started to head to my room.

"Teresa! Ven aqui! (Come here)" I heard my Mother's voice shout. My heart sped up it's been a while since I have spoken Spanish. I looked over at Seth and he shrugged his shoulders at me. I began walking toward the living room were I believed she was located. When I entered the living room my mother stood impatiently in the doorway waiting. She always ended up reverting back to spanish when she was angry or nervous.

"Vamanos Teresa, Yo ya estoy tarde (Let's go..I'm already late)."

"¿Por qué me necesitas ( Why do you need me)?" Even though I haven't spoken in this tongue in a while it still came to me like nothing. I felt the cold air from outside bite at me.

"Te echo de menos.Venga a acompañarme en mi camino al trabajo.(I miss you.Come and join me on my way to work)."

I looked at the pleading look on her face she looked sincere. I also missed her a lot, it seemed like she was never home. I just wasn't looking foward to what we would talk about though. Stupid Paul...

"Pero-(But)"

"Vamanos. (Let's go)" She said harshy making me flinch. I rolled my eyes and followed her out the house.

I walked out in to the ice cold air. Okay, it's not that cold but I'm really not use to the weather here it sucks. I ran over to her car with my arms wrapped around my chest. It was silent for a while as she drove out of the driveway. I kept my eyes glued to the window, afraid they would give off something my mom could use to start a conversation. About 5 minutes past and nothing was said.

If we kept this up she would be at work and I wouldn't have to talk about anything. Mom worked a a bookstore down in Port Angeles. She use to work as a nurse back in Texas but, I don't know if she's looking for a job as a nurse up here.

　

"So how have you been Peluche (Teddy) I miss you?" I slowly looked over at her she has calmed down and reverted into using Spanglish instead.

'I"m good Mami." I said. My Mother never made small talk unless she wanted to talk about something important. It was quiet again and my stomach flipped in my stomach.

"Listen, I want to move." I looked over at her quickly and squinted at her.

"What! Why?" What about Seth? And Paul? And Sue, and Kim? My mother smiled like she was happy I was upset. I was just getting comfortable here. And look, I have grown attachments to these people. I thought sarcasticlly I felt a warm feeling in my chest and I managed a small smile. I'm going to miss Seth the most.

"Not out of Washington but out off Sue's home. I feel like I'm burdening them. I would feel better if we were on our on. It's been a while and it's time for us to get back on feet. Don't you think?" She glanced over at me and gave me a questioning look.

I nodded in agreement. The house was way to small for all of us to fit in it. I already ran into the problems of this too small house. I really do not want to see Seth naked again.

"How are we going to pay for it all?" The thought struck me like a brick to the head. We were broke...like really out off money. It's a horrible feeling. And it was all that poor excuse for a Father's fault...I exhaled as I felt a a strong wave of anger, hate and despair fall over me. All at once all these emotions came crashing down. I was so anxious.

"I can get a job, to help with the expenses." Then I thought about the stupid car. I started to shake a bit. My mother nervously looked away from the road and laid a hand on my thigh.

"It's okay mija (daughter). I have some money saved up. Plus, I applied for a job as a nurse down in Forks."

I didn't feel relieved however. My heart pounded sofrly in my chest.

"Really?" I questioned as my fingers tightened around the seat belt.

"Yes baby!" It will all be fine." She patted my thigh and removed it and placed it on the sterring wheel.

"Maybe I can take your old job at the bookstore." I said thoughtfully

"That's a great idea. I'll put in a good word for you." It was quiet for a moment and I let what just happen sink in. I licked my lips and removed my fingers from the seatbelt and flexed them.

"Have you told Sue yet?" I asked wearwilly I knew Sue would have a fit once she heard about this.

"Nope and I don't plan on it until we have an apartment. I can already hear her telling me she knows some people that can help us find a place. OR worse telling us that we can stay and it's no problem."

We laughed cheerfully. I looked over at her and smiled and leaned over and kissed her cheek. She looked over at me and grinned.

"What was that for?" she asked taking her eyes off the road for a moment.

"I just miss you." I said truthfully.

"Aw." My mother cooed. I rolled my eyes at her childness and smiled.

"Te amo ( I love you) Teddy."

"I love you too Mom." I said smiling. We were about 5 minutes away from the bookstore.

"So this boyfriend of yours." My mother suddenly said randomly.

'Ugh! I don't want to talk about this."

"Well you are."

"How old is he?"

I sighed. "He's 17 Mom."

"And is he a working man?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know."

"I mean I don't know we just...started going out Ma!" I threw my hands up in the air and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I refused to look at her.

"Is he treating you right?...Because you know I won't allow him to treat you badly. Just because I let-"

"Yes Mama! He's treating me good." I interrupted.I really didn't need to hear this.

"Is he a good kisser?" I slowly turned my head to look at her giving her a Did--you-really-just-say-that- face. She had a smug expression on her face as she stared out into the open road. The she burst out laughing. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"How do you even know we kissed?" I said as my ears burned off in embarrassment.

"Oh I know. Mama sees all."

"Oh brother." I said as I connected my head with the window.

　

*

　

I drove back home in silence with my Mom's car. I had stayed at the bookstore for about and hour. I put on a really cute and sweet girl act so the owner would love me. It actually wasn't that hard. Lying is like breathing to me. I neatly parked the car in the driveway and jumped out. Only because I'm short and the ground seemed like it was 20 feet down. I shut the door behind me and pressed the remote.

I was satisfied when I heard the beep and I began to jog toward the house. I felt a hand grip my forearm and I froze.

"Guess who?" The hands quickly covered my eyes and almost immediatly I started to fight them off.