I Can Transform You

POV: Gerard

Frank seemed to disappear off the face of the earth half way through school. He never came to English, but I was grateful for that because I didn’t want to talk to him. He’s an asshole.

After school, I went straight home, hoping he wouldn’t be there either. And thankfully, he wasn’t. However, I was greeted by someone else who was not welcome on my doorstep.

“Gerard!” Matty exclaimed, acting all pleased to see me. I say acting, because I could totally see through him. I know he hates me really. He’s so transparent.

“What do you want?” I asked gruffly, getting my key out and unlocking my front door.

“That’s not a nice greeting now, is it?” He smirked, but I could tell he was actually highly irritated by my failure to greet him nicely.

“That’s because I don’t want to see you,” I retorted flatly, pushing my front door open and walking into my house.

I was past caring about staying on good terms with Matty. He’s just a dickhead and I have no time for him anymore. I’ve given up trying to be popular. Frank hates me now, so it’s a lost cause.

I tried to slam my door shut behind me, but Matty stuck his foot in the way and then forced it open.

“Well, I don’t want to see you either, but I’m still coming into your fucking house, because Frank invited me round,” he snapped short-temperedly, pushing his way past me to get inside.

Ah, now here’s the real Matty. So nice of him to make an appearance…

We stood facing eachother heatedly in my hallway.

“Frank wouldn’t have done that if he knew what a fucking liar you are,” I growled, narrowing my eyes at him.

Anger flashed behind Matty’s eyes. I almost expected him to punch me for calling him a fucking liar, but he somehow managed to control himself. (Quite a miracle considering he has serious anger issues.)

“Watch your mouth,” he warned me, pointing a finger at me threateningly.

I rolled my eyes at him. It’s kind of funny how he thinks I’m actually scared of him. I never was and I never will be.

“No, it’s true. I never slept with Laura and you know it,” I spat, folding my arms.

Matty just started laughing at me then.

“Of course you never slept with her. As if a girl would ever want to fuck you!”

Wrong. Laura most certainly did want to fuck me. I was the one who turned her down, thank you very much.

“So, why did you tell Frank I did?” I demanded, ignoring his remark completely. “Could you not handle me and him being friends?”

He blatantly just wanted to make Frank angry with me. And it worked, damn it!

“You two aren’t friends,” he scoffed, amusement in his eyes. “I was just making sure Frank still knew that.”

“Whatever. I never wanted to be his friend anyway,” I shrugged, trying to sound convincing.

The truth is, part of me did want to be friends with him. Even though me hanging around with him was all part of an evil masterplan, I actually kind of had fun with him. I saw a different side to him that I liked. And I definitely preferred him talking to me and being nice instead of kicking me in the face...

But I’ll get over it.

“Nah, you just wanted to suck his cock,” Matty sneered, doing a hand gesture against his mouth and then laughing to himself.

Quite the contrary, actually.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. “Fuck off.”

“I don’t see you denying it, fag,” Matty replied, looking angry with me for swearing dismissively at him.

What’s the point? If I denied it, he’d call me a liar.

“That’s because I don’t have to prove myself to you,” I retorted flatly, looking him up and down with a look of disgust. “Now just get out of my house.”

He took a step closer to me, towering over me with a menacing look in his eye. I stood my ground; I didn’t cower away or take a step back.

“This isn’t just your house anymore, princess,” he spoke in a threatening tone. “Frank lives here too now, and him and I are practically family. My house is his second home, so really, if you think about it, this is my second home.”

I’ll be damned if this house is a home for Frank and Matty. I will actually move out on the streets.

I said nothing. What could I say to that? If I retaliated the arguing would go on forever, and I didn’t want to keep talking to him.

I just stared at him with complete and utter hatred for a moment, before exhaling loudly and turning my back on him and storming up the stairs to my bedroom, leaving him staring after me.

But of course, being the shithead that he is, he didn’t just stay there staring after me. He followed me right up to my room.

I stopped outside my bedroom door and turned around to see him standing there right behind me.

“What the fuck do you want, Matty? If you want to beat me up then just get it over with,” I snapped, losing my patience with him.

Quit trying to intimidate me in my own fucking house!

“Why would I beat you up here?” He asked flatly, his eyes scanning the upstairs landing in my house. “There’s not even anyone around to see me do it.”

I raised my eyebrows at this.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you need an audience? Shall I call my Dad to come home? Or my brother? Frank’s mum too?” I suggested sarcastically.

He looked pretty taken aback by my attitude and quick responses, because it was something he had never heard before in six years of bullying me. He didn’t seem to have a witty comeback, or any comeback at all, to my exaggerated sarcasm. His mouth was half-open in shock, it seemed, but no words were coming out.

I seized my chance to slip away with his lack of response and opened my bedroom door and walked inside, slamming it hard behind me and hoping he would get the message to stay out.

But no such luck. The loud noise must have awoken the beast because only a mere few seconds later, the door was being shoved open and he intruded on my room. He kicked the door closed behind him, locking us both inside.

“Oh for fuck sake, leave me alone!” I shouted, something snapping inside of me.

In a moment of anger I just picked up the first thing my hands found on my desk, without even looking at what it was, and threw it in Matty’s direction. I just wanted to make a point. The point being, get out.

Annoyingly, Matty caught the object and didn’t get knocked out by it. He glared at me with venomous eyes, before dropping his gaze to what he held in his hand.

And that was when I realised I had made a very fatal mistake.

No, not because I had angered the beast... But because I had practically handed over to him a book filled with my deepest and darkest secrets.

My diary.

Oh dear God... How could I have been so stupid?! Why would I even be careless enough to leave it lying around on my desk in the first-

Wait... But I always leave it under my bed… Why was it on my desk? I didn’t put it there!

I was very confused, but I didn’t have time to listen to the frantic thoughts in my head. I needed to think of a solution out of this rather unfortunate situation. I couldn’t let Matty see inside that diary.

“Well, well, well,” Matty grinned, still looking down curiously at the book that said ‘My Diary’ on the front. (Damn it, it’s not even discrete about what it is!) “This looks like it would be a very interesting read.”

My mouth was dry and my mind was blank. I couldn’t even think of an excuse. I couldn’t unfreeze my body and go and snatch the book back. There was nothing I could do to help myself. I was screwed.

And then, suddenly, in classic superhero timing, my bedroom door swung open once more and in walked Frank. His entrance made Matty and I jump, turning our attention to the doorway that he was now occupying.

His arrival made the tension in the room drop considerably. However, I was still very on edge. I didn’t know whether to be relieved he was home or not. I knew he was angry with me, therefore he would probably find it funny to read my diary with Matty. My heart sank at the thought alone. I didn’t want anyone knowing what I’d written in that journal, let alone the two people that hate me most.

Frank looked from my face, which was a picture of horror, to Matty, who initially just looked irritated at the interruption, until he realised it was Frank, and then his face lit up.

“Oh, it’s you!” He exclaimed.

Frank continued to look between Matty and I with a very confused expression, clearly wondering what the fuck he had just walked in on. Then, his eyes suddenly lingered on my diary in Matty’s hands.

Matty saw him eyeing it up and decided to explain with a triumphant declaration.

“I’ve got his diary!” He grinned.

Frank just stared at Matty with furrowed eyebrows, not returning the grin, before darting his eyes over to me again. He analysed my horrified face and I gave him my most desperate, pleading look. I held my breath as he turned his attention back to Matty.

“That’s mine,” he stated flatly, extending a hand to Matty. “Give it here.”

My jaw dropped in surprise at Frank’s reaction. I was definitely not expecting him to help me out of this mess I’d created.

Matty made no attempt to give him the diary. He narrowed his eyes at him and then turned his focus on me. I quickly adjusted my expression to a pokerface, trying not to give anything away.

Frank was clearly already in a bad mood. His patience was so thin that he ended up just snatching the diary out of his best friend’s hand.

“But... What?” Matty demanded, his face falling and his eyes continuing to dart between Frank and I. “But… He… I… You have a fucking diary? What are you, a nine year-old girl?!”

He started laughing then. Frank didn’t look the slightest bit amused; he just stood there and glared at Matty.

I felt extremely confused. Was I missing something here? Was the diary really Frank’s? ...Or was he just protecting me? Because he was doing a very convincing job of it…

There was an extended awkward silence in the room and I wanted to break it, but I had no idea what to say. Then, suddenly, Frank turned his focus on me again. This time his expression softened. I could practically see the anger leave his eyes when they locked with my confused ones.

“By the way, Gerard,” he began slowly, wandering away from the doorway and over to his bed.

He kept his eyes on me, but my eyes followed the diary in his hand as he dropped it on his pillow. I wanted to snatch it off of him, but I knew that would totally ruin his cover-up for me.

“I’m really sorry I shouted at you earlier,” he apologised randomly, catching me way off-guard. “I know the truth now and I realise I should have just believed you in the first place.”

Oh...kay. Well, that was unexpected. How did he find out the truth?!

“Oh, uh… It’s okay,” I accepted his apology awkwardly. If he had chosen to apologise at any other time when he hadn’t just saved my ass, I’d probably be less forgiving. I was also well aware of the fact that he could still turn against me and reveal my secrets at any moment.

“Hang on… What the fuck?” Matty suddenly piped up, causing Frank to turn to face him.

“Yeah, I know you lied. Laura told me,” he revealed, folding his arms and looking at Matty in anger. “What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Matty looked very caught off-guard again. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, hesitating, thinking of an excuse.

“Pfft, I was just messing around,” he eventually decided to go for, forcing a smirk. "I never thought you'd take it so seriously!"

You've got to be kidding me!

Frank frowned at him, his face still rigid.

Matty snorted. “You were so mad!”

Frank sighed, dropping his arms to his sides and rolling his eyes.
“You’re such a dick,” he declared half-heartedly. “Don’t fucking do that again.”

Neither of them noticed me roll my eyes. I was frustrated that Frank was just letting Matty off the hook like that for lying to him, but I said nothing. I planned on having a word with him later about it.

“I don’t know why it got you so worked up, really,” Matty shrugged, amusement in his eyes. “Do you still fancy your ex-girlfriend or something?”

Um, I'm pretty sure Frank hates Laura.

“No, I fancy my current girlfriend, thank you very much,” Frank corrected sharply.

Yeah, so does Matty…

I watched Matty very closely to see his reaction to Frank’s words, and I swear to God, his eyes darkened. He looked at Frank with burning jealousy. I could see it all too clearly.

Frank, however, was completely blind to it, of course. He continued talking obliviously: “Speaking of Lydia, she’s acting really weird at the moment…”

That’s because she’s fucking your best friend.

“She is actually refusing to see me. Do you have any idea what’s going on with her?” Frank enquired naively, looking confused and rather sad.

Again, I narrowed my eyes at Matty suspiciously, analysing his reaction. He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to look Frank in the eye, and rubbed his neck awkwardly. It was written all over his guilty expression and uncomfortable posture.

“Uh, no… No idea,” He mumbled, then he looked up again, but his eyes didn’t stay fixed on one thing for longer than a few seconds at a time.

There was a brief silence that was so awkward I wanted to kill myself, and then suddenly, Matty spoke again.

“I just remembered, I… I have to be somewhere.” He was already backing away from Frank and his questioning eyes.

I was so tempted to interrupt the conversation at this point and just accuse Matty of sleeping with Lydia. It was pissing me off how he was just getting away with it and taking Frank for a fool. But I knew empty accusations now wouldn't get me anywhere. I needed to pick the right time to reveal Matty for the fraud he really was.

Frank raised his eyebrows at his best friend, clearly a little surprised by his sudden change of mood. “Where do you have to be?” He demanded pryingly.

“Home… My mum’s not very well,” Matty lied through his teeth, taking a few more steps towards the door.

I just knew he was actually going round to see Lydia.

“Oh… Well, I hope she gets better soon,” Frank replied caringly.

Frank has too much fucking trust in Matty to think for one second he is screwing him over here. Even though he's so frustratingly oblivious, I did feel sorry for him; he had such a fuck-up of a best friend and girlfriend.

“See you later, man,” he said to Matty, who just mumbled something inaudible in reply as he left and pulled the bedroom door almost closed behind him.

I let out a sigh of both frustration and relief. Frustration that he has Frank wrapped around his little finger, and relief that he had finally gone. Now it was just me and Frank left in the room alone. I was glad to have him all to myself because we had a lot that needed to be discussed…