It's Not Faith

Matt watched and smiled as he watched his daughter and his mother talk on the couch. He smiled, remembering Leila's words. I never got to meet my mom's mom. Maybe this would help Leila get more comfortable with her new life here. Laughter erupted from the couch as the older lady wrapper her arms around Leila.
"well, Matt, I better get going." His mother said, standing up. Matt watched Leila hug his mother and he felt the tears stinging his eyes. It was something so small; but for him, it meant they were finally a family. His daughter, himself, and his mother. A line of Sanders that couldn't be broken. He walked his mother out to her car, and Leila & him waved.

"Sooo, can I go?" Leila asked, a smirk playing on her lips.
Matt had been dreading answering this question. When Leila and Jimmy got to the studio,Leila Jimmy had informed him that Leila had been invited to a party by their neighbour, Kyle. He knew Kyle's mother vaguely; she was a nice women, she would wave at him when they would see each other, and when he first moved into the neighbourhood she brought him a plant and some cookies. The family seemed nice enough, but he was still a little leery.
"Can I?" Leila said again, impatiently.
"I don't know, Le. I mean you don't really-"
"Dad. Seriously?"
"Okay..Fine. But I have to pick you up."
Leila smiled, and ran upstairs. "Thanks Dad, you're fucking amazing."
Matt sighed and sat at the kitchen table. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to do this.

Leila was standing in front of her closet; trying to find an outfit. She had texted Kyle; he would come and get her at eight and they would walk together. Leila began to rifle through her clothes, pulling out shorts, skirts, tops and dresses. She wasn't too sure what look to go for. She heard the front door open close, and she knew that finally, another women had entered. Val's voice carried through the house, and before Matt could reply, Leila was downstairs, standing in a bra and a skirt.
"You gotta help me!"
Val laughed at the state of Leila, and nodded.
"Matt, I'm upstairs with Le!"
A mumble was Val's reply, and she rolled her eyes as she followed Leila up the stairs.

"Usually, I go for the clubbing look. I usually go to clubs-"
"Yeah, I heard all about that, Leana has told me!" Val said, laughing.
Leila smiled. "But Kyle was kinda like me, so I don't know if it's like-"
"A more rock party, or slutty party, or clubbing party. I get you Hun, don't worry." Val replied, as she started to go through Leila's clothes.
"Here, try this with the black and white skirt. It's kinda a cute clubbing vibe but also with an artsy tone to it."
"Oh Jesus Val, you rock." Leila replied, as she pulled the black lace top on. "My mom was never good with fashion, so I was usually on my own for this!"
Val laughed. "There. You look great!" Val cried.
Leila turned and looked in the mirror. She didn't like it as much as Val did, that was sure. She felt her hips stuck out to much and she looked fat. She tugged on the shirt, added a belt, and threw on a black short cardigan, and felt a little better.
Leila finished applying her make-up, and Val sat on her bed.
"Uhm, I just wanna let you know...that I don't want to replace you mother. I want you to like me for who I am, not what I'm trying to fill. I know you haven't had the best relationship with your mom, but we both know you love her very much." Val said.
"Thank you, so much. I mean, you didn't have to accept me. But you did, so thank you, Val, you've been amazing to me." Leila replied softly.
Val smiled.
"C'mom, let's go downstairs and show you dad...and then convince him not to make you change!" Val said, laughing.
Leila laughed, and followed Val out of them room.

"You look really cute tonight!" Kyle shouted over the loud music. Kyle and her had walked over to the party, about two blocks over. Matt had stared at Kyle long and hard, making Leila very embarrassed. She was to call her father at one thirty, and he would come and pick her up. The party was already over flowing as the two arrived. Kyle had immediately lead her to the basement, where the smoke was so thick she could hardly see; and she liked it. After some introductions, she was seated between Kyle and his friend Dave, passing a joint between the two. Leila could feel the weight of everything lifting off of her with every toke; soon, she was laughing and the room was spinning.

Her phone kept beeping but Leila couldn't find the button to press to answer it. She was leaning against a wall,sitting on the ground, to high to really do anything else. Along with smoking a joint, she had done a line of coke; something she treated herself with every once in a while. Suddenly, her fingers were able to find the right button.
"h-Hello?"
"Le?" Jimmy's voice rang though her ear.
"Jimmy?"
"Yeah, your dad fell asleep, so I'm gonna pick you up, okay?"
Leila burst out laughing with the thought of her rock star father falling asleep before one AM.
"So meet me on the corner of 6th and Brock, k? The house you're at is on Brock, it's two houses from 6th okay?"
"Jimmy, I am so fucking high, but I will be there in fiiiiive minutes, okay?"
Laughter erupted into her ear. "Okay. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yep!"
And with that, she pulled herself from the floor. Kyle had wandered off with a girl a while ago. He had made sure she was okay, and left. Not that Leila minded; she had stayed with Dave for a while, and somehow ended up leaning against the wall. It was when she stood up that she realized that the back of her skirt was undone.
"What the?" She asked herself, trying to adjust her skirt. Panic suddenly filled her, she could feel something was wrong.
"You're just overreacting. It's nothing like that night." She whispered to herself, as she pushed through the sea of bodies to the front door.
"See, no signs of rape. No signs of anything." She whispered, as she lead herself to the corner where, she prayed, Jimmy was already waiting for her. Luckily, she saw the huge black SUV, and slid into the front seat.
"Are you okay?" Jimmy questioned.
She nodded, still trying to focus on her body and trying to make sure everything was alright.
"Leila, are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm just trying to think. When I'm high I only can think one thought at a time!" She cried, and started to laugh.
Leila waited to see if there was any pain emanating from her body. There were few things that Leila could be certain about in her life; but being raped, was one of them. She knew what it felt like the first five minutes after, the first day, the first week. She knew the physical pain, and the mental pain.
"Okay. Okay, I am fine!" She said, laughing.
"What did you take Leila?"
"Nothing I haven't done before!"
"You seem like you're on coke."
"How would you know?" Leila defensively replied.
"Because I've been there, Leila. I've done it; watched people do it. I know."
Leila sighed, and laid her head against the window.
"Yeah."
"Yeah what?"
"I'm high on fucking cocaine."
"Fuck, Le!" Jimmy cried.
"Jimmy, honestly, I don't do it all the time, just once in a while! Please don't be angry!" Leila pulled herself as close as she could against the car wall. She was used to punches by this point in an argument.
"Why are you shrinking into the corner?" Jimmy asked, pulling the car over to teh side of the road.
"I'm just used to people hitting when their mad, I guess it's just instinct."
Jimmy sighed.
"You don't have to worry about that anymore.Never ever again, Leila."
Jimmy continued to drive, and finally they made it to Leila's house. She took off her seatbelt, and leaned over to hug Jimmy. He held on to her for a long time. "Are you sure you're okay?" Leila nodded.
"I'll be fine, Uncle Jimmy."
"Call me if you need anything. If you start feeling weird, even a tiny bit, call me!"
Leila nodded. "Will, do!"
"Love you!" he cried as she slid out of his car.
She smiled back. "Love you too!"
And with that, she slipped into the house; up the dark stairs, pulled off clothes and slipped into bed.