It's Not Faith

Leila shuddered as she gulped down another pill. She had to take two pills three times a day; and doing that with her father; and now Val; and practically every member of Avenged Sevenfold in her house; was getting pretty hard. It was three days into her pill regiment; and she found herself already forgetting her pills. The fever and headache went away; but her cut would still throb from time to time.
She had just woken up; and managed to throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt; not bothering to find a sweater; as long as she could keep the inside of her arms covered; she could get a glass of juice; and then go back upstairs to get properly dressed.
"Whatcha doing?" Her Uncle Zack's voice rang through the kitchen; scaring her.
"Fuck, Zack that scared the shit out of me!" She said; putting her glass in the dishwasher and shoving the bottle of pills into her jean pockets; before turning to him. Her uncle gave her a smirk and she walked over and gave him a hug. She kept her arms carefully placed during the hug.
Zack went to the fridge and Leila tried to make a break for the stairs; she hadn't meant to be stopped downstairs.
"Wanna come to the beach? You've been here for like; a month and you still haven't gone to the beach with us!" Zacky said; leaning on the counter. Leila stopped halfway out the doorway of the kitchen and turned.
Leila laughed "I went with Val one night; so that counts."
Her uncle pouted at her. "Yeah; but you gotta come swimming!"
Leila shook her head and made a face. "Fuck the ocean."
Zacky laughed loudly; and came over to her and ruffled her hair. She swatted his hand away; and tried to continue her trek back upstairs.
"Come watch the game with us; you've been up there all day!"
"Zack I've been sleeping all day; I just got up!" She said laughing.
"But it's three in the afternoon!"
"You were a teenager once; but I guess it was so long ago!" She replied; smirking at Zacky.
"Shit; you're just like your dad." Zack said; laughing. He took her hand and pulled her to the living room. She playfully tried to pull away; but in reality; she was beginning to panic. Leila found herself being lightly pushed onto the couch beside Brian; her dad in a chair across from her. Zacky sat down beside her; and soon all eyes aside from hers were on the TV.
With his eyes still glued to the TV; Zacky started talking "You're kid is so like you it's not even funny, dude!"
Matt laughed as Leila punched Zacky in the arm. She was desperately trying to get away; even if it was just to grab a sweater.
"So you up for the beach? We were thinking a beach barbecue ." Matt said; turning to her.
"Uhm..sure. Tonight?"
Her father nodded at her; and turned back to the TV.
"How you're tattoo?" Brian asked; lightly poking at her still bandaged arm. Lately Leila had been keeping it wrapped; as well as re-wrapping it slightly more that needed; to cover up some cuts.
"Fine..." Leila trailed, lightly pulling at a thread coming from the wrapping.
"I think you could take the wrapping off of it now; it's been more than a week."
"Yeah; I'll go do that now..." Leila trailed; getting up from her spot.
She made it to her haven, her room, and shut the door. This week had been pretty crazy; and she could feel the exhaustion creeping up. She knew she needed sleep; she had fallen asleep around 10 in the morning; and it wasn't enough. She took four Tylenols; and pulled off her shirt and threw on a comfy sweater.
"Just an hour." She told herself; as she slid under the covers of her bed. She fished teh pills out of her pocket; and in a sleeping haze she dropped them on the floor.

"Leila. Leillllaaaaaa; sleeepinggg beauuttyyy!" A laugh pulled Leila out of her slumber. Zacky was staring at her; Trying to hold back more laugher.
"What. The. Fuck." She cried; smiling at her uncle. He burst out laughing.
"You went up here like two hours ago. Your dad sent me up to tell you it's almost dinner. Did you fall asleep when you came up?"
Leila tried to process all of what Zacky was saying. "Yeah...I'm just tired."
Zacky turned to go downstairs when his foot smacked the bottle of pills. He looked down; and in seeing the bright orange prescription bottle; he picked it up.
"What are these?"
Leila panicked. "N-Nothing. Just fell out of my bag; they're old from home; I found them when I was cleaning." She snatched them out of Zacky's hand as she got out of bed.
"Now get the fuck out before you fucking touch something else that isn't yours!" She screeched; lightly shoving Zack out of the room.
"W-What?" Zacky stared at her, dumbfounded.
"Get the fuck out, Zack." She hissed through clenched teeth. Zack turned and walked out of her room; and she slammed the door. It was then she felt the hot tears on her cheeks. Her heart was racing; she could feel her entire body shaking. The only thing she could do was rush to her razor; and pull her sleeve up. She slashed over and over again; trying to calm herself down. She slid down the wall; still panicing about what had happened about ten minutes ago. She cleared the blood off of her arms; and shoved her vice back into hiding. Heavy footsteps on the stairs made Leila pull down her sleeve and flick the tears off of her face.
"Leila?" Her fathers angered voice echoed through the upstairs.
"Leila you fucking get your ass out of your room right now."
Leila shook harder against her bedroom wall. She was terrified; she envisioned her muscular father punching her weak body; and she cowered closer to the wall.
Her door flew open; and her father came into view.
"Leila, what the fuck is Zacky talking about? Hm? Are you fucking taking pills? Fucking getting high? Is that why you're never eating; and always sleeping? Yeah?"
Leila leaned her head back against the wall; and stared at her father through tearful eyes. He crouched down and stared at her; though he sounded very angered; his eyes; glassy and watery; were filled with concern. He could tell that anger wasn’t going to help the situation.
"Leila; please, baby come here." He extended his hand; and gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up. She still tried to avoid her fathers eyes.
She knew that she could clear it up with just a few words.
"I..They're..they're not uhm their not pills pills...they're medication." She whispered.
"What are they for?" She could see her fathers jaw clench,
“They..they're for an infection. I'm not doing drugs anymore!" She screamed; suddenly standing up; getting angered.
"You and and your fucking ignorant friends all think that you have seen the fucking world; seen it all. Well fuck you. You don't even know what is going on inside my motherfucking head!" She screamed, pulling at her hair.
Her father stared at her, unsure of what to do. "Leila; Leila, Hun calm down, it's okay."
"No, No, It's not. I I'm not it's..it's I They're for a fucking infection. I have an infected cut; fuck why can't you people leave me alone?" She leaned against the wall; her heart was racing and she was shaking. Her father got up and walled across the room; and wrapped his arms around her.
"Calm down, shh, Hun; calm down." She fell into her fathers hug; and sobbed.
"Where is the cut? How did you get it? Did you go to the hospital?"
"Jimmy took me the other night." She replied; trying to avoid the question.
Her father let out a sigh.
"You're not on drugs; are you? Leila, you know you can come to me, or Val, or anyone of the guys; if theres anything you need. Zacky was just worried about you, and so am I."
Leila nodded into her fathers chest.
"I'm sorry, daddy." She said softly.
"I-I think maybe we should go see someone. Just someone to talk to. Leila, I've seen your social service report; I know what she did to you. I think maybe talking to someone will really help you."
Leila shook her head softly. "Daddy, I just want to go back to sleep."
She felt her father sigh; and he unwrapped his arms from her. "Okay. I'll come up in a few hours with some dinner; okay?"
Leila nodded and wiped her tears from her eyes. Her father gave her one final hug; and left the room; gently shutting the door.
You're making everyone upset. Why are you still around?
Leila tried to shake the thoughts from her head.
You're dad is so pissed. Jimmy doesn't really care. Zacky fucking hates you, & everyone thinks you're so fucking poor girl trying to live off of your fathers fame.
She pulled her hair harshly; and got up from her bed. There was only one way to shut the voices up in her head. She went into the bathroom and pulled out her Tylenols; and the secret stash and hardcore painkillers that she had taken from her mother. She laid they all out on the bathroom floor; and filled a glass up with water. She started taking the pills; one by one, until the long line was gone. She then went back to her bed; and lay down. She knew that she may die; but she didn't care. She just wanted sleep; she just wanted the voices to shut up; she just wanted to stop hurting.