It's Not Faith

Leila was currently sitting next to a fidgeting Jimmy. Val and Matt sat up from in the black SUV and Jimmy and Leila sat in the spacious back seats. Leila placed her head against the cool glass of the window. She was terrified but excited about meeting the rest of the band. Jimmy had already made her feel calm and welcome, she oped that the others would feel the same way.

Matt and Val were talking about some neighbourhood thing, Leila wasn't sure what; a barbecue or something. She had tried to take interest, but failed miserably at it. Leila just let the sights of Huntington Beach pass her through the glass window. They passed the main strip, and turned onto a quieter, but still business-ey street.
"We'[re going to my faaaavorite cafe, Le. I spent many afternoons there when I was supposed to be in school." Jimmy said.
Leila liked the nickname he had given her. Le
"Don't be telling my daughter that, if she has gotten any of my genes, it would probably be the skipping gene. Now shes gonna have a great place to go." Matt said, laughing.
Leila removed her head from the window, interacting for once.
"No, I'll just call uncle Jimmy; he can sign me out, and we'll go there together!"
Jimmy's booming laughter filled the car, and as best as he could with the seat belts, he gave Leila a tight hug.

"Damn right you will. I'll be the only uncle you'll ever be calling. Meh, maybe Brian if you need booze, and maybe Zacky if you need some like, I dunno fashion advice or something...but definitely not Johnny, you wont need to call him at all."
Leila laughed. "I'm gonna tell him you said that!"
"If you do, I'll karate chop you!"
"Hey, No Karate chopping my kid!" Matt scolded from the front seat.
Leila stuck her tongue out at Jimmy, who grinned back at her.
Finally, It's nice to be happy for a while.
Leila felt so carefree at the moment. She didn't feel the need to cut herself, she didn't feel like pure and utter shit. She felt good.
Maybe this change was for the better.
She felt this way until the car stopped in front of a tiny cafe.
fuck.

Matt and Val got out of the car. Leila stayed put. Jimmy had taken off his seat belt, and had one long leg out his door when he stopped at turned to Leila.
"You just gonna sit here?"
Leila hardly turned to look at him. She just nodded.
Jimmy looked at Matt through the windshield, and held up a finger.
He shut his side door, and turned to Leila.
"It's gonna be okay. The guys will love you. You're cool, chill, confident. And all of those things started with C!"
Leila could really only laugh at the older man.
"Good, see, I knew you would laugh. Now, you gonna come out?"
Leila shook her head still.
"Aw, c'mon, you gottta!! I'm starving!!!"
Leila laughed, and instantly felt bad.
Look at you, fucking up everyone Else's life. Everyone is bending over backwards for you, and you're sitting in her being a fucking selfish bitch.
Leila could feel the tears spring to her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but the tall man beside her was too fast.
"Whoa, no need to cry! I didn't mean-"
"I'm not crying. Sorry. I I just get really scared, And I'm sorry for making you wait."
"Le, you don't ever need to be sorry...Now let's go get some pancakes, k?"
Jimmy stuck his hand out, and Leila grabbed it. He pulled her to his side of the car, and they both slid out.

Matt was leaning against the car.
"Val's gone inside. You okay Leila?"
Leila nodded. "Sorry, just nervous."
Matt nodded, and lead Jimmy and Leila into the cafe.
Leila could see the large group sitting at the back, in a huge booth. She followed her father; Jimmy was behind her, still holding her hand. She felt better with the contact that the older man was giving her. She felt safe.
Matt stopped at the large crowd; everyone had stopped talking.
"Hey guys..This, this is Leila."
Jimmy gave Leila a little shove, and she meekly waved to everyone.
Matt, Jimmy and her all took a seat around the huge table.
Brian was sitting closest to her. "Hey Leila, I'm Brian, and this is Michelle, my fiance."
"I'm Val's twin." Michelle brightly said to her. Leila smiled.
Zacky waved to her. "I'm Zacky."
"And I'm Gena, his other half." Leila waved to both of them.
"I'm Joh-"
"Short shit" Jimmy said, interrupting him. "His name is short shit."
Johnny scowled at Jimmy, and Jimmy grinned back.
"And I'm Lacey." The girl sitting beside him said, smiling.

Soon, everyone was talking and eating. Leila was picking at her pancakes, barely eating them. She wished that she could just melt into the wall, and come out when her father was driving away. Jimmy was trying to catch her eye, and Leila was purposely avoiding his eye. As much as she liked Jimmy, she just felt like crying, and didn't want to let his see that. Jimmy could read her like a book.

Leila was more that relieved when the group breakfast was over. Sure, everyone was really nice to her, but she really needed to get home, and sleep. Or cut. Or cry, or maybe do all three.
Finally, she was back in the spot, leaning against the window, head lightly shaking from the movement of the car.
"We're going into the studio tomorrow, k Leila? Do you want to go around town with Val, then come to the studio?"
Leila tiredly lifted her head off the window. It took all her strength just to reply to her father.
"Sounds good."
Soon, and much to Leila's happiness, she was finally...home. Before anyone could really protest or say anything, Leila was up in her room, door shut. Family blocked out. Thoughts blocked out. All that she could focus on were her overwhelming feelings of exhaustion, sadness, and a million other feelings she couldn't really figure out.
There were choices to be made, blade, bed, tears. She had cut her arms badly the night before, so Leila opted for the bed.
She tried to sleep her feelings away, and after three Tylenol, she hoped she could do that.

Matt was worried about his daughter.
"It is only her first full day here dude, I bet she freaked out. She just came out of a pretty rough situation, she's not used to men in her house, she most likely misses her mom. She's nervous and isn't used to having a dad. Yeah, to be honest, her just leaving to her room made me a little worried too, but hopefully it's just nerves." Jimmy tried to comfort his friend.
"I hope so. But dude, her fucking social service report! It's crazy. What that fucking bitch put her though. And I wasn't there to fucking save her. She was in the hospital, because that cow threw a glass at her, and smashed her into a wall. I'm so scared that my daughter is hurting, and not telling us."

The two concerned men could only sit in their own thoughts and worry, both unsure what to do.