Right Girl

Tonight was my date with John and for some reason I was nervous. I mean I’ve obviously been alone with him and we’ve talked about everything already but tonight feels different, like I’m going to see him all dressed up for me.

I finished getting ready 30 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up. I was excited, what can I say? 20 years of friendship, 6 years of harboring a secret love and 3 weeks of being a couple and I was still not over him. Everyday I noticed something new that I liked about him. It might just be the way he laughs or the way he talks about such deep topics or even the way he holds my hand. I was falling hard fast and it scared me.

John was amazing and I knew in my heart he would never hurt me but I was insecure. I was insecure about a lot like my appearance and my relationships with people – intimate relationships mostly. It was one of the things I hated most about myself.

I mean I’ve only felt like this one other time and let’s say it didn’t end well. It scarred me and not even John knows the whole story. It affected me so much that until now I still tear up when I think of it and that day especially.

I tried to keep myself busy while waiting for John but there’s only so much you can do before you feel the need to pace by the door like a 16 year old going out on her first real date. But I controlled myself I was not going to be that 16 year old, I started up my computer and decided to check my facebook and tumblr. The hate mail I started getting the day before increased. Today there were 3 on each site, all saying things like your ugly or he’s too good for you. I knew I shouldn’t have opened up the sites so as not to bring myself down before my date but I couldn’t help it. I needed to know what people were saying.

Finally, I heard the rumble of John’s truck as he made his way into the driveway. I smoothed down my skirt and fluffed my hair a bit, I didn’t want the curls to get flat, and finally add more gloss to my lips.

Sam was at John’s house since I had work earlier we both decided his mom would just take care of her for the afternoon until we got back from our date. It was easier that way.

“Hey ” John greeted when I opened the door.

“Hi.”

“You look amazing!” He said giving me a peck on the lips.

“Thank you.” He gave me another peck. “You know I don’t kiss guys on first dates.”

“Oh woopsie.” He was too cute. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I said taking his hand and looking up the house. ”Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

“Aww come on!” He knew how much I hated waiting. Surprises I loved, the waiting not so much.

“Baby, relax. It’s not far.” He chuckled.

It turns out he reserved a table for us at my favorite place, Mario’s, which was this famous Italian restaurant. They had THE best spaghetti with meatballs in the whole of Arizona. We didn’t come here much, it was a bit pricey so when we pulled in to the parking lot, I was surprised.

“John, are you sure this isn’t to expensive?” I said as we were being taken to our table.

“Will you relax, Tori.” He squeezed my hand.

“Sorry! I just don’t want you to spend your money on me.”

“Come on. I know I’m your best friend but would it kill you to date me like you would any other guy?”

“Uh yeah, actually it would.” I told him seriously.

“I should have known not to ask.” I laughed.

Our food arrived 15 minutes later. John ordered the lasagna, which was also to die for, while I stuck to the good ol’ spaghetti. Their servings were big and I could never actually finish a whole order but when I voiced this out to John he told me stop fussing about the price.

“I told you it was too much.” I told him after I gave up on the spaghetti.

“Ok fine, but you wouldn’t shut up about the price. I didn’t know if you were telling the truth.” I rolled my eyes.

“Next time you should just listen to me.”

“Yes mom.” He signaled for me to give him the rest of the pasta.

“Are you not full?” It was a wonder how he stayed so thin.

“Me? Babe I’ve still got room for dessert!” He patted his stomach.

“I-” My phone buzzed.

Unknown:
I hate you. When he breaks up with you well let’s just say I’m sure he’ll be much happier.

Ugh they have my number! I hate this. I sighed and John noticed the change in my mood.

“What’s wrong?” He asked concerned. “It’s not the restaurant again is it? Tori, believe me, this is nothing compared to what those other girls I’ve dated wanted. I know how much you love this place and we never come here, I thought you’d be happy. I’m sorry if it’s upsetting you.”

“No no. This is amazing and I am extremely happy. This was extremely thoughtful of you believe me. No guy has done this for me. Not even Nick although I don’t think that counts because we were 14.” I assured him.

“Ok, so what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, everything’s fine.” I lied.

“Your sure? If something is wrong, I want you to tell me. Promise me. Just because I’m your boyfriend doesn’t mean I stop being your best friend. You still can and have to tell me everything. No secrets. ”

“I’m sure.” I smiled weakly. “No secrets.”

“Good. Now put a smile on your pretty face.” I couldn’t help the smile that grew. “That’s my girl! Ready for dessert?”

“Yes.” There’s always room for dessert.

“Lava cake?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. When we came here those few times, he and I would always share 1 lava cake with 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream. It was tradition and who were we to break tradition.

After John placed the order I went to the ladies room to freshen up. I also made a quick call to Ronnie and Rachel giving them the short version of what happened the past few days. They promised to come over the following day to help me figure out what to do.

I know lying to John wouldn’t help my case now or in the future but I just didn’t have the heart to tell him that his fans, the ones he thought so highly of were sending me hate mail and death threats. Truthfully I was hoping that it would go away in a few days.

As I moved back to the table, I resolved to wait a few days and if the messages kept coming I would tell him.

“Hey, so what did you mean by this was nothing compared to what the other girls you’ve dated wanted you to do for them?” I asked putting the hot and gooey dessert into my mouth.

“Well, they expect me to bring them some place expensive or buy them something from when we are on tour. This to them would be cheap.”

“No!”

“Yes, I didn’t even think of the price when I reserved here. I just knew you this was your favorite and I wanted this night to be perfect.”

“Aww, John that is so sweet.” I moved towards him and gave him a quick peck when I thought no one was looking. No need for PDA

“What happened to I don’t kiss on first dates?” He teased me.

“Fine, I take back my kiss.”

“No, you can’t do that!” He complained.

“Too bad, I already did.”

Everything was perfect or at least it felt that way until we were getting the bill.

“This was amazing John!” I told him as we waited for the bill.

“I’m glad you enjoyed.”

“Here’s your bill sir.” The waiter said.

It all happened in slow motion after that. John checking the bill the waitress tripping, spilling all the hot soup on me and finally seeing Mimi, and yes I do mean Mimi john’s ex-girlfriend, cackling a few tables away. Of course to make things worse 2 more texts one saying “HAHA” most probably from Mimi and another similar to the ones I’ve been getting.

“Here, this should help.” John said handing me some burn cream for my hand and stomach. The soup was really hot, like straight of the fire hot.

“Thanks.” I accepted it moving to a sitting position on his bed. I would do anything to make the pain stop.

“Do you want me to do it?”

“Yeah, please.” He sighed and started rubbing my hand lightly, the cold gel soothing my hand immediately.

“Does it feel any better?” He asked. I knew he felt bad about what happened even though it wasn’t his fault, the whole time during the car ride home he kept repeating how sorry he was.

“Hey, are you ok?” I asked him softly.

“I think I’m supposed to be asking that question.” He chuckled.

“Eh, I’ll live. And you?”

“I’m just upset this had to happen to you.” He looked at me.

“Hey, this” I said pointing to the red spots on my body. “This is not your fault, nobody could have seen this coming, ok? Will you please smile for me? I had a great time and that’s all that matters. I don’t want it to end like this.”

“You are amazing, Natalie Victoria.” He smiled and gave me a kiss, a slow, long and sweet kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I l –“ Jenny came in with a glass of water and some painkillers. John sighed, knowing those 3 words weren’t about to come out of my mouth again anytime soon.

“Here hon, this should help with the pain.”

“Thank you Jenny.”

“Tori, John and I think it would be best if you stayed for the night. It’s late and you’re injured. We would feel better if we knew someone was with you at least until the morning.”

“Oh, um ok. I guess that would be most logical.” I agreed to tired to argue.

“John, will find you some clothes.”

An hour later we were snuggled on the couch, just close enough to each other for it to be called snuggling but far enough for me to be comfortable. My head rested on John’s bare chest as he rubbed my back soothingly while watching the movie. I was exhausted from the nights event and although the pain was numbed by the medicine I could still feel some of it and it was making me uncomfortable.

“John. I’m gonna go to the room, ok? I’m really tired.”

“Ok, I’ll come with you.”

“No, no you finish the movie.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Come up whenever.”

“Ok, I’ll be up soon.” He kissed me goodnight.

I tried to go to sleep but after 30 minutes of tossing and turning, I knew it would be awhile before sleep would find me. I kept my eyes closed though and not long after John came in. He gave me kiss on the forehead, thinking I was asleep already, and whispered another goodnight and I love you. He got in beside me and pulled me close to him carefully. I couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he was. His breathing began to steady and I could hear him snoring lightly.

I twisted my body so I was facing him. He looked so peaceful and it was in that moment I knew that I was truly in love with John Cornelius O’Callaghan the Fifth. I mean i would daydream about him for hours and I just want to be with him every single second of everyday. I knew the only thing stopping me from saying those 3 words was fear and pain but being with him just felt right and different from anything I've ever felt. I was ready to tell him.

“I love you too, John.” I whispered.