Saving Sloane Winters

Sloane Erin M. Winters
Keywords I. had, broken, Teak Richardson

Teak Richardson was nowhere near perfect when he was influenced by drugs.

He swore a lot, laughed a lot, blinked a lot, and talked a lot.

Albeit the laughing was really quite dry, he never used to laugh so much. It was odd, to say in the least. His lips stretched into a sort of smile while he laughed, but it didn’t make me smile myself.

And, my God, he talked. He spilled out everything he thought of himself, what he thought of me all in under half an hour. He’d look at me with bloodshot eyes, and a lopsided grin while he spoke, while he smashed down every wall he built himself with truth.

He looked so small, so defeated, sitting in the passenger seat of Riley’s beat up ute. His head slumped on the window, his eyes looking straight at me.

Who could’ve done this to him?

Teak Richardson was like some steel mask of confidence, and aloof to everyone and everything around him.

Then I realised that he was just Teak Richardson, not perfect at all, but only just another insignificant teenager to the world, but so significant to me. But despite that; he was still human. And humans were made to be broken.

Riley grins sheepishly as he slams the door at Teak’s side. Looks as if he wants to say something, but never does.

“Just say it, Riley,” I mutter, and collapse onto the porch again. My own voice is small; I’m barely touching the waters of my confidence, which are slowly slipping away.

“I know what he did to you was dead stupid, so I don’t blame you for anything—he did that to himself. But he’s like a brother to me, ya know? I—just don’t break him, please?”

He’s driving down the road now, and I’m all alone.

Silly Riley, I almost want to yell at him. How can you break someone who’s already been broken?

It came to mind that I was the one who did this to him.

I had broken Teak Richardson.

_____________________

The sky was bleeding orange and pink when I went back in, dragged myself up the stairs to my room, until Bonnie stops me.

She's sitting in the study, her now familiar freckled face and carrot coloured hair was like a comfort to me. A comfort that my dad was finally happy, after four years of pain and grief-- he was finally smiling without obligation, but because of Bonnie.

“Is that one of those Xavier boys, Slo? You’re being safe, aren’t you? I know I’m not your mother or anything like that, so I don’t want to seem like that. I mean, I wouldn’t like it if you’re having sex, but if that’s what you want, then I’ll be fine with it. I’m just asking that you use a condom while you’re at it, you know—so you don’t get pregnant, like Sarah or get some kind of vaginal disease.”

“Did you just use the word ‘vaginal’?”

Bonnie narrows her eyes at me behind her thick glasses. “That doesn’t matter, are you having sex with one of those boys out there?”

I nearly choke, shaking my head until it nearly flies off. “No, Bonnie. I assure you, I’m not. That’s Riley, Bess’ more or less boyfriend.”

“And the other boy? The hooligan with the tattoos? Was he drunk? He looked rather disorientated. If he is some kind of alcoholic, Sloane, I’d advise you not to be in his company anymore, you don’t want to get tied up with the wrong sort of people.”

Her love for me was rather tiring sometimes.

“That’s Teak, he’s… Riley’s friend,” I finish lamely.

No, Bonnie. He's just a boy that I happen to be in love with.

"You're in love with him?" Bonnie says, and suddenly she's getting this nostalgic look at her face, and enveloping me in her pudgy arms with her hug. I hadn't know I'd said that out loud. "Oh Sloane, you're growing up so fast!"

And to think she's only known me for five months.

"It's not a happy kind of love, Bonnie," I mumble. "It's like I'm suffering."

"Oh," Bonnie says, and pats a seat next to her. "I know your dad and I have stopped your therapy sessions, so you can talk to me about it, I mean-- if you'd like. I don't want to impose on your personal life or anything, but I've never had a daughter before. Only a son, but he's already twenty four, and never shared anything with me."

I tell her about my first lunch at Xavier College for Boys, I tell her about Teak's sister Quinn, I tell her about Tristan and how confusing it is with him, I tell her about how Kay hates Teak, I tell her about Bess being infatuated with Riley.

I tell her everything, and then it feels like I have a mother. I have someone to care for me, to talk to like I can't talk to dad, someone who can understand me and never judge.

"Sloane, if you truly don't like Tristan, then don't string him along, you've got to be honest to him and to yourself, and to this Teak boy," is what Bonnie says afterward.

"Problem is that I do like him, but I don't love him."

"But is it him that you want?"

No, it's not.

Stupid Sloane, you've had the answer all along.

It's Teak that you want, not Tristan.