Remembering the Summers

It was John’s birthday.

There was a party going on at his house, as usual. Shiloh was there, her and Kennedy attached to each other. They were in the kitchen, arguing over what type of alcohol they should have when John came in and grabbed Shiloh around the waist.

“Hello Shiloh. Kiss for the birthday boy?” He smiled, looking directly at her. There was a trace of alcohol on his breath, but he wasn’t near drunk.

“You wish.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. She squeezed him and ignored the battle she was having inside of her.

“I do.” He smiled, kissing her ear then letting go of her and returning to the rest of the party.

She stared at him as he walked away. She wondered if he knew how she felt about him, and wondered if that’s why he said some of the things he did.

She was about to turn away, but John turned around and caught her eye. It was like something inside of her sparked. She turned away from him, blushing. She knew what she was going to do before this night was over, no matter the outcome.

“Shiloh, why are you so red? You can’t be tipsy already?” Kennedy said while laughing.

“I am not. I haven’t had one drink.” She claimed, grabbing a glass of the counter. She made her own cranberry vodka drink, mostly vodka of course.

“Easy lightweight.” Kennedy smirked, then turned and left the room.

“I can hold my liquor better than you, Kenny.” She smiled, following him.

“You’re probably right.” He said, facing her. She nodded and sipped her drink. As she observed the room, she thought about how she was going to tell John she loved him. She didn’t know if she was able to hold this in any longer so she went to tell Kennedy what she was going to do, but found him making out with some girl. She instantly rolled her eyes and went to find John. Her insides were filled with butterflies and her hands were shaking.

She spotted Haven in the corner of the living room, talking to some guys Shiloh had never met. She glared at her and wondered why she was even here. After her and John broke up, she assumed she wouldn’t be seeing that slut again.

She ignored Haven after that and after looking in all the rooms down stairs, she decided to go look upstairs. She saw him coming out of the bathroom, and immediately pushed him back in. She closed the door and turned to him.

“I knew you were going to kiss me.” John smirked, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her towards him.

“John-,” He interrupted her by kissing her cheek. Something that made her breath catch in her throat. She didn’t want to say anything else, but snapped out of it and pulled away from John’s embrace. “I need to tell you something.” Shiloh whispered, ignoring the yelling coming from her stomach.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, his face masked with concern now. He came closer to her and placed his hands on her arms.

“Uhm, no.” she said, looking at the ground.

“What is it? You can tell me anything.” He said, giving her arms a light squeeze.

“I hope so.” She whispered. “John, i-I love you.” She said softly after a short pause.

“What?” He said it so softly she could barely hear him.

She finally looked up and found courage somewhere unknown to her.

“John, I love you. I have loved you for the longest time.” She confessed, looking up at him. His face had no emotion on it, and she felt her heart shatter.

“John- I- never mind.” She said, her voice shaking. She never realized that this would happen. She thought the worse would be him laughing at her. But he just looked, scared; maybe even disgusted. She left the bathroom, her shoulders shaking from the sobs she was hiding. He didn’t try to stop her, and she didn’t look back to see what he was doing. All she knew was that she needed to get out of there.

She walked quickly out of the house after grabbing a bottle of Southern Comfort. The street was pretty empty since most of the partygoers were inside. She didn’t care what Kennedy was going to think when he found out she left without saying anything. She walked until she came to the nearest park. She laughed as she sat down on the closest bench. She couldn’t believe the events of the night led her to a park. She hated parks.

She took a few large swigs of her drink of choice and leaned her head against the back of the bench. She just stared up at the sky as tears fell down her cheeks. Her body shook with each wave of sobs that came, and she didn’t try to keep quiet.

Ten minutes and half a bottle later she heard someone walking towards her. She sat up and looked towards the sound and saw a man’s silhouette. Shiloh decided to leave then, she didn’t know who this was. She got up quietly and walked into the trees behind her. She didn’t look back to see if the man walked by, she decided to just keep going.

Arizona was known to be hot, but tonight it was a comfortable temperature. August was when it finally decided to cool down. Shiloh closed her eyes and took in the chilly air. She stumbled further into the park and soon came across a little bridge that was no more than thirty feet above the ground. She decided to walk across it, but soon became nauseous from all the alcohol and she decided to rest against the rail.

She looked down into the darkness that was below her and wondered what would happen if she were to fall into said darkness. It wasn’t like she was going to jump, yet it didn’t hurt to wonder.
“Interesting...” She said softly, leaning over the rail.

She didn’t notice him watching her from the other side of the bridge the whole time. She didn’t notice him running across to get her. But she did notice him once he grabbed her and pulled her into the middle of the bridge.

“What the hell! Let go of me!” She screamed, unaware of who it was.

“Shiloh, what are you-“

“John! What are you doing here?” She interrupted, looking around. She didn’t want to be near him.

“What are you doing here? You are all by yourself! You don’t know what kind of freaks are out here. Shiloh, let’s go.” He said, trying to grab her arm. She wouldn’t let him touch her.

“Just leave me alone John! Get away from me.” She spat, backing away from him.

“What’s-Were you going to jump?” He asked her, coming close to her again. She didn’t move this time. She was starting to feel the effects of all the alcohol she had that night. Her head was spinning and her legs were becoming wobbly.

“No, I wasn’t. Can you leave me alone now?” She asked, turning her head away from him. Her eys filling with more tears.

“I’m taking you home.” John said, grabbing her hand and pulling her in the direction she assumed was his car.

“John, just stop.” She said after a few minutes of walking. She knew where she was now. Her neighborhood.

“Shiloh, we are almost there.”

“Just leave me please. I can make it back myself.” She said, then realized their hands were still entwined. She pulled her hand away and clasped both of her hands together.
“No, I am going to make sure you make it back home safely.” He said firmly. She looked into his eyes then and more tears escaped hers. She saw the expression on his face change and she started walking without him, then heard footsteps start behind her.

Not one word was said as they made their way to her house, and once they reached it they both stopped, facing each other.

A thought struck Shiloh like a bolt of lightning, and she couldn’t realize how stupid she had been to not think of it before.

“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday John. I’m sorry to have taken you away from the party and…and Haven.” She said, then sped into her house, unaware of the words John was saying behind her, and unaware of the look of heartbreak in his eyes.