I Want to Be the Prettiest Wreck You've Ever Seen

The sunlight peeked in my windows, waking me up. I groaned and covered my face with my pillow-I wasn’t ready to get up yet. I lay there for a while before I realized the pounding in my head was gone. I sighed in relief and climbed out of bed to take a shower. The clock in the bathroom said it was ten thirty. I had slept for over twelve hours.

I blow dried and straightened my long hair. My cell phone started ringing in my bed room and I looked at the caller ID to see it was Jackson calling me. I bit my lip. I wanted to hear his smooth voice but I was afraid of what he had to say. I didn’t want to answer if he was just going to yell at me. I’d rather be in the dark about it and thinking he missed me. My phone beeped, telling me I had a missed call.

“Well, no shit.” I muttered out loud, tossing my phone on my bed. I blew out a sigh as my phone beeped again-I had a voicemail. I slowly picked up my phone and called my voicemail, punching in my password. I had two voicemails-both from Jackson.

“Message one:” The recorded voice told me. I ambled downstairs and plopped on the empty couch.

“Call me.” Jackson’s voice entered my ears. I shook my head no and pressed seven to erase the message.

“Message two:” The voice said.

“Seriously-call me.” He huffed. He sounded frustrated-not a good sign. I deleted that message as well and dropped my head backwards, staring at the white ceiling. I sat like that for a few minutes before I got up and headed into the large kitchen. I felt a sudden urge to make cookies.

So that’s what I did. By the time Kevin came home I had made four kinds and was just washing the last of the dishes. He eyed me carefully.

“Hi…” He said. I smiled brightly at him.

“Hi.” He relaxed slightly.

“Is everything ok?” He asked. I nodded.

“Headache’s gone. I just felt like making cookies.” I said. “I was bored.”

“Alright.” He kissed the top of my head, took a cookie and went upstairs. “I have a date tonight.” He called. I frowned.

“Ok.” I called back. There was a knock at the front door and I dried my hands as I went to answer it. I opened the door and Kellan stood there with Ashley and Rob. I stood back to let them in and shut the door behind them. Kellan sniffed loudly and headed for the kitchen. I rolled my eyes at Rob and Ash before following him.

“How are you feeling?” Rob asked softly.

“Fine.” I answered. “My headache’s gone.” I told them because they didn’t look convinced.

“Good cookies.” Kellan said, stealing a few. I laughed.

“Thanks.” The island in the center of the kitchen was covered with a ton of cookies.

“So you’re Bettey Crocker, all of a sudden?” Ash asked, taking a cookie as well.

“I was bored.” I shrugged.

“You could’ve come to the set.” She said, sounding offended that I didn’t. I dropped my gaze to the ground.

“I know.” I said softly.

“We didn’t come here to make you feel bad.” Rob said, throwing a look at Ashley.

“I’m sorry.” Ash sighed. I have her a tight hug.

“Me, too.” I said.

“Yeah, we came to see if you were ok.” Kellan said through a mouthful of cookie. “These are really good.” He said, taking more. I laughed.

“I’m glad you like them.” Kevin came down the stairs and smiled at the three of them.

“Alright, kid, don’t burn the place down.” He laughed. I smiled half heartedly at him. I mean-I was happy that he was seeing someone, I guess I was just feeling jealous. He left and Rob turned to me. I was still watching the door, maybe hoping he would come back in Jay Kay! I don’t really have a date-psych! With his boyish grin on his handsome face. Or maybe I was really just hoping that Jackson would come in, kiss me and tell me he loved me.

“Margrette!” Rob said loudly, waving his hand in front of my face. I jumped and looked at him apologetically.

“Sorry.” I sighed.

“What’s the matter?” Ash asked. I slid onto the counter, shrugging.

“I don’t know.” I said casually. Kellan let out a huge fake sneeze. I looked at him, bemused.

“I’m sorry,” He said, his hand over his heart. “I’m just allergic to bull shit.” I laughed and held my arms out for a hug.

“I’m serious.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I really don’t know. I mean-he deserves someone, after Kelsey. But I just don’t know why he hasn’t like…brought her here or something.” I sighed, pretty sure that’s what was bugging me-I hadn’t met her.

“Who’s Kelsey?” Kellan asked, munching on more cookies. I hesitated.

“It will stay just between us.” Rob vowed, correctly interpreting my pause.

“Kelsey was his wife.” I said and launched into Kelsey’s story. I finished and Rob was holding my hand.

“So, you were named after his wife?” Ash asked. I nodded.

“Well, that explains why he’s so protective of you.” Rob murmured. I looked at him.

“What?” I asked, surprised. Kevin always seemed so relaxed all the time, totally casual, especially around me.

“Before you got here-he was basically telling us to be nice and that you were off limits and if you got hurt-he’d be really upset.” Kellan laughed. “Not that he had anything to worry about. We don’t like you being hurt.” My face flushed and I looked at my lap.

“Aw, honey.” Ash laughed.

“I thought that my name was the reason I was his favorite.” I admitted, realizing now that I had been wrong.

“No-but it’s easy to see why you are.” Rob said, tracing lines on my palms. I scoffed.

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you guys had met Monica.” I said. “You’d all be like-‘Maggie Who?’” I said bitterly.

“Doubt that.” Ashley said.

“Everyone else did.” I muttered. I don’t normally like to feel sorry for myself, but I allowed myself a small pity-party moment, secretly liking to hear them defend me.

“Look-“ Kellan started, throwing a cookie at me. “I know everyone ‘dug’ your sister and all-but I’ve got to say, she’s without.” My face got redder and I hid in Rob’s shoulder. Kellan just laughed. Once I could show my face again, Ashley spoke up.

“We’re going out to dinner tonight. Are you coming?” She asked casually, but I could tell she really wanted me to go. I frowned.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I said. I didn’t want to see Cara for fear I’d attack her again.

“Oh.” She said, her face falling.

“What if I make dinner again tomorrow?” I suggested.

“What are you gonna make?” Kellan asked.

“It’s a surprise.” I said. ‘To both of us.’ I added silently. Rob chuckled as if reading my thoughts. He gently kissed my hand as Ashley looked at the clock.

“You guys better get going.” I said, sliding off the counter. I grabbed two freezer, zip-lock, gallon size bags. I split up the cookies, handing one bag to Kellan and the other to Ash.

“Don’t let him touch those.” I said and she laughed. I hugged them goodbye and decided to watch a movie to pass the time.

Halfway though the movie I got a text from Jackson asking where I was and why I wasn’t at dinner. I didn’t answer.

I went to bed after the movie ended, shutting off my phone for the first time in a long time. I never shut off my phone.

The next morning I took my shower and turned my phone back on. I had another missed call and a text from Jackson, saying thanks for the cookies.

“Welcome.” I said dully. I headed downstairs to search for something to make for dinner tonight. I flipped through the cookbooks and finally decided I wanted to make Chinese food. I made a list of the things I would need and headed for the store. I got everything I needed and some cake and frosting mixes. I was heading through check out when my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID, saw Jackson’s name and stuffed it back in my pocket. A tiny part of me just wished he’d stop, but I knew that if he did-I’d miss it. I sighed as I went out to my car and put the stuff in the trunk. I checked my voicemail.

“Message one:” The stupid voice said.

“Maggie-please call me.” He pleaded. I bit my lip and erased the message.

I drove home and pulled into the garage. I carried the bags inside and started making the cakes first. I mixed all the ingredients for the first cake together, put them in the three pans and put them in the over. I started getting the stuff ready to make the Chinese food.

I had three pans going when my phone rang against. I looked at the caller ID and saw Ashley’s name. I hesitated a second before answering.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, sweetie, listen.” She started apologetically. I frowned. “We can’t come to dinner tonight.”

“Why?” I asked.

“We all have interviews to do. I’m really sorry, honey.” She said. I sighed.

“It’s ok.” I said. “Have fun.” I said quietly.

“I’m really sorry, Mags.” She said again.

“Ash, it’s fine-I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said.

“OK!” She said brightly. Uh-oh.

“Bye, Ash.” I said, hanging up.

I finished cooking halfheartedly and threw myself into making three different cakes and decorating them-that was my favorite part. By the time I was done-they looked professional.

I looked at the clock-eight thirty and Kevin still wasn’t home. I frowned-he was always home by now. I started eating my dinner when my cell phone rang loudly on the counter. Kevin Calling.

“Hey, homie.” I greeted.

“Hey, kiddo, listen-my car died. Wanna come get me?” He asked. I laughed.

“Leave your lights on again?” I guessed.

“I hate those stupid lights.” He muttered.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few.” I said, still laughing.

“Alright.” I hung up and got ready to go. I drove to the lot and parked next to Kevin’s car but he was nowhere in sight so I got out to go look for him. I walked over to the door I usually walked in and saw Rob standing outside, talking to two guys; one with a camera. I stood a few feet behind them, so I didn’t walk in front of the camera.

“I hate my name.” Rob was saying. I smiled. “I hate anything to do with my name.”

“If you could change your name, what would it be?” The guy not holding the camera asked.

“Um, something cool like…Ransom.” Rob mused. “Or Spunk.” I giggled quietly and his eyes flickered to me and I started shaking with silent laughter. “Oh! What about Spunk Ransom?” He said excitedly. I doubled over, holding my stomach, laughing silently. I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t disrupt the interview. I knew I should walk away, but I loved listening to Rob talk.

After a few minutes, the interviewers said goodbye and Rob held his arms open for me to walk into. I stepped into his warm arms, relaxing slightly.

“Sorry we missed dinner.” He whispered. I shrugged.

“No big.” I said. “Kevin called. His car died.” I said as he led me inside to get warm.

“I haven’t seen him.” He said apologetically. We rounded a corner and Jackson was walking towards us with Kellan. He was looking down, talking and he sounded very upset.

“I don’t know what to do-she won’t return my calls or anything.” He muttered. I stepped backwards away from Rob as Kellan looked up to meet my eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but I shook my head, pleading him not to. He nodded once and I stepped back behind the corner.

“Well, man-Ashley said that she was really upset about what happened and she’s afraid you won’t listen to her and hate her.” Kellan said. “Maybe she just needs a few days.” I didn’t wait around to listen to more. I turned and walked back out to the car where Kevin was waiting. I got in, cranked the heat and quickly drove home.

Over the next few days I avoided going to the set. I was baking and cleaning and I even went Christmas shopping. I kept getting text messages and voicemails from Jackson.

Finally-I couldn’t stay home alone anymore. I drove to the set that Friday morning but instead of going to the library, like I normally would, I went to the fitness center. I messed around on the machines for a bit before half-assed jogging on the treadmill for half an hour.

Eventually I had to pee so I got off the treadmill and headed for the bathroom. I was on my way back when I rounded a corner and ran directly into someone. My face flushed.

“I’m so sorry!” I rushed. The person grabbed my upper arm and led me down the hallway. I realized only too late that it was Jackson. His grip was firm so I couldn’t get away, but not painful. He pulled me to a door and held it open, guiding me inside. He stepped in behind me and shut the door, leaving us in complete darkness. I gasped as his hands gripped my waist, spinning me around to face him.

“Jackson-“ I breathed, his face was so close to mine. He kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly, burying his face in the crook of my neck. A flash of heat seared across my body as he placed tiny, warm kisses on my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, not wanting to let go. Eventually I was going to have to because Cara would come looking, but I’d hold him as long as I could. I felt his warm breath on my neck.

“Jackson.” I said breathlessly.

“I missed you.” He said softly, his smooth lips brushing against my neck. My heart was pounding and my breathing was ragged. This boy was wreaking havoc on my vitals.

“Are you ok?” He whispered, his face still against my neck. He must have felt my heart.

“Mhm.” Was all I could manage.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, stepping away from me.

“You’re torturing me.” I whispered, saying more than I meant to. He always made me do that.

“How?” He asked.

“You have a girlfriend and you’ve got me in a janitor’s closet.” I hissed.

“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.” He said calmly.

“Wh-what?” I stuttered.

“I broke up with Cara.” He said. I remained silent, trying to come to terms with what he said. “Maggie?” He asked.

“You-you-“ I stuttered some more. He took my hands like I was made of glass and I was going to disappear.

“I heard what…she said to you.” He said angrily. “Everything. I broke up with her right after Kellan took you away. I wanted to find you that day to make sure you were ok. I heard you in the bathroom saying you didn’t want to see me, and after that you left and then I couldn’t find you and you wouldn’t talk to me.” He whispered, sounding close to tears. Then everything clicked into place-he left her and he wanted to make sure I was ok. He cared about me.

“Mags?” He whispered. I took my hands out of his and hesitated before throwing my arms around his neck tightly, kissing his cheek. His arms folded comfortably around my thin waist, holding me to his firm chest.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked, resting his mouth on my shoulder.

“Sure.” I said, breathing in his scent.

“Why were you avoiding me?” He asked.

“I thought you’d hate me for attacking Cara.”

“Pffft.” He scoffed. I stepped away, frowning. I stepped too far and tripped backwards over something. He caught my hands and steadied me. I don’t know how he knew I was falling, the room was still pitch black.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“I could never hate you.” He chuckled, lacing his fingers with mine.

“But the fire alarm-“ I started. He sighed.

“I got upset because I knew it was hurting you and I didn’t want to think that someone would purposely hurt you, let alone my girlfriend. I’m sorry I yelled at you.” He said, raising my hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“But how did you know?” I asked, confused.

“Kellan was on his way to see you when he saw her. He recorded her doing it and showed me the video on his phone after I left you.” He explained. Thank God for Kellan. “I tried finding you after to apologize and then I heard you yelling at Cara and I stopped to listen to the whole thing.” He said. I gently touched his soft cheek with my free hand and he firmly pressed my palm to his warm mouth. My eyes fluttered closed and a few seconds later the door was ripped open, blinding me with light.