I'm a Walking Travesty

The rest of the night seemed to go by fast. After Zack left, Ryan and I walked around his backyard just talking about life and what we’re both all about. At first I wasn’t sure exactly certain about what and what not to say but it all sorta just came out. I haven’t told him everything that there was to know about me but he seemed contented. It was as if he knew where the line between what was okay and personal stood. He respected my privacy.

After what only felt like minutes but were really hours, Peter told me that it was time to go. I left with a promise to go and see Ryan tomorrow where we would be having our first official date. I agreed without hesitation and was left with a smile plastered on my face for the rest of the night.

“Well you seem happy,” Peter said as soon as he hit the road.

I smirked. “I don’t know. There’s just something about him that leaves me smiling all the time and I’m not exactly sure what it is.” I said looking out the window watching the streetlights flash by me.

Peter laughed and I turned my head slowly at him and raised an eyebrow. He stole a quick glance before he shook his head. “He can be pretty persuasive, huh?” No shit. He did not just say that.

“What do you mean?” I asked him wondering why I was the only one who really believed in Ryan.

“Seriously?” he asked and I just continued to stare at him. “What he said was complete and utter bullshit.” He looked at me to see what my face looked like and then said, “No offense,”

“Oh come on, you’re not giving him a chance either?” I asked him seriously but all of this seemed too amusing to Peter. He just kept laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

“A chance? Really?” he said laughing some more.

I sighed aloud as I looked out the window. “He’s trying to show you guys that he’s not what he says he is. Don’t you get that?”

“Why do you have so much faith in that guy?” Peter asked taking a left turn.

“Why don’t you?” I countered.

“Because I know him and I know that he’s going through all this stuff just to get what he wants?” he stated.

I rolled my eyes but he couldn’t really see me since I was staring outside the window. “But don’t you think he can change?” I asked him and wished that he’d give me a serious answer but he just stayed quiet.

“I don’t know,” he said after a few seconds. “But then again, I’ve never seen him act like this. I mean he does things to get something he wants but nothing overrated like what he did in the kitchen.” He told me and I looked at him. “I guess you’re special,”

I blushed as I turned away. “Oh, before I forget, what’s the deal with Zack and Ryan anyway?”

“You really don’t want to get into that crap,” he warned with a mischievous smirk.

“How would you know?” I asked him but he shook his head.

“Well it’s pretty messy,” he said as soon as he parked the car inside the garage.

“I’m sure I can handle it,” I said and he looked at me after taking the keys out of the ignition.

“Well, there was this one time where Zack brought his girlfriend of about 3 weeks or so to this party Ryan threw at his house and Ryan just couldn’t keep his hands off her and things just got ugly from there,” he explained.

“Did they go at each other?” I asked.

“Verbally and physically,” Peter answered as we both got out of the car.

The cold night breeze hit me as soon as I opened the car door. I shut it before walking around the car to head to the front door. Peter told me that Ryan and Zack haven’t been on good terms ever since then and that Zack never really hung out with us when he had someone special with him because he didn’t want a repeat of what transpired on the night of that party.

“So they’ve never settled that ever since?” I asked and Peter shook his head.

“How in the world can you get over something like that?” he asked rhetorically. “Besides, you and I both know that if you cross him once, you can never get back on his good side.” I nodded in agreement as he used the keys to let both of us in.

Once we got inside, Peter went to his room and I went into mine. I changed into shorts and a tank top and brushed my teeth. I don’t really know how I’ll be able to sleep tonight with so many things running through my head but I might as well try.

Once I got out of the bathroom, I got on my bed and grabbed the bottle of lotion that I unpacked from my bag. I spread it all over my arms and legs and thought that it could distract my thoughts from thinking about the whole Zack and Ryan situation. I mean I think Ryan is really nice and I think being with him would be a good thing but I don’t want to risk losing Zack while I try and have a relationship with Ryan. Why can’t everyone just get along?

I checked the clock and realized that it was already 12:34 AM. I shut the lamp off and hid under the covers hoping to get some sleep but I only ended up rolling around. I was tired but I couldn’t shut my brain off and let my mind rest. I sighed as I got up and went down the stairs. I never really got a chance to see what were in the rest of the rooms in this house so I guess now is the best time.

I started downstairs where the kitchen and the living room were found. The rest of the rooms held either bathrooms or closets. Behind another door was a pantry. There was a door by the stairs with a sign saying: ‘Authorized Personnel Only’. I didn’t really think it was a warning seeing that I lived in the house too so I opened the door and turned on the switch at the side. When the light flickered on, I faced a staircase leading to what I’m guessing is a basement. I went down the stairs and realized that it was getting sorta creepy but I watched too many horror movies to think that there might be any ghosts down there.

Once on the last step, I switched on another light and saw a grand piano on the left side of the room with chairs surrounding it. There were guitars and drums and a recording booth. Peter actually had a studio in his house? I wonder how he managed to find the money to pay for all of the equipment.

Looking around and seeing no one, I sauntered over to the piano and slid my fingers right on the keys immediately feeling all sentimental again. I really shouldn’t keep myself away from music. It’s practically the only thing keeping me alive right now. So once I got to sit on the chair, I started playing and pouring my heart and soul to the song that my fingers were making.

“I’m searching for that missing part of me
That I know is right in your heart
And this feeling is creeping in my skin
It’s eating me whole and taking you in…

Its taking you in, its taking me in
And time crashes like waves on me and it feels like…

I need you more, all of you, all of you
I need you to keep me in your arms
We’ll lie in your bed and never forget
What has become of me,
What has become of you,
What has become of us...”

Tears started flowing and all of a sudden, I felt arms wrap around me telling me that it was all gonna be okay. I wish I could believe Zack but somehow, I still couldn’t.