I'm a Walking Travesty

“Ryan! Why the fuck did you do that?!” I exclaimed as I got up and pushed him hard in the chest.

“I’m trying to show you that that guy over there is nothing but an asshole who just can’t seem to keep his penis in his pants,” he said furiously.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I muttered.

I turned to look at Zack who was holding his face up. Fortunately, he didn’t lose any blood but he wasn’t letting that go. Knowing Zack, he’d strike back and never give up until the guy’s tortured enough for his liking.

I clenched my teeth together as I watched the tension rise. But before I could say anything to stop the argument, Ryan broke the ice, “I bet he didn’t tell you everything,” he started to say. I looked at Ryan intently before looking back at Zack who looked too angry to say anything. He had this look on his face that almost threatened Ryan.

“What are you trying to say?” I asked stepping closer to them so none of them would strike at each other. I knew that with me in the middle, they wouldn’t dare fight. I just came from the hospital about a week ago and I don’t think they’d want a repeat of that.

“This guy over here isn’t who you think he is. He’s the very definition of a manwhore. You should ask him how many girls he’s dating right now. Oh, wait he might lie and tell you that it’s just you but truthfully, he’s going out with hundreds of them. Even the one I recently hooked up with,” Ryan mentioned making me turn my head to Zack who was just about ready to get his hands dirty.

“Believe me when I say that there’s just you in my life right now,” Zack said reverting his attention for me and shifting it back to Ryan in a split second.

“Tsk, right now?” Ryan smirked. “What poor choice of words, Merrick.”

“Zack, are there other girls?” I finally asked as I stood right in between them.

Zack looked down at me and softened his expression a little before nodding. “But that was weeks ago,” he tried to explain but I was so far from wanting to hear any of it.

Satisfied with what unfolded, Ryan turned away and left us without another word. I could tell that he was smiling the whole walk back to where he was supposed to be in the first place.

I watched as Zack turned away from me. He clasped his fingers at the back of his head and broke them apart in anger. Tears were streaming down my face. I can’t believe he – of all people – would do this to me. This was low. Even for him.

“Zack, I thought you love me,” I said wiping my face.

When he didn’t answer directly, I spun on my heel and started to run away. I wasn’t able to get that far though. He grabbed my wrist and spun me back towards him. He placed his arms around me and locked me down but I kept pushing him away. I didn’t want to be near him. I didn’t want to breathe the same air. I didn’t want his skin touching mine. Everything about him was a lie. I couldn’t even breathe anymore. His grip on me was slowly suffocating me.

I kept sobbing and sobbing until finally I calmed down. He always did that when I cried and back then, I used to think it was a pretty sweet gesture but now, nothing disgusted me more. I felt sick to my stomach and I wanted this world to just disappear. I wanted to wake up in a place where all I was ever going to be was happy. I didn’t want this life. There are only so many travesties I can handle.

“Please let me explain,” he said pulling apart a few inches. He still had a hold on my hand so I couldn’t run away and face my problem.

“What is there to explain Zack? What Ryan said pretty much summed it all up,” I said frustratedly as I tried to take my hand back.

“Look, before you and I were even together--”

“Are you seriously trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be mad because that was all before we were ‘together’?” I complained in such disbelief. My impatience was getting to him but he really couldn’t do anything about it.

“Tell me Zack, why did you bring me here? Did you bring me here to hurt me even more? Show me your wonderful lifestyle of how you can date anything that has boobs and a vagina? How you can make girls fall in love with you and break them apart in the end? Is that really why I’m here? Because as of this moment, I’m slowly starting to regret not hanging myself when I had the chance to.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” he said through clenched teeth. My words got to him in a bad way. He was angry now. I didn’t know what he was capable of anymore but hopefully it will be enough to take me out of this planet for good.

“Or what, huh? You’ll dump me? Break my heart and shove it down my throat? Tell my mother and ship me back to where she is? You can’t do anything more to hurt me because I’m already bleeding inside out,” I told him as more tears sprung from my eye lids.

Zack was silent. He didn’t have anything more to say and I was glad that I had the last word. I didn’t feel guilty at all for everything that I said to him. He deserved each vile word that came out of my mouth. He let go of my wrist with this really pained look on his face.

“Look, all I wanted to say was that no other girl ever made me feel the way you did. No one ever gave me the kind of love affection that I got from you and once you came back into my life, everything just stopped. It made me realize that fooling around with all those other girls wasted so much of my time. I didn’t need that temporary pleasure that those actions provided me with. I needed the permanent happiness that I have with you,” he said grabbing my hand which I took away quickly.

“You don’t get to do that, Zack. You can’t just turn the tables and make me the guilty culprit. I’m not the one who did something wrong here. It was you!” I exclaimed as I tried to walk away but he grabbed me by the waist and engulfed my body in his arms.

“I know what I did was wrong and stupid but we’re here now,” he said spinning me around. His hold on me loosened as he placed his hands on my sides. He lifted my chin up so I could face him and said, “Let’s just forget this all happened and start the day over where we were both happy.”

I tried to think of an answer but thinking did no good. The answer was crystal clear in my head and it consisted of only one word.

“No,”

I ran away from him as fast as I could to an unknown direction. I never wanted to see him again.