Wishes (Year One)

“My name is Tashia by the way.” The girl said as she brought me hot chocolate as I was curled up to a ball on her couch.

“I'm Samantha.” I muttered, taking a sip of the hot liquid in my hands. It slid down my throat with ease.

“So what happened?” She questioned quietly, while looking at me. I ran one hand through my hair and I just completely opened up. No stopping or anything. It all just came up like word vomit. She shook her head after I was done.

“Sounds like Oliver is a real Chav.” She muttered.

“You really never have met him?” I furrowed my eyebrows together.

“No. But I know 'is band. It's not really the music I prefer to listen to but it ain't the worst, ya know?” She shrugged. I just nodded. I didn't even know this girl and I opened up with her like she's been my best friend since I was 2. I told her everything, even about back when I heard from that doctor in the states. He face fell when I had told her and she got a bit teary. Tashia was different than most of the girls I would find, running down the streets of Sheffield. She didn't have piercings or tattoos covering her face or body. She didn't wear completely skanky clothes, She seemed small and quiet. She was kinda tall though.

“How old are you?” I asked as I looked at her over the top of my mug.

“18. I just got out of sixth form. I plan on going to college for nursing.” She smiled. She looked like she would make a great nurse. She had taken care of my small cuts that I had gotten when we clashed on the street. She was sweet and seemed innocent. I looked at the time. The clock read, “5:25 p.m.” I sighed.

“I should get home, even though I know those two jerks will be there.” I said while standing up. She did too.

“Ok. Well if you ever need someone to talk to, ya can call. I will give ya meh number so ya can call if ya need anything.” She smiled and she got a pen and a paper and wrote down her number, handing it to me. I smiled thankfully.

“Thank you for all of this. I really appreciate it all.” I said. She pulled me into a hug. It was a weird hug either. Like I said earlier. Something about us clicked like with Savvy.

“No problem. Call me up if they are ever giving you a hard time. I will give em a run for their moneh.” She smiled brightly and laughed a little. I couldn't help but to laugh also. I found myself thinking when I walked back through Sheffield, surprised that I even found my way back. I was thinking about what Chris said. It really hit me hard. I wasn't a whore. I knew that much.

I walked through the door just to find Oliver still here along with Chris but they had more friends over. I recognized them to be some of the people they introduced to me at the party. Tom was there too. He looked at me and gave a small wave. I guess his wave made other noticed I was here and soon enough I was being called into the room. I could see Chris' jaw tighten as I walked into the living room. Oliver just found the show they were watching very interesting.

“What's up, Sammeh?” Matt K. asked. I shrugged.

“Just went for a walk.” I said simply.

“In yer p.j.s?” Tom asked I laughed and nodded my head.

“Yes. I didn't bother to change. I figured why even bother.” I said. He just nodded.

“She figured that she looked like a slut enough to leave the house.” Chris muttered like I couldn't hear it. I always caught little things like this that Chris did. I shot him a look. Apparently everyone heard him too cause then tension was thick in the room. I could feel it.

“Well I take that as my cue to go. I will talk to you all some other time maybe.” I said quietly.

“No. No. No. You don't 'ave to go, Sammeh. Stay for a bit.” Curtis said. I instantly started to bite my nails nervously. I always did this when I was nervous. I know it was a nasty habit but I couldn't help myself.

“No I should. You guys are here for my brother. I will see ya around.” I turned on my heel and began to walk upstairs.

“We're 'ere for ya too!” I think Lee called after me.

“Stop trying to stop her. Just let her go be friendless in her room like she's always been.” I heard Chris say. I dropped my head as I walked into my room and closed the door. I sat on my bed and dialed Savvy's number and put the phone to my ear.

“'Ello?” A voice chirped form the other line.

“Hey. It's Samantha.” I said.

“Course I knew it was ya. I 'ave yer number in meh cell. What's up? 'Ow are things with Douche bag One and Two?” I sighed.

“Not good at all. They came around finally today. Chris started calling me a whore and just putting me down and being rude. Your cousin just sat there. I tried to explain my story but Chris still didn't care.” I said as I tried to blink away the tears trying to fall from my eyes.

“What Chavs.” She muttered. “I'm gonna 'ave teh castrate those bitch arse fuckers when I get back over there.”

“You're the second person to say that today.” I laughed.

”Who else said it?” I explained what happened with Tashia.

“Jeez ya didn't open that much with me. I feel 'urt.” She laughed. I was glad she was only joking. ”Oh and by the way, my mom is sendin' me teh Oli's 'ouse this upcoming Friday. She wants me to stay for a while cause she's taking a trip to Russia with her new boyfriend.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yes! And then you can meet Tashia and we all can hang out.” I smiled.

”Yup. And I figure that I won't be at Oli's 'ouse most of the time so ya might want teh ask yer parents if I could stay there for a while.” She laughed out. I nodded even though she couldn't see me. We wrapped up our conversation and then ended it. There was a knock at my door.

“Come in.” I said. Tom poked his head in.

“We ordered pizza. There's some for ya if ya wanna come down and eat with me.” He smiled and nodded. I got up and followed him downstairs. Chris just stared at me as I followed behind Tom to the kitchen. After we got pizza, we sat at the table. I heard footsteps then Curtis came and sat with us.

“What's crack-a-lackin'?” He laughed. I shrugged as I took a bite of my pizza. Curtis got up and got some too and then sat back down.

“Ya sure yer gonna be able teh finish that?” Tom asked as he eyed my plate. It had three other pieces on it besides the one I was eating. I just laughed.

“It actually might not be enough.” I laughed. He did too along with Curtis. I heard a loud noise from the other room and then stomping. It got closer and closer until it was right behind me. My chair was spun around

“You know, Samantha. When I said find someone to mess with and try to fuck besides Oli, I didn't mean his best friend or his little brother!” Chris yelled at me. This was too much. I didn't deserve this. I looked down at the ground. “Look at me!” My eyes snapped to Chris'.

“Chris man, she's not doin' anythin'. Calm down a bit man.” Curtis said from behind me now. He pointed at Curtis.

“Don't tell me what to do with my sister. You have no clue.” he said. Curtis didn't interfere anymore.

“You apparently have no clue.” It slipped from my mouth. I snapped a hand over my mouth after I said it. He stared at me.

“Really? Then enlighten me. Enlighten all of how you are not a whore and didn't basically dry fuck Oli.” Chris spat at me. Tears spilled from my eyes.

“It wasn't even like that Chris!” I yelled a little. I was beginning to panic. My insides felt all tightened. I felt like crawling into a hole and dying. Why did Chris have to do this in front of his friends? I tried to wipe away my tears.

“Then what was it like? You just couldn't stop yourself?!” He shouted in my face. He was blowing this way out of proportion. Tears poured even more.

“You're acting like it has happened a million times, Chris. It only happened this once and I'm not the only one to blame. You're taking this to far. We shouldn't be doing this in front of your company.” I said going to stand up. He pushed me back in my seat.

“No! I will do this whenever I fucking feel like it! What happened to the old Samantha? The one who didn't try to fuck my friends. The one who would touch drugs and alcohol with a ten foot pole. The one who would always be the one there to cover for my ass and stop me from making a fool of myself?!” That was this was about. I knew the Oliver thing wasn't the reason behind this.

“That is what this is about, Chris. It isn't about me and Oliver. It is about the fact that you won't let me live the way I want to. It's about how I am going to do the same things you are and you don't want that. I'm almost 18, Chris. I need to live my life. if I want to drink or smoke or go to a party, I'm going to.” I said simply. I was holding myself together now, kind of.

“You're just killing yourself faster!” he yelled. There he was. I could see him a little in his eyes. I could see the hidden reason.

“You are too! You act like you don't touch the stuff.” I scoffed.

“It's a completely different story with you! You're- YOU!” I know what he meant and I was thankful that he didn't yell it out. I couldn't say anything. I just stared at him. I could see the Chris that I loved, disappearing by the second. “But you know what,” he said icily as he stood up straight in front of me. It was drop dead quiet in this house except for me and Chris. No one dared to move. “I hope that it does get to you quickly like that doctor said. I hope it eats you away faster, leaving nothing.” he spat. That one had to hurt the most maybe besides the other comment he made earlier about how I should die. This was basically the same thing.

I don't know what happened but an electricity ran through my body and down my arm causing my to swing my open hand and collide my hand with Chris cheek. he looked shocked. Shit I was shocked. I hadn't ever hit anyone in my life. Never. But I figured he was the one who deserved it at this moment. I stood up and pushed passed him and ran upstairs, to my sanctuary and cried and cried into my pillow.