Just Admit That You Love Me

“I love you so much,” Rylee said wrapping his arms around me from behind while I tried to concentrate on cooking some food for us. He had arrived last night and I couldn’t bear to not be around him for even a second. I mixed around the scrambled eggs on the frying pan for a few seconds before Rylee kissed my shoulder and then took over for me.

“I’m not that horrible at making breakfast,” I said leaning against the fridge and watching him work his magic. He was always the type to cook for me and make amazing meals that I’d never tried before. That was just one more thing I loved about Rylee. He’d poked around at the marriage thing with me before but I told him that we were too young. He was still trying to get me to change my mind about it though.

“Always jealous of the master cook in the house,” He said smirking at me. I walked over to him and turned off the stove, already knowing that eggs were done. I watched him place the eggs on a plate and bring them over to the table where all the other food was. I brought over some plates and utensils for us and sat down across from him. I was so happy that he was here and able to spend some time with me. It was sad knowing that he would be gone by Tuesday.

“I am not jealous!” I said putting some eggs, bacon and toast onto my plate. “I made the bacon and I’m sure it tastes amazing,” I watched him as he grabbed a piece from the plate and took a bite of it, chewing it slowly and without an expression on his face. Okay, so now he was just being unfair. I looked at him hoping that he would talk soon and tell me what he thought.

“Not bad, not bad, you could have left it on a little longer though,” He said and I kicked him lightly in the leg. “I’m kidding!” He said laughing. We finished eating and then put everything away and washed the dishes. He came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me like before. I turned around and put my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“I love you, Mikenna,” He said and then before I had time to say it back he crashed his lips against mine. The kiss was raw and fierce and in a way passionate. I found myself wanting more of it and so pressed him closer to me. He pushed me against the closest wall and then picked me up so that my legs were wrapped around him. I ran my fingers through his hair and continued kissing him.

He brought me over to the table and sat me down on it as he started to kiss all around my neck. I moaned out when he found my sweet spot and tried pulling him closer to me. Closer, closer, all I wanted was for him to be closer to me, for us to become one. Without realizing it, I pulled off his shirt, leaving him with his bare chest and him himself gorgeous. He pushed me down on the table and then climbed on top of me.

Our lips connected again and the kiss was becoming so passionate and deep that I didn’t even try to stop him when he started to unbutton my cardigan. It was the only thing besides my bra that I had been wearing and now it was off of me and on the floor below us. I felt my hands trail up and down his stomach and then back up to his hair where I tangled my fingers through it. I loved being able to feel him like this, to experience him like this.

“You’re fucking kidding me right?” A voice yelled into the room. I recognized it right away and quickly jumped off the table to grab my cardigan. I put it on and stared into his deep blue eyes. I felt foolish as soon as I saw him, I felt like an idiot for doing all of this with Rylee. He made me feel like I would have regretted it, if I went through with it and I knew that I probably would have.

“Well this is awkward,” Rylee said intertwining his fingers with mine. He was obviously not afraid of Braxton for some reason. Just standing here with his gaze fixated on me made me uncomfortable and so I walked into my room, dragging Rylee with me.

“Stay here, okay? I need to go somewhere and talk to him,” I said and he just shrugged, eyeing me suspiciously. I guess this wasn’t exactly something he would approve us seeing as I told him Braxton kissed me already on the phone while we were here. Well I didn't tell him it was Braxton exactly, but I had a feeling he knew it was. It didn’t matter though because he knew that Braxton and I were really close and he knew that even if this caused a fight between us I was going to talk to him. Which was probably why he didn’t say anything.

I walked out of the room and shut the door, walking back to the kitchen. Braxton wasn’t there and so I ran to the front door and opened it. I saw him walking over to the elevator and started running after him; how long was this hallway? “Braxton!” I shouted out to him. He turned around and waited for me with his arms crossed and for a second I saw something different in his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to walk in on that. I know how over protective you are and how you probably didn’t want to see someone that’s like your sister doing that. It was going to happen eventually I’m just sorry you had to witness it,”

“God, you don’t get it do you,” He said raising his hands and walking towards me, filling in the gap that I left between us. I found myself connected with his eyes and unable to look away. He placed his hands on my hips and brought me closer to him. I felt butterflies start to attack my stomach and I knew what was coming, why wasn’t I doing anything to stop it?

I didn’t look away from him as he leaned and inched his face closer and closer to mine. I felt myself forgetting everything in my life and everything around us. It was just me and him and I couldn’t take it any longer, he was going so slow, wanting to know if I would look away but I did the opposite. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers through his hair and kissed him.

I could feel the passion already and I felt myself hungry for more. I may have wanted more and more of him but I also had a boyfriend who loved me and so I felt myself pull away. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, why did I do that? Why did I want more? I took a step back while staring into his eyes. He tried to take a step closer to fill in the gap again but I stretched my arm out and pushed my hand against his chest and looked down. I felt him breathing in and out quickly and noticed that I was too.

“I can’t do this,” I said while shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I didn’t regret what just happened which was strange but I felt myself wishing that it hadn’t happened in a non-regretful way. This was going to complicate so much for us and for Rylee.

“You love me,” He said and now I looked at him. I didn’t know what I felt for him and it bothered me. I was confused about all of this; I mean I was the one who kissed him this time. Why did I do this to myself? I had the opportunity to turn away but I didn’t, instead I pulled him closer and started the kiss sooner.

“I can’t,” I said shaking my head, “I love Rylee,” I could feel his anger radiating off of him and I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. We had never been in this situation before and I wasn’t sure what to do. He backed away from me and started pacing around the hallway. I was praying that Rylee would listen to me and stay in the room.

“You don’t love him,” He said still pacing. I just wanted him to calm down and talk to me without all of this love stuff in the way. “And he doesn’t love you,” I crossed my arms over my chest and felt water start to build up in my eyes. I couldn’t believe he just said that. He was upset, I get it but he didn’t have to tell me that the guy I’ve been dating for 3 years didn’t love me.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” I said as the tears started rolling down my cheeks. He looked at me but didn’t do anything to comfort me and right now I didn’t expect him to. He kept pacing and I was wondering if he was ever going to stop and look at me but I was scared of what he might do. I half expected him to go and beat the shit out of Rylee and I half expected him to just walk away but he didn’t do either of those things, well not until he said one last thing.

“Ask Rylee how he feels about Tristyn,” He said and then he walked down the hallway and used the stairs instead of taking the elevator. I just stood there confused about what he just said. What did he mean by that? Tristyn hated Rylee, and Rylee hated Tristyn. I clearly already knew how he felt about her.

I walked back to my hotel and into my room where I left Rylee. He was just sitting there on his phone, texting away. He’d texted all last night as well, since when did he start to use his phone that much. I laid down on the bed and pulled him down beside me, wrapping my arms around him. I wasn’t going to tell him about the kiss this time because there was just too much drama involved with it.

“Are you okay?” He asked as I cried into his shirt. He started to play with my hair waiting for me to answer him. He knew I wasn’t okay; he just wanted to know why I wasn’t okay. I sat up and crossed my legs, looking at him, wiping away my tears. I figured that it was now or never.

“How do you feel about Tristyn?” I asked and he just looked at me. I didn’t know what was going through his mind because I didn’t know the answer that I was going to get. I just waited patiently for him to answer me even though it was driving me up the wall.

“I don’t like her, you know that,” He said and there was something in his voice that I didn’t like. I suddenly felt like pushing him further. Why would Braxton tell me to ask him this if it wasn’t serious? I just looked at him apparently waiting for something magical to happen. He was looking at me weirdly; I hadn’t seen this look on him before. It was guilt mixed with pleading.

“Are you sure?” I asked not wanting to give up. He just sat up and kissed me on the lips and pulled me down on top of him. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat; it was racing. “Are you sure?” I repeated looking up and connecting my eyes with his.

“I’m sure,” He said kissing my forehead.