Love That Leaps Without A Shove

I woke up hours later, the room was pitch black except for a lamp switched on in the far corner. Joe was nowhere to be found. I was calmer than before, that’s for sure. Why had such crazy thoughts enthralled me, I did not know.

My nose was hurting… I found a tissue and blew hard. Finally, I could breathe and smell. The scent that rose up to my nostrils almost knocked me off my feet. I hadn’t noticed the haze around the room; it looked like I was caught in heavy traffic and all the cars had broken exhaust pipes. If I wasn’t smart, I would have thought there was fog, but such weather phenomena never occurred in rooms or any indoor places.

I could see a tiny little dim light. It stayed in one place and every so often, it would go up and then down again.
God I loved and hated the smell of pot… I walked to the source of all that.

“Hey,” I mumbled uncomfortably, sitting down cross-legged on the floor, across him. He was on the floor as well, leaning against the wall.
He had the most serene look on his face, complete relaxation you could say. His mouth was slightly parted and he was just sitting there, doing nothing.

He greeted my presence by handing me the joint. I looked down at the ashtray, he’d already had three. Who was I to deny any recreational drug anyway? I took the joint and let it rest on my lips, taking a deep puff and letting the smoke settle down inside me.
I coughed, almost choking on air.

He laughed, the kind of laugh you get when you’re not able to feel what you’re doing, the kind of laugh you have when you’re totally high.
I didn’t give him the joint back, I continued taking small drags. It had been a long time since I had smoked anything illegal. Hell, being with these guys, I had turned into a raging alcoholic and now, a pothead.

“So why are you sitting here smoking all alone? I asked.

He spread his legs out on the carpet. “First, I’m not alone… and secondly, I needed to clear my mind.”
The words he spoke were so laid-back, as if he didn’t give a damn. They rolled out of his mouth lazily, taking their time. No wonder they called him King of Cool. No matter what he did, he was still the person that everybody wanted to be.

“Clear your mind?”

He nodded. “I’m stressed about all this… fuck, I’m getting married.”
I controlled my laugh; he had just realized that he was getting married. It was dawn right now, the dawn of Friday. He had realized all this just two days before his wedding.

“Are you having second thoughts?” I asked hopefully.

“No,” he answered simply. His eyes were fixed on the floor, the only movement he did was bring the joint to his mouth.

I thought that this was my chance, my opportunity to seize right at this very moment. It had been a long time since I had kissed him… it was time that it happened again.
With baby movements, I approached him, trying to read any signals of his that would say that he wanted me to stay the fuck away from him. Nope, he was somewhere far far away right now.

My hand rested against his cheekbone and he looked up. How could that bitch hurt him and hit him and abuse him? Couldn’t she see she was the luckiest woman alive? He had pain in his eyes, pain that she probably caused him.
My hand caressed his soft face; not an inch of stubble, he shaved daily. Our eyes were locked on each other but his were hazy, looking a bit droopy but still, the gaze was strong.

My left hand held his shoulder as I inched my head closer to his. I would have done this quickly because I really wanted to smash my face against his and kiss the shit out of him. But I wanted to be sure he wouldn’t react badly… and so far, there hadn’t been any kind of reaction.

“Lily…”

My lips were barely a centimeter away. I closed the distance, tasting the pot on his constantly-pouted lips. They were thin but plump, like they had always been. I wanted this kiss to be a simple peck but I stayed there longer.
His lips were like an abyss, sucking me in and not letting me go. I tried to hint that I wanted more of this, make the kiss deeper, I wanted to taste his mouth again, I had to.

But he pushed me away clumsily, as if he had just realized what happened.

“I can’t do this… I don’t want to do this! Get out of here!” he shouted.

I stood up, terrified. How could such a horrible thing happen right after something great? I had just kissed him and then this! I slammed the door shut and stood still for a moment and headed towards Tom’s room.

I furiously knocked on his door without stopping and thinking that it wasn’t even day out. Still, I continued pounding on his door until he would open.

Five minutes later, his door opened and he stood there, looking like he had risen from a grave.

“What the fuck?” he groaned, “can I just sleep for once without being interrupted?”

Then, he saw me standing there, angry, upset and 100 more emotions tangled in me that he shrugged and stepped aside, granting me entrance to his room.

“Do you know what time it is?” he asked yawning. “Its four am.”

“Okay…” I said, sitting on his bed. “So… I kissed Joe.”

He had been in the process of taking out a bottle of water out of the fridge and almost dropped it. He turned his head to me and stared at me like he was a deer caught in headlights. He looked weird too, his hair was messy on one side while the other was neat.

“You kissed Joe? Oh my… fuck, what were you thinking? He’s getting married in two days!”

“You think I don’t know that? I don’t want him to marry her! He deserves someone better!” I shouted back.

“Someone like you?” he asked, looking me in the eyes. “Sounds selfish don’t you think?”

I avoided his penetrating gaze. “Anyone but her… fuck, I should have never let him go in the first place. Why, why was I so scared of being intimate with somebody?”

“I don’t know… maybe you somehow always knew he was the one? Or maybe you’re just a fucked up person,” he said, trying to be serious but couldn’t quite suppress that grin.

My brain couldn’t find a comeback to that, so I resigned and collapsed on the silly little couch he had. I wasn’t sleepy, since I had just woken up but my biological clock was confused since the sun hadn’t even come up.
Tom went to his bed and pulled the covers over him. Right when we started enjoying the silence, somebody knocked on the door.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Tom said to himself, throwing the covers and grumpily walking to the door. I sat up a bit to see who it was.

Brad, in only his boxers, looking like he was sleep-walking.

“What now? What did I do to deserve this?” wailed Tom, throwing his arms up in the air.

Brad rubbed his eyes. “Joe’s decided to act all rockstar and trash his room, don’t know why… I’m right next to him and couldn’t sleep… he must be going crazy, at one point, he screamed to himself to get out…”

Tom and I exchanged glances. Shit.

Brad went to Tom’s bed, making himself at home and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Tom huffed and found his spot once again on his bed, this time sharing it with a man. How straight…

I closed my eyes and thought. Joe was renovating his room thanks to my fucking antics. I pissed him off, I wondered if that would be the end of our friendship. Probably. I hugged myself and sighed, this was going to be a long night… or morning.

Knock.

I mentally cursed and Tom screamed in his pillow.

I got up, opened the door and saw Joey.

“Wait, this is Tom’s room. What are you doing here?” he asked, looking very confused.

“What are you doing here?”

He rolled his eyes. “Stop repeating what I said.”

“Stop repeating what I said,” I answered back, thinking about when was the perfect time to hit him straight in the nuts. He pushed me aside and glanced around.

“Why is Brad sleeping with Tom?”

“Night terrors. Also known as Joe Perry, don’t ask… I am out of here, enjoy your stay in the room that tonight decided to host everybody.”

With that, I left and slammed the door behind me. I didn’t care if I was disturbing everybody else staying in this fucking hotel.
I needed a drink, I needed a smoke, I needed to get laid and currently, none of those things were within reachable distance.

I took a walk around the floor, thinking of ways to kill time. I certainly wasn’t in the mood or mental state to take a walk around the city; especially after what had happened with that psycho that had threatened me with the knife.
I took the elevator to the lobby, walking past the front desk and heading out to the pool, following the little signs that indicated the way.

Of course nobody was there. Perfect.

I lied down on a sun bed and chilled, feeling like a corpse. It was a bad mistake coming here in the first place, I should have stayed in Boston. I would have kept myself busy with work, or anything. Screw Joe and his ego, how dare he demand I be at the wedding?
Joe and I were nothing, we weren’t related, we weren’t anything of importance. He had other friends, he had his band with him, why in god’s name would he want me to be there? Why had he persisted? He had what he dreamed of. A soon to-be wife, money, fame… okay, maybe Elyssa hadn’t been what he had dreamed of but then again, why the fuck would he propose to her and ask her to marry him? He was a sissy, a fucking pansy for letting that woman boss him around.

If I were him, I would have beat her senseless. It sounds horrible and I would have never let a man hit me but if I were a man and Elyssa was my woman, I would have knocked her around a bit, to say the least.
If I were in a relationship and my boyfriend bit me in the face, I would have send him to the hospital. Not that I’m a psycho that likes to beat people, but that kind of behavior is unacceptable.

And what Steven had said, about Elyssa brainwashing Joe; it sounded serious. Was Steven really that afraid that the band was gonna be harmed? Ever since I knew Joe, music was his passion and Aerosmith were his dream come true… I could never imagine him doing something else and not being with Steven, Tom, Joey and Brad.

Maybe I should kill her… Nah, that would be when Joe would never talk to me again, and most likely press charges.
Ruin the wedding. Fuck, knowing that Joe was going to be giving me a cold shoulder just make things harder. So that meant I had to ruin her wedding on a different level, I had to trash it, embarrass her in front of everybody. Oh boy, being bridesmaid just made my life better, who would have thought.

I was going to re-dye my hair, so it would be nice and bold, do exactly what she feared of, me stealing her thunder.

As the sun slowly climbed its way up towards the sky, I had another brilliant idea. Elyssa, get ready to meet the biggest bitch of them all.

**

It was late afternoon and I was by the pool, with my legs in the water, sipping on a cocktail I had charged on Brad’s bill, along with all the previous drinks and services I had requested while tanning. I had decided to spoil myself by ordering a masseur from the hotel’s spa to lather me and massage me with oil.

Now for someone that didn’t know me, they’d think I was just enjoying myself, having some fun in the sun.
Most people that had lived around me knew I tanned easily, which is why I never really liked staying in the sun for too long. It was in my genes to tan and get a color very easily; I blame my father for that. By the time noon rolled around, I had a nice healthy shade on my skin.

But by having oil on me, hell, I was going to be brown, quite a difference from my normal color. It was a dumb plan but Elyssa was going to flip out. I could just picture the contrast of my skin in that cabbage-colored dress.

I giggled evilly out loud.