My Ex-Rock Star Boyfriend

Have you ever been to the beach in California? If so, then you’ll understand that it is the PERFECT place for a couple in the evening. Not a lot of people are there, there are a lot of hiding places, and the weather is perfect for practically any beach activities. My mom used to say, “California beaches are nice, but a mother with her child is even better.” Yeah, don’t ask how I remember that, because I don’t know. I guess my mom I a hippy, well, he IS a hippy. So all of those deep and suggesting quotes usually come from her. And that gross hippy smell.....

Eric and I decided to go to Taco John. Ha that was unpredictable! You thought I was going to say a California beach right? Well you should know that things are ALWAYS backwards with me. And yes, we wore swimming suits there.

“Do you like to take pictures?” I asked Eric. He looked at me unusually, considering we were talking about what beef is made out of....Yeah don’t ask.

“Um, I guess so why?” I shrugged.

“I like to take them. It captures a moment, a memory, it makes history.” He nodded eagerly.

“I know! I love photography! Seeing what happened in the past, and marking something special.” He looked directly into my eyes when he said that. I hate that. Not the looking into the eyes thing- well kind of- but how when I ask him he doesn’t answer the question until after I gave my opinion, just so he could be compatible with me. Hasn’t anyone ever heard of opposites attract? I ignored the seducing look he was giving me and slurped my Dr. Pepper loudly. A few heads turned our way in disgust, but others just kept to their own business.

“So do you want to take a picture?” He asked. I looked at him weirdly. Did he not get that I DON’T like liars? I shrugged in boredom.

“I don’t care.” He looked hurt.

“Why wouldn’t you?” He asked with a curious expression. I ignored his question.

“What picture do you want?” I asked him. Okay, so this is where I expected him to say, “You. That’ll be enough to mark a lifetime of fun.” But no....he said something MUCH MORE DEEP.

“I think we should take a picture of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” He said excitingly. Yeah...not what I was expecting either.

“A what?” I asked. He laughed.

“A PB & J. you know....to resemble us.” He said. So now I’m being compared to a sandwich? I feel so special. (Note: sarcasm)

“How does a sandwich resemble us?” I asked.

“They will ALWAYS be together. They are known for being together and no matter what....they’ll always be perfect for each other.” Awwww that’s so freaking cheesy! I smiled at him.

“So....which one am I?” I asked him. He shrugged.

“Jelly.” He said simply. I cracked up laughing.

“Ha! Why...am I....jelly?”

“Because I love jelly. It’s tasty.” He winked. I smirked.

“Good because I think that Peanut Butter....it’s sexy.” I smiled. Eric leaned over and kissed me softly. I moaned quietly.

“Are you seriously going to just stop?” I whined. He shrugged.

“We’ll save the rest for later.” I grinned. I can’t wait for later....

After the whole later thing....we decided to check out what the guys were doing. So usually, this isn’t normally how things are. Normally, I’d either be hooking up with someone with potential (they had a concert today), playing my guitar (LP thank you very much), or I’d be ignoring everyone completely. My dad would be slouched in his chair watching biographies of other great bands with a beer in hand and the guy would either be drunk, at a bar getting drunk, or getting some sleep. Lorenzo might be cleaning up (I swear he’s gay), and the bus driver....don’t ask me they get replaced too quickly.

Today went a little bit differently. I brought my boyfriend over to hang out. Everyone was casual....but the room was tense. Just walking in you could feel the change in the atmosphere. I started to doubt things. I mean what if this is a bad idea? I don’t see why it would be but...I don’t like change. AT ALL. Eric looked at ease. HE didn’t know. He didn’t know ANYTHING. I looked at him. He looked back.

“Well, I think I’m gunna go. My parents are making Mexican food. And I think I’ve been here a bit too long. Later Dylan.” With that he gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the bus. Wow. Everyone was surprised. No one EVER walks out on me; much less my boyfriend. After a second my dad chuckled.

“He’s gay.” He said. I glared at him.

“I thought that about you too the day I met you.” He raised an eye brow.

“Met me? Girl I gave you life!”

“Save it faggot.” He glared at me; adding EXTRA venom. Here’s the thing about my dad. He’ll let you have three beers a week, party with random strangers, crash a party, maybe even show up in PEOPLE magazine with your top off, but he does NOT tolerate cussing. Well...not when it’s directed towards him. So I know that faggot isn’t necessarily a cuss word, but it’s still rude. And my dad just doesn’t do rude. So you can imagine the irony of the phrase “if looks could kill”.

“Dylan Lorie Rogers! You know that you don’t cuss at me just as well as a dog knows he likes other’s shit. So cut the damned crap your giving me and apologize correctly.” See, he’s going easy on me tonight.

“Sorry dad. I won’t do it again. I guess I’ll go to bed. Goodnight.” Imagine me saying this in a very bored and rehearsed voice. I turned around to hide in my room, but my dad was WAY too smart for that.

“You get your little ass over here now.” I did as I was told.

“Now get on your knees.” Okay, now I understand that hearing THAT come out of your DAD’S mouth, being directed at YOU is VERY disturbing. If I wasn’t so scared that he’d kill me I would’ve vomited on his shoes (which were Converse thank you very much). But that wasn’t what he meant. He was sitting, and I was pretty tall so...you can see how difficult that’d really be. I once again did as I was told. He smirked triumphantly.

“Now lick my shoes.” He stated simply. I’m positive my face was a mask of pure horror. Never EVER do I lick someone’s shoes! I may live with a rock star, but I am a girl, and that is just plain NASTY and probably unsanitary.

“Ew no dad that’s just cruel and unusual.” He grinned evilly.

“Do it or I tell the press that your new boy’s gay.” He has reached a whole new level of evil. I shrugged.

“Fine; I was probably gunna break up with him tomorrow anyways.” He looked at me for a minute. I mean YEAH I was lying- I like Eric- but he didn’t need to know that. He-he. He shook his head after observing me.

“Your lying.” It was a statement. I shook my head.

“Fine...I’ll call them now....” I shrugged as if to say ‘go ahead’. He picked up the phone slowly, put it on speaker, dialed a number and.....

“Hello welcome to Dominoes how may I take your order?” Oh yeah, I SO beat his ass! Dad looked sheepish. One VERY similar trait that we both have; we like to win. We are DETERMINED to win. And losing is just about the worst thing ever. Trust me, if it was anything else he would’ve followed through. But gossiping to the press about his unknown daughter’s boyfriend is too.....pretty boy for his taste. He’s the real thing, and that was just NOT real. I say unknown because people still question who I really am. Yeah I know...kind of sad...I think it’s awesome...but....I’m like a ninja you know? And.....ok I’ll stop.

Every time a girl gets a boyfriend that she really likes she want to only hang out with him for the first few weeks am I right? Yes? No. No? Yes. What I mean is, I’m not one of those girls. I’ve spent two days in a row with him...and I don’t want to break up with him because of space issues. Did I text him telling him I wanted to be alone today? No- that would be a lie. Did I call him saying my plans for today? No-that’s MY business. And did I take my phone with me in case he texts or calls wanting to know where I am? HELL no- he’s not my freaking dad. Well...my dad doesn’t do that either but...you get my point.

I felt like....shopping. I don’t know why. But not as in Rue 21, Old Navy, or Hot Topic- though I do love those stores. I decided to go down to the old shopping center down in..... It has a lot of people singing on the streets, old vintage stores, and just a perfect place to chill out. It’s kind of like an outside mall. Normally, my friend Onage (awesome name) is working or just walking around aimlessly. Today, she was working. Darn it. I walked up to her at an easy pace. She looked up as I arrived. Smiling, she set down her newspaper and gave me a hug. Yeah, when I said she was working, I didn’t mean well.

“What Is up my little short screamer.” Don’t ask. I laughed to myself.

“...boyfriend.” I said simply. Wow, she looked absolutely astounded. Great, now people I haven’t even seen for three months know what I’m like.

“Is this like a new thing? Or are you just experimenting? Have you had more than one...?” The questions were always endless with Onage. After a few minutes she stopped her bickering to listen to me. I sighed.

“God it’s like taking cake from a fat man.” She laughed. Of course, it wasn’t that funny but Onage is just the type of person who laughs at everything.

“Continue.” She said, getting rid of her giggles. I shook my head.

“Ok so...it was nothing.” She looked at me with a cartoon face. You know, when their eyes bug out largely and their jaws literally drop; yeah that’s the one. Her eyebrows bent downward in frustration.

“You know Dylan, I can’t ever get a straight answer from you can I?”

“Well I can’t ever get a straight question from YOU either.” I retorted. Oh yeah, I WILL NOT give up this fight! She rubbed her temples.

“This can be easy or hard...take your pick.” I smirked at her.

“I’m always up for a good old challenge you know.” Ha-ha, I love making people mad.

“Fine! Give me a straight answer or else I’ll have security come and ban you from the WHOLE shopping center.” She said without flinching, winking, or stuttering at all. Damn...she’s good.

“Fine. I’ll have security ban YOU from ALL of my dad’s concerts.” This time she flinched. Like many other people, she’s a big fan of BiteME, so this’ll probably kill her. She had her thinking face on. After a moment she grunted.

“Okay you win. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!AHH!!!COOKIE!!!” WOW. Onage and I are a lot alike, but when it comes to her complete randomness, I’m completely lost.

“Sorry, I got caught up.” She giggled. I rolled my eyes.

“Okay so please tell me.” She said in a small voice. I shook my head fiercely. Honestly, I didn’t know why I was being so stubborn, but I wasn’t going to stop. She swayed slowly, looking up at me with a sly voice. I bit my lip, no way was she going to win. She shuffled towards me a little. I’m gunna break; I knew it. Just a few more seconds....

“Ugh fine.” I said. She squealed in a very girly voice and hugged me.

“Okay so it was like the usual. I went out guy hunting at one of my dad’s concerts, and thought ‘these guys are all losers’ and turned around. But then I smacked into this guy, looked up, and badda bing badda boom I got a new boyfriend!” A smile etched onto her face.

“How’d he ask you?????” I bit my lip. This is the hard part.

“Well...um I kind of asked him...” Her mouth opened agape. Onage is from a very religious family, and they believe that it is ALWAYS the guy who asks, proposes, or anything of that type.

“Why would you do that?!”

“Because I like him and I’m not you.” I said defensively.

“That’s not good enough.” I shrugged.

“You’re not going out with him, I am.” She turned around.

“Fine. I think you should go now. I have to get to work.” Her work? Psh...whatever.

“You don’t “work”.’ I pointed out. She shrugged.

“I need an excuse. GO!” Rawr. Someone’s being pissy moody today. I turned and left without another word.

As I walked the busy streets of San Francisco, I noticed something odd. I was alone, I didn’t have ice cream, and I have a STRONG desire for something. No not the ice cream, well actually, that does sound good. Okay TWO things. I thought about it. A new shirt? No. CD? Uh uh. iPod? No, not even that. MY phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked at the caller. It read....LOVER!!! huh? Who could that be? I answered it.

“Um hello?” I asked.

“Mm you taste good.” Okay this is freaky.

“I have pepper spray.” I warned the guy. He laughed.

“We’re on a phone.” He pointed out. I snorted.

“You think that’ll stop me?” I asked.

“Good point. Well how you doing?” Does he think I know him?

“Who is this?” My voice was shaky.

“Bob.” He said. Was it really....??? No.

“Ha-ha now tell me.”

“Take a guess.” I thought about it.

“No clue.” He sighed.

“Glad to see you’ve forgotten your BOYFRIEND?!” Wait Boyfriend? Oh yeah.....Eric....

“Oh sorry.” I felt whole now....I think I’m turning into one of those girls.

“AHH!!!” I yelled.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I just realized that I have a boyfriend and am turning into a desperate loving girl!” Honesty is the best quality right? I heard him snicker.

“Is that bad?” I huffed. Of course that was freaking bad!

“I’ll talk to you later.” I said. NO!! NO WAY! I HAVE TO TALK...SEE.....HAVE HIM!!! I sighed in frustration at the BIG VOICE that was yelling at me in my head.

“No fair.” He said. I giggled. Oh no....

“Very fair. I need ME time. NOW go shoo.” Maybe just 10 minutes....

“I’m on the phone.” Maybe five....

“I don’t care bye.” I clicked end. Finally... Now what do I do? I just hung up on my boyfriend. I pondered for a minute. Maybe...Nah. I could...Nope. How about...definitely not. Now what did I do before this whole I’m-going-crazy thing? Um...ice cream. I did that. Shopping. Did that. Play music....I don’t want to! Um....man I REALLY don’t have a life. Grudgingly, I called Eric back. Ring. Ring. RING!

“Hello?” He asked sardonically. I rolled my eyes. Typical.

“Yeah...I’d like to order mustard.” I heard a quiet snicker.

“Sorry ma’m but I only sell hot dogs.”

“Yeah sure. Come on I don’t have a life, I need you.” I heard a faint Awwww.

“...Depends.”

“No it does not depend. I am a fucking daughter of a fucking rock star and YOU are my fucking boyfriend. So you do what I say.” I heard an ooooh, you just got told.

“I can break up with you.” Would he....?

“Would you really?” I asked in a serious/mocking way. There was a LOOONNNNNGGGGGGG pause.

“No.” He finally answered. “Dude you are so whipped.” I smiled in triumph.

“Okay so meet me here in five minutes? Ok thanks bye.” And ONCE AGAIN, I hung up.....I don’t like this new habbit.

FINALLY AFTER WAITING SO LONG (one minute) he picked me up. How he knew I was in the weirdest shopping center of Colorado I don’t know....so don’t ask. He rolled down his window. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t open. Eric smiled innocently at me. I glared at him. Do they have to flirt about stupid DOORS? I shrugged and turned around. He laughed at me. Okay...I’m gunna kill him with my dead goldfish.

“what the hell are you laughing at ?!” I asked.

“dude the window is rolled down...you can unlock the door.” I walked back over and, sure enough, he was right.

“Oh.” Such a clever response huh? I unlocked the door and climbed in. he leaned in for a kiss.

“Ew we aren’t married.” I complained.

“So? I can’t kiss you?” I nodded.

“You can. You just can’t do it all lovey dovey like.” I said. He frowned.

“So what? I’m supposed to make it look like a simple fuck?” That would be better.

“No...” I said softly. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes. I needed to come up with something quick and fast.

“Gay baby...” I muttered childishly. He looked over at me with a bemused expression.

“What the fuck?” I shrugged.

“Every time there is an awkward silence a gay baby is born.” I said matter of factly. He nodded. Oh great...AWKWARD. Ok Dylan...time to be normal.

“So I’m in the mood for some movies...and junk food.” I whined.

“So what? You gunna buy a movie theater?” he joked. I glared menacingly at him. Just because I’m my dad’s daughter that DOES NOT mean that I get special treatment.

“No! I wanted to have a movie night.”

“Just us right?” I shook my head. That horny bastard.

“No...I was gunna invite some friends of mine.” I said calmly. His eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“YOU...H-HAVE FRIENDS?!” He says it likes it’s weird.

“Yes...” He nodded.

“Cool.” He’s so stupid. I rolled my eyes and looked around for a piece of paper. I didn’t find any.

“Do you happen to have any paper?” I asked him. He nodded and opened the glove box, which contained a few worn out notebooks. I nodded at grabbed a few.

“Any pens?” He took one out of his pocket and gave it to me. I looked at him weirdly and he gave me a sheepish smile. He keeps pens in his pockets?

“Thanks.” I muttered. I scribbled down a list.

Movie Night
Movies: Mean Girls (classic)
Halloween (original)
Anime (awesome)
Paranormal Activity (freak out Eric)
Scream (stupid)
The Big Bang Theory (great movie)

FOOD: popcorn (duh)
Ice cream (yum)
POP (LOL)
CANDY (everyone loves it)
PIZZA (eh....its okay)

“What are you writing?” Eric asked, looking over my shoulder. I shrugged dismissively.

“No seriously. Is it a break up letter?” Although his tone was joking, I knew he was partially serious. I hate that. Stupid guys always worrying.

“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you how much I hate you.” I said sarcastically.

“It’s a list for tonight.” I said.

“Why a list?” I shrugged. Why not?

“I like lists.” Well it’s true...I really do. He looked at me bewildered.

“What?” He asked, totally not getting it. I rolled my eyes. Do I always have to explain.

“I like to be organized...so lists help me a lot.” He nodded slowly. Looking at his clock, I noticed that it was 6:00. I sighed. I should probably get going.

“Hey take me home will you? I’ll call you when I know more about our movie night okay?” He nodded and bit his lower lip.

“Um....where is your house?” He asked nervously. I laughed.

“Ha! You don’t even know when you stayed the night twice!” He jokingly glared.

“That was a tour bus.” I nodded and shrugged nonchalantly. He looked over at me and raised an eye brow.

“What, you don’t have a real home?” I shook my head.

“Unless you count my mom’s house in Italy, then no. Oh! I do have my own apartment in Seattle....but we’re in LA so...” He nodded.

“Okay, I’ll take you to the bus.” The ride was pure silence. I would’ve thought that Eric had died if he wasn’t driving us. At one point, around 6:30, I sighed loudly.

“You know what?” I asked. He looked over with exhaustion in his eyes.

“Huh?” He asked. I stifled a laugh. The guy’s head was lolling to the side.

“I’m 19, and I’ve never even tried to get my license.” I said randomly. He looked out the window with a look of determination.

“Why not?” I shrugged.

“I guess I always thought I’d be in the bus with BiteME, just live like a rock star the rest of my life.” He nodded casually.

“Well I guess since that’s obviously not the case, we should get you one; tomorrow.” I cocked an eye brow.

“Okay.” I said. Remembering our conversation from earlier I asked him about the voices I heard.

“Hey, what were those voices I heard on the phone?” He made a confused face. Sudenly, realization dawned on him.

“The guys.” He said casually. I raised an eye brow? Seriously?

“And who are “the guys”?’ He shrugged.

“My friends.” He said like it was obvious. Well, I guess it kind of was....

“Oh. When do I get to meet them?” I asked.

“When do I get to meet yours?” He retorted. Ugh...

“You will during our movie night.” If Onage shows up....

“Oh...yeah....okay sure.” I looked at him.

“What?” Stupid guy.

“When do I get to meet them?!” I almost yelled.

“Promise you won’t leave me for one of them.” He said in a totally serious voice. I frowned. What?

“I promise I won’t leave you.” He relaxed and leaned back.

“Movie night.” He said. Oh, I see how it is.

“Cool.” Finally, we reached the bus. Once he parked I looked at him weirdly. How did he...?

“How did you know where the bus was?” He shrugged.

“I don’t know. I guess I just...followed my instincts.” Creeppppppyyy.

“Right.” I said stupidly. He shook his head.

“You better go on home.”

“Yeah...okay come on let’s go.” I said grudgingly. He laughed. Was this really so freaking funny?!

“No. You go. I stay. Good girl.” Hmph...He’s practically calling me a bitch.

“Why? It’s not like the guys will mind or anything.” He looked queasily over to the bus.

“No, I think they might. How about...you stay at my place tomorrow? And we’ll spend the whole day together.” Oh just freaking perfect!

“Um...yeah sure...whatever.” I said carelessly. He looked extremely guilty. I wonder if...? Oh my cheese! I need to stop. I need to stop NOW! In a rush I jumped out of the car. This isn’t going well AT ALL! Taking deep breaths I staggered my way to the bus. I heard someone calling my name behind me. Is it Eric? No. Okay I need to get this under control. I am fucking Dylan fucking Lorie fucking Rogers!!! I don’t let a boy get me crazy. I don’t let “love” get into the picture. I can handle this! I WILL handle this! With a confident stride I turned around and marched back towards Eric.

“Sorry for the drama, it won’t happen again. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that I kissed him on the cheek and walked inside. The whole time he had an extremely confused look on his face. I walked in stomping. I heard laughter. Oh great...

“Did the boy dump you already?” Ha! As if...

“You mean like mom did after the first hello? Nope...I have it all under control.” Maybe the was a little cold. Immediately dad’s face completely drained. He was pale white. Caspar would even be scared of him. I felt extremely guilty. Mom has always been a sore spot for him. Ever since the divorce...he just didn’t work properly. I’ll never end up like that.

“Sorry dad.” I said sighing. He just looked ahead at animal planet. Seriously, what were they doing? Dad hates this channel! I looked back at the guys. Lorenzo looked at me with a scolding face. God I can’t ever win in this...bus!

“Okay I’m going to bed now.” No one responded back to me. Sighing I walked to my room silently. The lights were turned off and my bed spread was still spread across messily. It looked very lonely. I turned on the Japanese styled lamp I had that was next to my bed on the nightstand. The cloth- which was an off white/tan-ish color- made the room glow a faint orange. It was beautiful, but I wasn’t really in the mood for that. I lay on the bed in my clothes. The last thing I thought before I dozed was what a crappy day it has been.

I woke up with a new resolution. I’m going to go back to my life. I’m going to wake up and everything will be the same. The fight with dad never happened, and everybody is going to be happy and welcome me to the living room with bowls of ice cream. I’m going to drive to San Francisco and spend my day living like a hobo and relaxing. It sounds good enough. It sounds manageable.

...too bad life isn’t really like that.

My breath smelled bad, the guys were gone, and we had no ice cream. I didn’t have my license, and life just basically sucked. I sighed. There was a note on the fridge.

Dylan,
Freddie got an unexpected opening for us. There’s a tour in New York for about...a month or so. Sorry hun but you were asleep and-well I know how bored you can get at our concerts. So we flew out this morning and we left you the tour bus. I figured you wouldn’t want to stay at the condo. Anyways we left you $1,000 (Freddie’s gonna kill me). So...if you run out of money-then- call your mom I guess.
See you in a month,
Dad

I sighed and put the not back down. Man...Was I really that bad last night? I looked around the bus. Great, I have a month with this. I thought back to the San Francisco idea...nah some other time. Skipping to the fridge I took out a Sunkist. Orange anything was my weakness. After the Sunkist, I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. The water was blistering hot...just the way I liked it. I nearly moaned into the water. The steam was so relaxing. I took my Tresemme bottle of shampoo and started to put some in my hair when I heard some noise downstairs. I turned my shower off and wrapped a towel around my body. My hair was still dripping wet with soap and water and I was shaking slightly. The noise kept going on. I found a bottle of hair spray and gripped that in my hand. I slowly opened my bathroom door and peered into my room; nothing. The noise continued on in the living room/ kitchen. I opened my room slightly. Some guy in a hoodie was looking around. I took the hairspray and ran out quickly.

“AHHHH!!!” I yelled, hitting the guy in the head. He gasped in surprise and fell down. I turned the guy over and clutched my towel from falling down. It was Eric. Oh, my, god! I glared at him and got up. He was laughing.

“What is your problem? Did you have to scare me like that?” I asked. He nodded and continued laughing. I turned around and marched back to the bathroom.

“No...wait..p-please I’m so...sorry.” He was still laughing; jerk.

“No I’m going to continue my shower. Deal with it.”He laughed and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“Did I saw you could have that?” He looked down at the bottle.

“It was implied...” He said.

“How?” He shrugged.

“Just take your shower will you?” I followed his orders and went to the bathroom. God I love showers...