All They Know Is Misery
Four.
“What happened to Charlie?” I asked Johnny, he was still at his locker, collecting the books he needed for homework.
He looked up at me and smiled, then looked back down at his bag and replied, “I have no clue. But I heard something happened in the science lab. It had something to do with Jimmy, so I can only guess that she had something to do with it too.” Jimmy and Charlie hated each other. It was as simple as that. Put the two together, and something will surly go wrong. So Johnny’s theory made sense.
I didn’t say anything more to Johnny as he packed his stuff up. I was looking in my bag to find my cell phone to text Charlie, when someone bumped into me. I would have fell, but muscular arms caught me. I pushed away from whoever it was and sharply said, “Watch it.”
I looked up into hazel eyes. I knew him as Matt Sanders, one of Jimmy’s friends. “I’m really sorry.” By this time, Johnny was already by my side, making sure I was okay. I mumbled an ‘It’s okay.’ Then he smiled, his dimples coming out, and said, “I’m Matt.”
“I know.” Was all I said before turning away back to Johnny. Johnny’s brown eyes studied me for a second before I motioned to him that I wanted to leave. Johnny grabbed his things and I turned around to find that Matt was still there. “Can I help you?” I asked, not wanting to deal with anyone, I just wanted to get home.
“What’s your name?” He asked me, hazel eyes curious. I could feel Johnny tense besides me. Johnny’s always been over protective of me, especially after Sean died.
“Pheobe.” I answered simple, “Now can I leave?” I asked him, apparent in my voice that I didn’t want to be here.
He smiled again, kind of like a victory smile, “Bye, Pheobe. Bye, Johnny.” I just rolled my eyes, and walked past him, happy to finally be able to leave this hell hole.
“How’d he know your name?” I asked Johnny once we were out of ear shot.
“He’s in my music class, just like Jimmy, Brian, and Zack.” He said, still looking protective. I took art instead of music like Johnny. It was the only class we didn’t have together.
I nodded. A moment of silence passed between us before I broke it, “You know you don’t have to be so protective, right?” I looked up at him; he was staring at me.
He looked down at his feet as we walked out the school doors. “I know. I just can’t help it though.” He looked up at me and said, “You mean a lot to me, I don’t want to lose you.” I knew he was talking about the month right after Sean’s suicide. I was suicidal myself. I felt like I murdered my own brother; I should be dead, not him. I wanted to tell Johnny that he wouldn’t lose me. But that’s a lie.
I knew Johnny has already gotten to close. I feel like he’ll be the next to leave me, just like my brother. And I couldn’t handle that. I know I have to let go of Johnny eventually, just not today. “I’ll be fine.” I murmured. Sure, it was a lie, but it wasn’t as big of a lie as you won’t lose me, ‘cause he will.
He gave me once of his cute half smiles, and I gave him one back. We reached the intersection where we split up to our own streets. “Bye, Bee.” Johnny said and waved.
I watched his short figure walk away. I watched, but then I ran after the mowhawked man. “Johnny!”
He turned around, looking confused. “Yeah?”
“M-My parent’s left again today.” I looked up at him; I saw a flash of anger go through his eyes. “Will you come home with me? I don’t want to be in an empty house.” Especially when it should be filled with my brother.
“Sure thing, Bee.” He smiled at me sympathetically. I smiled back at him, an actual real smile that I only use on rare occasions. He put his arm over my shoulder and we walked to my house. I felt comfortable with his arm around me, something I don’t feel often.
---
I entered the house and almost yelled out “Sean!” out of habit. But then I of course remembered he wouldn’t answer. He would never answer. I wouldn’t see his bright blue eyes as he came around the corner to greet me. I stared at the fridge, wanting so bad for a note to be there saying that Sean went to his friend’s house, that this was all just in my head, that he isn’t really gone.
I felt Johnny wipe under my eyes, I was crying. I looked up at him. He looked down at me, his eye’s full of caring and he also looked a little hurt. He wrapped his arms around me while I cried. I cried into his chest, hurting for my little brother. “It’s going to be okay, Bee. I promise.” Johnny whispered into my hair, and that’s when I knew what I had to do.
He looked up at me and smiled, then looked back down at his bag and replied, “I have no clue. But I heard something happened in the science lab. It had something to do with Jimmy, so I can only guess that she had something to do with it too.” Jimmy and Charlie hated each other. It was as simple as that. Put the two together, and something will surly go wrong. So Johnny’s theory made sense.
I didn’t say anything more to Johnny as he packed his stuff up. I was looking in my bag to find my cell phone to text Charlie, when someone bumped into me. I would have fell, but muscular arms caught me. I pushed away from whoever it was and sharply said, “Watch it.”
I looked up into hazel eyes. I knew him as Matt Sanders, one of Jimmy’s friends. “I’m really sorry.” By this time, Johnny was already by my side, making sure I was okay. I mumbled an ‘It’s okay.’ Then he smiled, his dimples coming out, and said, “I’m Matt.”
“I know.” Was all I said before turning away back to Johnny. Johnny’s brown eyes studied me for a second before I motioned to him that I wanted to leave. Johnny grabbed his things and I turned around to find that Matt was still there. “Can I help you?” I asked, not wanting to deal with anyone, I just wanted to get home.
“What’s your name?” He asked me, hazel eyes curious. I could feel Johnny tense besides me. Johnny’s always been over protective of me, especially after Sean died.
“Pheobe.” I answered simple, “Now can I leave?” I asked him, apparent in my voice that I didn’t want to be here.
He smiled again, kind of like a victory smile, “Bye, Pheobe. Bye, Johnny.” I just rolled my eyes, and walked past him, happy to finally be able to leave this hell hole.
“How’d he know your name?” I asked Johnny once we were out of ear shot.
“He’s in my music class, just like Jimmy, Brian, and Zack.” He said, still looking protective. I took art instead of music like Johnny. It was the only class we didn’t have together.
I nodded. A moment of silence passed between us before I broke it, “You know you don’t have to be so protective, right?” I looked up at him; he was staring at me.
He looked down at his feet as we walked out the school doors. “I know. I just can’t help it though.” He looked up at me and said, “You mean a lot to me, I don’t want to lose you.” I knew he was talking about the month right after Sean’s suicide. I was suicidal myself. I felt like I murdered my own brother; I should be dead, not him. I wanted to tell Johnny that he wouldn’t lose me. But that’s a lie.
I knew Johnny has already gotten to close. I feel like he’ll be the next to leave me, just like my brother. And I couldn’t handle that. I know I have to let go of Johnny eventually, just not today. “I’ll be fine.” I murmured. Sure, it was a lie, but it wasn’t as big of a lie as you won’t lose me, ‘cause he will.
He gave me once of his cute half smiles, and I gave him one back. We reached the intersection where we split up to our own streets. “Bye, Bee.” Johnny said and waved.
I watched his short figure walk away. I watched, but then I ran after the mowhawked man. “Johnny!”
He turned around, looking confused. “Yeah?”
“M-My parent’s left again today.” I looked up at him; I saw a flash of anger go through his eyes. “Will you come home with me? I don’t want to be in an empty house.” Especially when it should be filled with my brother.
“Sure thing, Bee.” He smiled at me sympathetically. I smiled back at him, an actual real smile that I only use on rare occasions. He put his arm over my shoulder and we walked to my house. I felt comfortable with his arm around me, something I don’t feel often.
---
I entered the house and almost yelled out “Sean!” out of habit. But then I of course remembered he wouldn’t answer. He would never answer. I wouldn’t see his bright blue eyes as he came around the corner to greet me. I stared at the fridge, wanting so bad for a note to be there saying that Sean went to his friend’s house, that this was all just in my head, that he isn’t really gone.
I felt Johnny wipe under my eyes, I was crying. I looked up at him. He looked down at me, his eye’s full of caring and he also looked a little hurt. He wrapped his arms around me while I cried. I cried into his chest, hurting for my little brother. “It’s going to be okay, Bee. I promise.” Johnny whispered into my hair, and that’s when I knew what I had to do.
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