Whisper Wreckless

I couldn’t believe I was going to talk to him. I couldn’t figure out why I felt the need to go to him. I got downstairs and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I went out the door. I stood on the back porch and I could see Paul looking out into the woods with his hands in his pockets.

And all of a sudden a sudden wave of guilt washed over me. I felt miserable for making him feel bad, even though I did have the right to be angry with him. Feelings, must I have them?

“Paul.”

Paul turned around and stared at me. Not with anger, but this time, he looked upset; really upset. And the gilt just weighed me down even further.

“Let’s talk.”

“I’m sorry,” I started. “For being so rude in the kitchen, you didn’t completely deserve it. You were trying to talk to me about what happened earlier. And I should’ve let you.”

“Lynn,” Paul said softly. “It’s okay, I understand. You have every right to be mad at me.”

“Paul-“

“Let me finish, please.”

I nodded my head.

“I know I’m not your favorite person right now. And that you probably don’t want to see me around again, but, there are some things I have to tell you.” Paul breathed in deeply, then spoke once again.

“I’m not sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m not sorry that I kissed you. Because it’s something that I wanted, and I know it was what you wanted to.”

I scoffed.

“How do you know that?”

Paul stepped forward and put on hand under my chin. I practically melted by his touch; even if it was just a simple gesture.

“The way you kissed me back. Lynn, that kiss was the most incredible thing I ever experienced. And you can’t say you didn’t feel something either. Because I felt it, Lynn there was something there.”

“Paul.” I said softly.

“Lynn, I care about you. More than I’ve cared about anyone, more than myself. I want to be with you.”

“Why?” I asked meekly. “Why me?”

Paul stepped closer, so close I could feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“Lynn, you’re fascinating. You have the heart of gold. You’re so smart, so sweet, so giving. You would do so much to make one person happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do. Sam told me that when you’re mom told said you were leaving you didn’t fuss, you didn’t scream at her. You went upstairs and started packing, and handled it all on your own. You knew that fighting would only hurt you and your mother, and you came straight here. You were so friendly towards everyone when you came. You’re one of the few people in this world that are actually good. I want you in my life, I need you Lynn.”

“Paul, I don’t know if I can.”

“Why?”

“We’ve never even had a decent conversation; we’re either fighting, or ignoring each other. How do you know it would work between us?”

“There are some things you just have to have confidence in, babe. And I’m confident about us, I know we can do this.” He said grasping my face in his hands.

“I care too much to screw this up, I won’t hurt you; I swear.

Paul was really doing this. He was right about a basically everything. I enjoyed that kiss. It was exhilarating, and it felt so right. I couldn’t lie about that. And I couldn’t deny that I wanted to do it again.

He actually wanted to be with me. I admired how he was laying everything out on the table. The Paul I thought I knew never would’ve done something like that. He was actually a sensitive guy, who cared. He cared about me.

Looking at him, I knew he was telling me the truth. He wouldn’t hurt me, and he wanted to be with me. And man, look at him. Sensitive, caring, and gorgeous; he had the whole package. And I didn’t think I should pass the opportunity up.

“Okay.”

Paul’s eyes widened. “Okay?”

I chuckled. “Yes, to everything; to anything. I want to be with you to.” I said, now grinning.

Paul’s face matched mine. “Yes!” He punched the air excitedly. He then proceeded to pick me up and spin me around.

“You have just made me the happiest guy in the world.” He said as he put me down.

“What can I say? I’m just that good.” I said jokingly.

Then, he kissed me. And dear God it felt good.

“Yeah!”

“That’s right, show her whose boss!”

“Get it Paul!”

The guys were cheering Paul on, of course. We pulled away laughing, and turned to see them still shouting and yelling. Paul wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest.

“You won’t regret this.”

“I know I won’t.”

And I had a strange feeling, that what I was true. I wouldn’t regret it.