Friendship is Another Word for Love

We’ve been in Buffalo for almost a month now and things were going great. Patrick’s sisters, mom, and I have been slowly planning out the wedding. Patrick has also been doing something of his own also involving his sisters and Jazmynn. They were all being secretive about it and it had me suspicious, but then I remembered Patrick asking Jazmynn for help to do something special for me.

Today though was special and wedding planning was pushed aside because today Patrick was getting the Cup. Everyone in the Kane household was extremely excited, especially Patrick. Once the Cup arrived all the excitement from that June night came rushing back to me. The smiles on the teams faces, especially Patrick’s. I remember the silence of the arena when Patrick scored the game winning goal, the cheers when we realized he did indeed scored. The cheers of the team as they celebrated on the Flyers home ice. The tears in Patrick eyes when I met him on the ice and congratulated him. That look was back in Patrick’s eyes as he held the Cup in his parents’ front yard.

“Alyssa, go stand with Patrick.” Donna said, pushing me towards her son. Patrick wrapped his arm around my waist as we stood behind the Stanley Cup and Donna took pictures of us.

“Pat, can I hold it?” I asked.

Patrick smiled and lifted the cup up in the air before handing it to me. It was heavy and I was having some trouble keeping it up. Patrick stood behind me, holding it up slightly as pictures were taken. Then the rest of the Kanes took pictures with Patrick and the Cup. Eventually it was time for Patrick to make his rounds around the city.

“Jaz, you’re going to spend the day with your aunts today.” I told the now three year old. “They want to take you shopping while daddy and I are out, okay?”

“Okay, mommy. You come back right?” She asked. She always asked when anyone left now.

“Of course baby girl. We always do.” I told her, kissing her forehead. “Be good for them okay? Have fun.”

She nodded and went to stand with Erica and Jackie. The first stop and Patrick’s day was the local hospital visiting cancer patients. At first I was hesitant about joining him on this trip, but I had promised him I’d go with him. So I did, it was hard and I ended up going outside because I couldn’t keep my emotions in check, but I was proud of Patrick. We went a couple of more places before stopping to get lunch at a cute sidewalk café. Of course Patrick was asked to sign autographs and take pictures, but once the hype of him being there died down we were left alone.

“How has your day been so far? Everything you dreamed of?” I smiled, taking a sip of my iced tea.

“Everything and more.” He smiled. “I never expected to be here, ya know?”

“Sure you did, you’ve always wanted to win the Cup.”

“That’s not what I meant. What I meant was I never thought I would be here with you, celebrating the Stanley Cup. I would have never imagined being engaged and having a daughter and another one on the way. I couldn’t be happier.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

“I love you, Patrick.” I whispered.

“Love you, too, Alyssa.”

Our waitress brought out our food and just stood there looking at Patrick.

“You’re Patrick Kane.” She stated and I rolled my eyes.

Patrick smiled at the girl and nodded. “I am.”

“I’m Tiffany…” She trailed off like she expected him to know that.

I looked at Patrick and I could tell that he really didn’t know who this girl was, but he probably did. She was probably one of his many one night stands that he had. Knowing this hurt and I knew it shouldn’t because I knew about Patrick’s past, but I just never expected to meet one of the girls.

“I’m sorry, I don’t seem to remember you.” He said.

She laughed. “Well I don’t expect that, you were pretty damn drunk at my party. We had a great night together though and following that night as well.” She smirked in my direction.

I tried not to react to her words, she was more than a one night stand apparently. I looked at Patrick and waited for him to say something, but then I noticed the look in his eyes. He recognized her. He knew who she was and what they did together. Patrick didn’t say anything, but he continued to stare at the blond next to us. Unable to handle the awkward silence anymore, I excused myself and went to the bathroom. While in there I looked at myself in the mirror.

I saw the same girl I was when I first met Patrick almost four years ago. There were slight changes here and there, like I was a little bit taller, my hair was lighter. There were obvious changes as well, my eyes held this light that I haven’t seen in a long time, I was smiling more often then I ever did, and I was pregnant. I rested my hands on my growing stomach. I took a deep breath and went back out to the table, only to find Tiffany sitting in my seat and holding Patrick’s hand. I quickly spun on my heels and walked away as my eyes filled with tears.

I walked as far as I could before the sobs took over my body. I never thought actually seeing one of Patrick’s conquests would effect me this hard. I tried to control my breathing and took in my surroundings, I didn’t know where I was.

“Alyssa?” A voice asked softly. I looked up at the sound of my name and saw Jackie standing there. “Alyssa, what’s wrong?” She asked.
“Patrick and I ran into one of his flings at the café.” I sniffed. “She was flirting with him, not even caring that I was sitting right there.”

“What did Patrick do?” She asked and looked over her shoulder as her sisters and Jazmynn came out of the store they were in.

“He remembered her, but he just sat there and started at her. Didn’t introduce me or anything.”

“Then why are you crying?”

I wiped away my tears before Jazmynn came closer so she didn’t worry. “I went to the bathroom and when I went back to the table she was sitting in my seat and holding his hand.” I chocked out.

Jackie wrapped her arms around me. “Alyssa, relax. Even if he does remember her doesn’t mean anything. My brother is so in love with you, he would never do anything to hurt you or Jazmynn.”

“Mommy!” Jazmynn yelled when she saw me with Jackie. “Where’s daddy?” She asked when she looked around and didn’t seem.

I took a deep breath. “Daddy is with a friend.” I told her. “I saw your aunt Jackie and wanted to catch a ride home with you guys.”

She accepted that answer and went on about her afternoon with the girls. When we got back to the Kanes’ house, Jazmynn went down for her nap and I went and sat by the pool trying to think about what happened. I don’t know how long I sat out by the pool, but I knew I was going to have sunburn on the tops of my shoulders. I heard the sliding glass door open and shut and then footsteps making their way to me.

“Where the hell did you disappear to?” Patrick asked from behind me.

“I wasn’t feeling good and then I ran into Jackie and the girls.” I lied.

“Why didn’t you come back to the table? I would have taken you home.”

I stood up and looked at him. “Because I didn’t want to interrupt your little reunion with your friend.” I snapped and went to walk past him but was stopped by his hand on my arm.

“Alyssa, will you let me explain?” Patrick begged.

I ripped my arm out of his grip. “No, there is nothing to explain. I’m going to go lay down for a little bit. I think I’m done going with you today, though.” I said and walked away. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I got to Patrick’s old room and laid down. Not even five minutes later, Patrick walked in and shut the door.

“Listen to me, Alyssa. I have no idea what the hell happened today, but I’m going to tell you what happened. We were having a wonderful afternoon together and all of a sudden you up and left.”

I sat up and glared at him. “It wasn’t all of a sudden, Patrick. I came back from the bathroom and saw the waitress sitting there holding your hand. Tell me, Pat what was I supposed to think?”

He sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me, do you remember her?” I asked quietly.

He ran an hand through his curls and took a seat at the foot of the bed. “Yeah I do, I didn’t remember at first, but I do. My cousin and I went to this party last year when you were in Winnipeg and we met this girl.”

“Tiffany.”

He nodded. “Yeah her, we started talking and drinking and then I don’t remember much of what happened after the shots we began taking. We slept together and it lasted more than a couple of days.”

“How long?”

“A month or so.”

A month? He had been sleeping with the same girl for a month and didn’t tell me? You weren’t dating at the time I reminded myself. But why does it feel like he just admitted to me that he cheated? Tears filled my eyes and I looked away from him.

“Alyssa,” He placed a hand on my foot and I pulled away. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

“Really Patrick? Because last time I checked not telling your best friend that you had a girlfriend for a month is hurting her. I thought you told me everything.”

He sat up and paced his room. “I don’t have to tell you everything little god damn thing I do. You aren’t my mother.” He snapped.

“You think I don’t know that, but I’m not talking about now. Before we were dating you told me everything that happened when I was with Jon. Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“Because it wasn’t a big deal.”

I scoffed. “Not a big deal? Patrick Kane slept with the same girl for more than a night, that’s a big freaking deal.”

“Shut up,”

“Excuse me?!” I yelled. “You did not just tell me to shut up did you?”

“I did, because all you keep talking about is Tiffany.” He yelled back.

“That’s because that’s what this is all about. Tiffany. Hell, this isn’t even about you not telling me about her. This is about the fact that you sat there and stared at her and didn’t say a word. Then I come back and see the two of you holding hands. Out of curiosity, do the two of you hook up when the team comes to play Buffalo? I mean hell, if you kept that from me then there’s got to be other things you keep from me.”

“God dammit, Alyssa! Why do you keep thinking I’m keeping something from you? It was one time I didn’t tell you something. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Well guess what you did!”

Patrick ran a hand down his face and turned to walk out of the room. “I have more things to do. I guess I’ll just see you later” He said before closing the door behind him.

I grabbed one of the pillows off of Patrick’s bed a threw it at the door in frustration. Why was he acting like this? Tears ran down my face as I stood there, looking at the door. He obviously wasn’t coming back anytime soon and I was okay with that. At the time I couldn’t stand to see his face. I looked around the room and sighed, I couldn’t stay here right now. I grabbed my phone and walked out of the house without a word to anyone. As I walked through Patrick’s childhood neighborhood, I dialed a familiar number.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite girl.”

“Don’t let Katy hear you say that.” I chuckled through my tears.

“She knows you’re my favorite girl, but Jaz is creepin’ up on the list.” He chuckled. “How is she?”

I shook my head, my daughter had one of my best friends wrapped around her finger. It was cute. “She doing good, she’s loving all the attention her aunts are giving her. Right now she’s napping.”

“That’s good to hear. Did she get my present?”

“She did and she loved it. I meant to send you pictures, to send you pictures but things just got crazy. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant.”

“Hey you’ve got better things to do. How’s your summer been going?”

I sighed and took a seat on the curb. “I was great up until about an hour ago.”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“Do you know of a girl named Tiffany?”

Jonathan was quite for a little bit before answering. “No, that name doesn’t sound familiar. Should it?”

“I don’t know, your best friend was apparently sleeping with her for a month in the off season last year.”

“What? How do you know?”

Tears once again sprang to my eyes. “Because he told me. Jon, we got in a huge fight right before he left to finish off his day.”

“How did you find out about her?”

“We ran into her at the café we were having lunch at. It was obvious they both recognized each other. Patrick just sat there staring at her and didn’t even acknowledge that I was at the same table as him. Then I went to use the bathroom and came back and saw them holding hands. After that I just left.”

“So wait, you’re telling me that your fiancé was holding hands with another girl? A girl that he slept with?” Jonathan growled. “What the hell is going through his head?”

“Wish I could tell you.” I ran a hand over my growing stomach. “Jon, we’ve never fought before. This has me worried, if this happened only a year ago couldn’t he still be doing it?”

“Alyssa, calm down. Patrick is not cheating on you, he loves you so much and he isn’t that stupid.” Jon said trying to calm me down.

“Jon, how am I supposed to believe that when I saw them holding hands and never told me about her even when they were together.” I took a deep breath. “He use to tell me everything. If he kept Tiffany from me then what else is he keep from me?”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

I sighed. “No, he needs to grow the fuck up.”

Jonathan chuckled on the other end. “That he does, but I think he’s grown up a lot in the past couple of months don’t you?” I could just see him raising his eye brows at me.

“Yes he has, but he was really immature about everything today. Now I admit I didn’t go about this in a mature way either, but still.”

“Lys, just give him some time. He is probably just as shaken up about this encounter as you are. Where is he now?”

“Not sure, he had a few more places to go with the cup. I was supposed to go with him, but then we got into that fight so now I’m walking around the neighborhood.”

“Go back to Pat’s house and wait for him to get back, then talk to him. Like adults. Also give my wonderful god daughter a hug and kiss from me.”

I smiled into the phone and made my way back to the Kane household. “Will do Jonny, thanks for letting me vent to you.”

“Anytime Alyssa, that’s what I’m here for. Love you and enjoy the rest of your summer.”

“You too Jon and say hi to Katy when you see her.”

“Will do, au revior Alyssa.”

“Au revior Jon.”

As I made my way back to the Kane household I thought about what Jon said, Patrick really did love me but that still doesn’t change the fact that he was holding Tiffany’s hand earlier. I shook my head trying to clear it as I climbed the steps into the house. I was greeted with the sounds of crying and people talking frantically.

“Oh thank god, there you are.” Erica said, greeting me at the door with a worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking around the room for my crying daughter. She came around the corner and ran right to me when she spotted me by the door. “Jaz, sweetie what’s wrong?” I asked, smoothing back her curls.

“She woke up and you weren’t here. We didn’t know where you went. Mom said that you and Pat were fighting earlier.” I blushed and looked over at Donna with a sad smile. “Jaz heard you guys and woke up almost as soon as you left according to mom. She hasn’t quieted down since.” Erica told me.

I sighed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about, are you okay though?”

I shrugged and ran my hand down Jazmynn’s back as she quieted down. “I’ve been better, but nothing to worry about. Has anyone heard from Pat?” I asked.

Donna and Erica shared a look before Donna answered me. “Yeah, he called about ten minutes ago. He’s stuck in Buffalo and doesn’t know when he’ll be home.”

“Stuck, what do you mean stuck?”

“As in the fire truck’s ladder got stuck and he’s about a hundred feet in the air.”

I started laughing because it was either that or burst into tears once again. “Well doesn’t that just suck? Is he okay?” No matter how much I wanted to hate him, my true feelings were stronger.

Donna nodded. “He’s a little shaken up, but otherwise fine.” She looked at me. “How about you, are you okay?”

I looked down at Jazmynn before looking at Patrick’s mom. “Hey Jaz, why don’t you go see if Aunt Jackie will take you swimming?” I suggested to the little girl. She tightened her grip on my neck, not letting go. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I’m going to be right here talking to grandma and Aunt Erica. I promise I’ll still be here when you come back inside.” I told her. Satisfied with that answer she got down and went to find her aunt.

When the coast was clear I began telling Donna and Erica about the fight Patrick and I had.