Never let go.

I stayed in Joe's arms longer than I wanted to. He whispered meaningless things in my ear whilst I thought about my dad. The man who tore apart our family, that left my mum without a husband, me and my brother and sister without a dad. And I felt bad for his wife and children now. Knowing that the man they claim to love would walk out. It brought a smile to my face. "Hey," Joe whispered, stroking his fingers down my cheek. "What are you so smiley about?"

"He is worthless. We don't need him Joe. It's been 3 years, and look at us. The four of us are strong and together. And he is weak, running out of his family. I'd never do that, to anyone." I looked up at Joe, whose face had a smile plastered on it. A smile I'd kill to see.

"You've got a heard of gold, Izzie. You love the people around you. No matter what, we will be here for you." Joe whispered, squeezing me softly. "James is still here." I shot up, rubbing my eyes.

"He is?" I asked, shocked. The poor boy had to see me in bed with Joe. It should be me and him, not me and Joe. "Man, I look like a mess." I said, getting off the bed and looking in the mirror that Joe had in his room. I ran my finger under my eyes, trying to get the makeup off. I sighed, running my finges through my hair. Crying always made me tired. I walked over to Joe's closet, pulling a t-shirt out and a pair of shorts. He didn't mind, I seemed to have most of his clothes in my closet anyway. Without even realising Joe was still in the room, I pulled off my clothes I was wearing for my date and slipped on Joe's. Spinning around, I realised Joe was still in bed, staring at the ceiling. "Joe." I whispered, crawling back onto the bed. I rested my head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat rapidly increase. I smiled to myself.

"Iz, it's my birthday in a week." I panicked. I'd spent so much time with James, it hadn't even clocked in my head. "I'm nearly 21 and I still haven't found a girlfriend. It's just wrong."

"The right girl will come soon, trust me." I whispered, looking up at him. It wasn't the most comfortable position to be in, but he needed the comfort. "And when she does, make sure you don't let her go."

"The thing is," He whispered, shifting around so I had to sit up. He faced me, our knees touching. "The thing is, I think she is already here." His voice was rough, like he was just about to start crying. I sat, looking at him. What do you say to something like that? "And I can't believe it had taken me this long to figure it out. But it's you, Isabelle." A tear ran down Joe's cheek, making him long impossibly young. I gapped at him, my mouth hanging open slightly. "Say something." He whispered, looking at me through his lashes. And suddenly, I couldn't.

"Joe." I whispered, my voice cracking. I had waited forever to here Joe say the words. Why could he have done this a month ago? When I wasn't with James? Because the crazy thing was, I liked James, a lot. He made me feel safe, and loved. He made me laugh and he never made me sad. Whereas Joe made me constantly angry. He could make me cry in seconds, whether he was being nice or not? And it took him years to finally realise that it was me he wanted. It took James almost a week. James made me feel loved. Joe made me feel like I was a second choice.

Suddenly, whilst I was in my own thoughts, a pair of lips came crushing onto mine. I sat there, trying to register what was going on. It was Joe. It was my Joe. Joe who I had spent years pining after. Joe who I loved and who loved me. I smiled, pressing my lips harder against his. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he pulled me onto his lap, my legs either side of his. My hands drifted up to his hairline, playing with the soft bits there. His hands rested on my hips, rubbing his thumbs against the skin where he had lifted my shirt slightly. I was finally kissing Joe. Pushing his tongue into my moth, I melted in his hands. It had been what I had waited for, me and Joe. I tugged on his hair a little, a groan falling out of his lips. Footsteps and laughter echoed through my ears. Someone was coming up the stairs.

"Leave it." Joe's voice was sexy and gruff as he pulled his lips away from mine. "They won't walk in." Then it suddenly clocked in my head what I was doing.

"Oh god, Joe." I said, pulling myself away from him and off the bed. I saw the look of hurt on his face as I paced around the room. "Why did you do that? My boyfriend is sitting downstairs, talking with both our families. Whilst we are up here, making out. Oh my god." I stopped, taking a breath whilst tugging on my hair. "You can't just do that, Joe. You can't say all those things, things I've been waiting forever to hear you say and then expect me to fall into your arms. It doesn't work like that. You're weeks too late for that. I have a boyfriend." I waved my hands around, trying to stop myself from walking over there and doing it all again.

I know it's terrible. I'm moaning at Joe about kissing me whilst I'm trying to hold myself back. I cared for James, a lot. But Joe, he was something else. Something that you've always wanted, but couldn't quite yet. As a child, you wanted the best tasting candy there was, but then you realised others we just as good, so you had them ones instead. But still had the craving for the best tasting ones, no matter what.

"Go to him then Isabelle." He hissed at me, launching off his bed and coming towards me. He towered over me, his face now red with anger. "Go to your precious boyfriend and tell him that he is all you ever wanted whilst I stay up here, knowing it was me." I gulped, my mouth going incredibly dry. I flicked my tongue out to wet my lips. "Knowing it was me you couldn't say no to. Me you'd come running to when you got upset. Me that you love, Izzie." I felt like crying, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I leant up, pushing my forehead against Joe's, my hands grabbing his shoulders. His eyes fell shut and his breathing became rapid. I closed my years, feeling his warmth. Warmth that I craved.

"Joe." I whispered, an unexpected tear ran down my face. "It's always been you. Always. But I've got to move on. It's only fair on both of us. We forget this ever happened, and we be the best friends that we are together, okay? We don't tell anyone, it will be our secret." He nodded his head, our foreheads rubbing together. "Okay." I said, standing on my tip toes to press a kiss to his forehead. Running my fingers down his cheek, I pulled myself away from him. He watched me walk out of the room, a small smile on his face. And I knew he wasn't going to be okay, because I wasn't.

I stopped at the top of the stairs, taking in a deep breath. I could hear James laughing from the lounge, a smile creeping up in my lips. This is why I pushed Joe away. To see James, to make my life with James. I forced myself down the stairs, hearing my brother talking loudly and more laughter following it. I stopped at the door, resting my hand against the handle before walking in. Everyone was in there, apart from Joe. I smiled at them all, before I walked over to James. I put myself into the gap between him and Kevin, making myself comfy. I rested my head against his chest, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Jess asked from the other side of the room, where she was tucked under Nick's arm. I smiled at her, both the families listening for my answer.

"Yeah." I replied, sending everyone a smile. They seemed to let out a massive sigh of relief all at once. "No point crying over spilled milk." I shrugged my shoulders. Everyone smiled back before carrying on with their conversations. "Hey." I tapped James's hand and he looked down at me. "Do you wanna go for a walk?" He nodded, before standing up. He held his hand out to me and I slipped mine in. "We will be back." I said, flashing my teeth at Kevin. He nodded, stretching out across the couch we were just on. We walked out the room, closing the door behind us.

"Are you okay? Really?" He said, brushing his hand across my forehead, moving hair out of my eyes. I nodded, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "Joe told me."

"I know he did." I said, walking towards the closet that had all the shoes in. I knew that Jess always leaves a pair here, just in case. Which is perfect for me, as we shared the same shoe size. I slid her converse onto my feet, wiggling my toes. "I'm glad he did." I held my hand out for James. He wrapped his fingers around mine, before we walked out the front door. I didn't care that I was still in Joe's clothes, it wasn't like anyone was going to spot me. "I'm sorry for running out on you." I mumbled as we started down the street.

"Honestly, I was more worried about you than my feelings, Isabelle. You seriously scared me. You just took off, I didn't even have time to pay the bill." I looked around, noticing people from our neighbourhood. "I knew where you'd go though." I stopped abruptly, making him jult backwards. "Joe is your best friend, I expected you to go to him. So I followed and there you were."

"It's just that." I carried on walking, trying to find my words. Instead, I just pressed my side against James's. He wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me closer. "It's just that Joe was there when it happened. No one understands it more than he does." I said, after finding my words. James nodded.

"I'm not going to make you tell me, Isabelle. But I want you to know that having feelings doesn't make you weak. Letting someone like that, like your dad, rule your life doesn't make you weak. It makes you human, okay?" I smiled up to him, the both of us in the sun. He stopped us in the middle of the street, pulling me towards his chest. He rested his head against mine, "I care for you, Isabelle. I really do. And I don't like seeing your hurt like this." I squeezed around his middle, smiling. "And I think I might even love you." I heard him mumble.

Love? He loves me? The words echoed around my head over and over again. He loves me.