I'll Brush Away Your Tears

Pain. Misery. Agony. Hate. Blood. Violence. Depression. All these words define someone’s life. My life. My life has been full of nothing but things that should be only seen or done in nightmares. I’ve been raped. I’ve been abused. I’ve been bullied. You name it, it’s happened to me. Except for one thing. I’m a virgin. I’m about to be a senior in high school and I’m a virgin. How fucked up is that? Ugh, my life is so fucked up. I hate it.

I walk into my kitchen and am immediately engulfed in the aroma of pancakes. I almost puke right then. I hate pancakes. I hate all foods. They all just stay in my stomach forever and make me even more disgusting then I already am. I need to be perfect, perfect so that he will love me, so that he won’t beat me anymore. I walk back upstairs to my room to get ready to go to the worst place on this vile planet, High school.

I slowly walked over to my closet to pick out my clothes for the day. Black skinny jeans, plaid red and black shirt with white tee underneath, and checkered converses. That was my choice for the day. I hate not looking good, even for school. People say it’s because I’m gay. But no, it’s because I want to look decent no matter where I go. I care about what people think of me, even though everyone in this town sees me as the freak, the fag, the mute, and these are all the titles that I despise being called.

I walk over to my dresser to grab a pair of clean boxers and walked into my bathroom to rid myself of my previous nights clothing and to step into the warmth of my shower. I turn on the water and shivered when it was ice cold. The ice cold water trickled down my arms to my new cuts from last night; I winced in pain at the contact. I quickly washed all over and shut off the water. I grabbed a towel and quickly dried off, being careful around my new cuts. I straightened my hair, brushed my teeth, and put on deodorant. When I was done I went back in my room and proceeded to get dressed.

I got dressed and threw on my shoes as quickly as possible. I ran out of the door as soon as I had both converses on. I avoided him today, this might be a good day. I walked down the street in the direction. A truck full of stupid jocks passes by throwing footballs and baseballs my way. I was able to turn around and catch all the ones I could and ducked out of the way of the ones I couldn’t catch with a bare hand. Not a single ball touched me. This annoyed them, yet they should be used to it by now. I am one of the strongest and fastest kids in school. But some people still think they can taunt me. I just let them get away with it. Yet everyone knows not to make me mad.

I made my way over to my locker to get a few books out. I undid my lock easily, grabbed some textbooks and a few poetry books, then redid my lock and left. I went out to the courtyard and sat on the brick silently reading my poetry. I then heard a sigh from someone sitting next to me. Whoa, since when do people sit next to me, and since when can I not hear them come up?

He shyly looked over to me and blushed slightly, he waved his hand at me sheepishly and I did the same, blushing as I did so. He gasped and laughed a little bit, I was confused but then he clarified, “Your blush is adorable.” I grabbed my journal and wrote.

Thanks, my name is Kameron. What’s your name?

“My name is Skylar. And I see that you’re a mute,” I nodded. “It’s cool, I knew mutes before. And by your fashion sense I’m guessing you’re gay.” I gulped and blushed. He laughed at how nervous I got. He said he was blunt and that he was sorry. I waved it off. I made him give me his schedule and I saw we had almost every class together. I smiled at the thought of seeing Skylar everyday.

The bell rang after ten minutes and we slowly walked to class. Being the last ones in before the bell rang. Mr. Jameson ignored me, as usual, but greeted Skylar right when he walked through the door. I was kind of annoyed at this but waved it off. It’s not Skylar’s fault. He is the new guy.

I think he might be one of my new best friends.