All I Wanted Was You

My mother once told me that love is never perfect like it is in the fairytales.
That I have to be patient, and willing to let love in when it comes.
I was sitting on my couch with a guy holding me.
He is patient, kind, and understanding.
I never thought I could want this again…ever.
I woke up to find myself alone in my loft.
I looked around.
“Rob?”
I stood up and looked around
“Rob?”
I started to hyperventilate
Breathe…breathe come on.
Breathe damn it!!
I feel to the ground and got myself together.
“Come on…breathe.”
I started to calm down and get myself together.
I didn’t realize I was crying until I wiped the tears from my face.
“What the hell is the matter with me?”
I stood up and calmed down.
I walked everywhere in my loft but he wasn’t there.
“Where did he go?”
I sat down at my table and put my head on the table.
“It’s crazy to be this attached to someone this early on. Crazy. I have to keep myself distracted.”
I went to get one of my guitars and sat down.
I was going get that tune I had in the back of my head out.
I started to strum away and it all came out naturally.
I kept playing it over and over again until it made me feel better.
I sat holding the guitar against me until I heard a knock at the door.
I got up and answered it.
I opened the door to reveal a pair of green eyes staring at me.
They would have made me happy but…he just left me here.
I walked away.
“Hey whats wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I went to my room and shut the door.
“Belinda?”
I stared at my reflection on the mirror.
“Belinda whats wrong? Belinda please.”
“What is he doing to me?”
You know exactly what is happening.
“No.”
You know.
“No no no no no!.”
“No what? Belinda please let me in.”
I kept staring at my reflection and didn’t believe what was happening to me.
“Belinda…”
I turned around and opened the door.
He was worried.
“What happened tell me.”
Tell the truth.
“You…”
“Me what?”
“I woke up and you were just gone.”
It clicked in his head and he came up to me to try to hold me and I backed away.
“Belinda I didn’t mean to…I just needed to go get some things from my hotel room.”
“You left me here all alone!”
“You just looked so peaceful and I thought I would be back before you woke up.”
“alone.”
“Please don’t…”
“You have no idea what you are doing to me do you?”
“I don’t understand Beli-“
“The effect you have on me….the things you are reawakening in me.”
“I…”
I kept backing away.
“What am I doing to you?”
I was close to crumbling.
Tell him.
“You are…you are...”
Tell him.
“I don’t like it when you are not here. It makes me feel empty and alone again.”
Everything…
“your presence is something I am becoming addicted to.”
You are feeling…
“the way you hold me. The way you kiss me.”
I was admitting the truth.
“I need you... here with me.”
Say it.
“I think I am falling for you.”
He came up to me and stood in front of me his eyes searching mine.
“Why do you look like you are about to crumble?”
Say it.
“Because I am so scared.”
He stroked my cheek
“Don’t be. I will always be here.”
Then he pulled me closer to him and gave me a kiss.
Falling…in love….with him….and I was scared.