You Left Me to Remain With All Your Excuses for Everything

Jackie woke up the next morning still dressed in her jeans and tank top. She got out of bed and realized how bad her head hurt from crying so hard the night before. She walked into the bathroom and looked down at the three little kittens sleeping on the rug and she had to force herself to stop crying. They were such sweet little kittens.

She brushed her hair and washed her face before leaving the bathroom and going into the kitchen. She saw a note sitting on the table and she sighed before picking it up and looking it over.

Wife,
There is a plate of food in the refrigerator for you in case you get up in the middle of the night or something. I’m here if you need to talk to me, OK?
-Madison

Jackie sighed and opened the refrigerator to see the plate of chicken wrapped in plastic wrap. She pulled off the plastic and stuck the plate in the microwave for a few minutes and found herself something to drink. After eating she wrote on a sticky note before sticking it to the refrigerator.

Wife,
Thanks for the food, I’m going out for a bit. I’ll be back soon. I love you so much
-Jackie she wrote and then hurried out of the house. She got into her car and took a deep relaxing breath before pulling out of her parking lot and heading away from the apartment.

She knew where she was going, even though she’d only been there twice before, and only for a few moments at a time. She had so many things she had to get off her chest. So many things she had to say. She stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee and then she headed out again.

It wasn’t too far away for her. She could get there easily and she was determined to get this over with, it was something she’d had to do for a long time. Finally she pulled her car into a drive way next to a silver BMW she’d never seen before, but without question she knew who it belonged to. She took a sip of her coffee before getting out of the car and heading for the front door. A wave of nerves passed over her as she hit the doorbell and waited for someone to answer the door. When the door finally opened her mind froze for a minute.

“…Christine?” she asked the woman that had answered the door.

Christine looked the girl in her door way over and pressed her eyebrows together. She’d never seen this girl before in her life. “Who are you?” she asked then with that same confusion on her face.

“I…I know you probably have no desire at all to talk to me…but there are just…” Jackie started, “there are just some things you need to know,” she finished and took a deep break. Christine loosened her eyebrows as she suddenly realized who the girl was.

“I have this feeling I know who you are now,” she said gently.

“My name is Jackie…”

“And you’re Tyler’s girlfriend,” Christine finished for her. Jackie was dumbstruck for a split second. She hadn’t expected Christine to know.

“I am so so sorry for ever…”

“Come inside Jackie, this isn’t a conversation for my doorway,” Christine said and moved aside. Jackie looked at her with some slight surprise. She wasn’t sure she should go into the house of the man she’d been sleeping with’s wife. Christine looked at her and sensed the worry and she took a deep breath. “I won’t kill you, I promise,” she said. Jackie nodded and walked into the house. Christine closed the door behind her and then led her to the living room. “You can sit down on the sofa if you want to,” she said and gestured towards the sofa in the room. Jackie sat and took a deep breath. This was so strange, but she knew she had to do it for herself more than for Christine.

“I really don’t mean to bother you…” she said.

“You’re not bothering anything,” Christine said.

“Can I ask why you’re being so nice to me?” Jackie asked uncomfortably. Christine shrugged a little bit and sat across from Jackie on the sofa.

“Because, as much as I want to blame you and everything…I can’t blame something on you that Tyler did.” Jackie was surprised by that comment. So far this was going easier than she’d expected it to.

“I know you probably hate me, and I don’t…”

“No, I don’t hate you at all,” Christine said gently. Jackie nodded and looked at the ground.

“Let me explain?”

“I’m listening,” Christine said and took a deep breath to prepare herself for what this girl had to say. She couldn’t let herself hate someone for what Tyler had done, but it was very surreal to have her husband’s mistress sitting on her sofa in her house. She never thought this moment would have come up, and she’d never hoped the girl would be so pretty and soft spoken. Nothing about Jackie’s attitude or appearance allowed Christine to hate her the way she wanted to.

“I was working in a bar when I met Tyler. My shift had just ended and he offered to buy me a drink…and I knew at the time I shouldn’t have let him, because I ended up so drunk that night I can’t even remember anything after I got out of the back of his truck and vomited in the parking lot. When he called me the next day, I couldn’t even remember giving him my phone number, but he was calling to make sure I was okay. He tried to get me to go out with him…but let me tell you I honestly had no intention of ever seeing him again. I wasn’t going to be somebody’s piece of ass like that…” Jackie said and then laughed to herself at the irony of her statement. She’d ended up being exactly that.

“He never…told you about me?” Christine asked gently.

“He…started calling me persistently. He called me every day for two weeks, begging me to go out with him. I finally gave in and agreed to meet him for dinner. I don’t know what it was about him that drew me so fast. But, for five months we dated. He was so nice, so perfect, and he never said anything about a wife. Somehow I stupidly missed his wedding ring, because looking back he never took it off. After five months I was in love with him, I didn’t know about you at all, or I wouldn’t have gone into the relationship at all. When he finally told me about you, I was willing to give up everything while I waited for him you know,” she sniffed, “because I loved him so much.” Christine nodded with her own eyes filling with tears. Now she really couldn’t justify hating this girl.

“Tyler has a way of making things work out his way,” she said gently. Jackie nodded and sniffed before wiping her eyes with her finger tips.

“He promised me he loved me, and that he was just waiting for the right time to tell you he was leaving. He promised me for seven months that he was going to leave you soon and that he and I would be together…and I believed him, Christine. I believed him…” Jackie cried. She took a deep breath then and forced her sobs down her throat and looked around the house. She hated seeing all the pictures of them together and knowing that she had helped to destroy everything.

“He…never once mentioned that he was unhappy. If he’d only told me…I’d have let him go,” Christine cried and also wiped her eyes. So much of her regretted letting Jackie into the house and letting her tell this story. But she was happy to know what had really happened. “I’d have let him go…”

Jackie waited for a minute before continuing as she recognized the bullet of pain to the chest in Christine’s expression. She wasn’t sure that it was fair of her to go and put his wife through this, it wasn’t Christine’s fault and she shouldn’t have to suffer more than she already was. “He promised and promised, and I was so stupidly in love with him that I always believed him. Two weeks ago…I found out I was pregnant. I was happy at first…I guess I really thought he’d take that as a motive to finally just be mine. But…when I told him…” Jackie said and pressed her lips together as her eyebrows furrowed with a sob building up in her throat.

“He told me last night,” Christine said in an attempt to stop anymore suffering for her guest. “He also told me…that he fell in love with you,” she continued and choked a little bit on her own sob. “So…maybe you can talk to him and be happy with your little family, you know…” she finished. “I hope…I hope he makes you happy.”

“I wanted to ask you…” Jackie said then as her sobbing diminished for the moment. “If you could tell him something for me the next time you talk to him…because I can’t bring myself to call him. So…and I know it’s a lot to ask being as I’m his mistress and everything…but tell him I stopped by and that I did what he asked me to do…” Jackie cried. Suddenly her sobbing was rising in her chest again.

“I don’t know when I’ll talk to him again…” Christine said.

“Won’t he come home soon?” Jackie asked then with some surprise. Christine took a deep breath.

“I found your, well I’m assuming they are yours, your panties in his laundry…I threw him out two weeks ago. I guess he’s staying in a hotel.”

“Oh,” Jackie said with some embarrassment. Christine nodded and looked away. “Well…if you talk to him soon, can you tell him that for me?”

“What is it that he asked you to do?” Christine asked softly, hoping the answer in her head wasn’t the answer Jackie would give her. She watched as Jackie tried to keep herself from bursting into tears.

“The morning…I told him I was pregnant…he told me to have an abortion…” She answered. Christine’s heart jumped into her throat then and she took a deep breath to push it down. “He told me I was nothing to him but a piece of ass and that he didn’t care what happened to the baby, because he wasn’t going to have anything to do with it,” she said. Finally her tears refused to stay pushed down, and Jackie started to sob. Surprise overtook her when Christine started to rub her back between her shoulders with the palm of her hand. “I’m…I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t be…I shouldn’t be in your house crying about your husband…” she sobbed.

“Don’t apologize, I understand,” Christine said gently and continued to rub Jackie’s back a little bit.

“When I found out about that baby I was so happy…but then he left me standing there, and I just lost my job. I just couldn’t keep the baby…” she cried. “He’ll be happy…I’m so sorry Christine…for everything…” Jackie said and continued to sob.

Christine wiped away her own tears then and took a deep shaky breath. She felt so close, in a way, to this stranger that was sitting on her sofa sobbing. This innocent woman that her husband had used and manipulated for so long.

“I’ll tell him what you told me…” she said gently.

“I want you to know, that it was never my intention, Christine, to do this to you. The only reason I did what I did was because I loved him, and he made me believe he loved me too. He lied so good Christine…he swore so much that he loved me, and I could see it in his face. I could feel the sincerity. I wasn’t trying to be his other woman or home wrecker or whatever…I promise you that Christine…I promise. I only loved him…and I was stupid to do that,” she cried and sniffed.

“As much as I’d love to be able to blame you, I know that you didn’t do this to me,” Christine said. “He is the one that led us both along like dogs on leashes.” Jackie nodded as she cried. She left the house soon after that.

Christine shut the door and looked around the house before pulling her cell phone out of her pocket and dialing his phone number with rage. He answered on the third ring with, “I think you made it clear how much you hate me, Christine.”

“No, I don’t think I have!” She screamed into the phone. “I talked to her Tyler! She told me everything you did to you, you selfish motherfucking bastard!”

Tyler was silent then. He didn’t know what to say. All he could think about was Jackie in his house with Christine. He could just picture them talking, and it wasn’t something he wanted to imagine. He’d hoped they’d never find each other. “Who?” he asked stupidly then.

“Jackie,” she said simply. “She had a message for you.”

“Why did you talk to her? She has nothing to do with you!” he said defensively, although he wasn’t sure who he was defending.

“She came here, because unlike you, she thought me worthy of the truth! She told me everything Tyler…all of the lies you told her…”

“I never lied to her,” he said.

“Really?! Then when were you planning on leaving me?! When were you going to be hers and only hers?! Because you sure as hell never made any indication that you were unhappy Tyler!” she snapped. “Don’t try and say you never lied to that girl! You led us both along like fucking puppies for the last year! You let her make love to you every chance you got and you never once let her know that you were only taking advantage of her and her love for you! Until she got pregnant, than the first thing you did was tell her it was all just a fucking lie! You’re a disgusting excuse for a human being.”

“The things I said to her do not concern you!” he snapped with anger. He couldn’t believe Jackie had gone to the house and told Christine everything that had happened between them.

“Be happy Tyler! She had a fucking abortion! Because even after you tore her apart, she still wanted you to be happy!” Christine shouted into the phone.

Tyler was silent then. He’d never expected her to have an abortion. “She…”

“She loves you! And no matter what you come up with to say, she is not the one at fault in this. You are the one that fucked everything up for yourself.”

“She was never the one at fault…” he said more to himself than to Christine. “She was never responsible for my mistakes. She was the one that I hurt…she was the one that I took advantage of and that I led along. She was the one that gave me everything she had and got nothing back. She was right…I didn’t deserve the love she gave me…” he said.

“I hope you find out what you want in life Tyler, because there aren’t a lot of girls willing to wait on you. You can have your house; I won’t be staying here anymore. I don’t know where I’m going, but it isn’t in this house. I want nothing more to do with you,” she said. “You are nothing like the man I married…goodbye, Tyler.”

“Goodbye…Chrissy…” he said and listened to her hang up her phone.