I'm A Match That's Burning Out
Twenty Nine.
“Bri,” Rob's voice followed me as I tried to walk away, “Bri, wait.” He grabbed my hand, turning me around. I looked up, gazing into his eyes.
“What?” I mumbled.
“You kissed me. Don't act like it didn't happen.” I sighed, looking down. “Why?”
“I don't know, okay? I'm a girl. We do weird stuff. We have no self control.” I shrugged, trying to step away from him.
“Do you have feelings for me?” He asked, his voice serious. Never thought I'd see the day Robert Dyrdek was serious. “And tell me the truth.”
“I'm attracted to you.” I said instead.
“Then what's the problem?” His hand found my cheek, his other arm coiling around my waist.
“I – I don't...” I stuttered as he moved closer, brushing hair from my face. “Rob, I'm too young for you.”
“Not really.”
“Yes, really. Fourteen years is a big deal.” He sighed, resting his forehead against mine.
“It's not like it's illegal.”
“But it's frowned upon.”
“Not by me.”
“I haven't even known you for a day, Rob.” I insisted. “You don't know anything about me.”
“But I want to.”
Why is he such a fucking smooth talker?
I sighed, shoulders slumping. Rian's face flashed into my mind and I frowned.
“Rob,” I began, “this is all my hormones fault.”
“What?” He blinked, confused.
“I want sex.” I said simply. “My body is waiting and it's getting annoyed that it's not getting what it wants so it made me kiss you.”
“So your body wants me,” he said, voice low and still confused, “but your heart doesn't.”
“I don't know.” He leaned in, smashing his lips against mine. Caught off guard, I froze. Everyone was here – everyone could see this. Rian could see this. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, fucking no.
“Hey!” Tori's voice yelled and Rob was pulled away from me, leaving me standing there like an idiot. “Back off, Dyrdek.”
“Bri?” I heard Alex say, but I was too stunned to move. What was Rian thinking? Did he even see it? “Bri? Bri!” Alex shook me, snapping me from my gaze.
“What...” I trailed off, “the fuck?”
“You can kiss me but I can't kiss you?” Rob fumed, frowning.
“You kissed him?!” Everyone yelled besides Tori, who groaned and smacked her forehead. Rian definitely heard that. I looked around frantically, stepping backwards before turning and bolting away from the group.
“Bri, come back!” Tori yelled, but I kept moving.
Why do I screw up every good thing that happens to me?
X – X – X
My phone hasn't stopped ringing since I left the Fantasy Factory. This birthday sucks. I don't even know where I am. I hopped in a taxi and told him to just drive and I'd tell him to stop whenever I felt like it. I had enough money to pay him off.
“What's fun around here?” I grumbled to him. He glanced at me.
“There's horseback riding.” He said thoughtfully, smiling slightly as my eyes lit up.
“Really?” He nodded, pulling the next left and driving straight for a few minutes before hitting a dirt road.
“Alright, we're here.” I looked to the meter, digging through my pocket. “No, free of charge.”
“What?” I gaped.
“What kind of guy would I be if I made you pay on your birthday?”
“How did you...” He pointed at my shirt and I looked down, laughing at the sight of a “HELLO my name is...” sticker, that said BIRTHDAY GIRL instead of my name. I wonder who put that there. “Just let me pay you.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Now get out and have some fun.” I guess not all taxi drivers are miserable fucks. I hopped out and before he drove away, chucked some money through his window. I could see him laughing as he drove out. I turned, smiling slightly. Hopefully this clears my head.
X – X – X
After riding the same horse five hundred million times (I exaggerate, yes), I decided to just walk around. From the stables, I found a bar. The bartender saw my sticker and made the whole fucking room sing to me, then gave me pina coladas on the house. Like...since when are people so giving? I turned my phone off at the stables and haven't checked it since then. As I left with a daiquiri in my hand, I debated turning it on. I heard loud music playing somewhere down the street and got distracted, walking toward it. A club, eh? I thought it over. Everyone's gonna be mad at me when I get back. So I might as well live it up now, right?
A little voice in the back of my mind said wrong, but I found myself on the line nonetheless.
X – X – X
I staggered out of the club, squinting to see the time on my watch. 12:45. Shit. My birthday's over. No fun! I turned my phone on.
104 missed calls.
89 unread text messages.
12 new voice mails.
God damn it. My head was spinning and I was almost too drunk to scroll through my list of contacts. Almost.
It only rang once.
“Where the fuck are you?” Rian's angry voice met my ears.
“Hi, sexy!” I giggled. “I'm...I don't know where I am!”
“What? Are you....are you drunk?”
“No!” I laughed. “Not really! Well, maybe a little.” I tried walking on the curb but ended up just walking on the side of the road.
“Damn it.” He groaned. “Do you see any street signs?”
“Tree mines?”
“Street signs!”
“Oh.” I laughed. “Uhm....Oaky Rodey Artichokie” I read the sign, adding in some of my own twist.
“...Oak Road? How the fuck did you get all the way over there?”
“I hitch hiked.”
“What?”
“Just kidding!”
“It's not funny.” I heard shuffling. “I'm coming to get you.”
“You're coming?! While I'm on the phone?! That's gross! Cover Rian Jr's eyes!”
“Stop yelling.”
“I'm not yelling!”
“How much did you drink?” He sighed.
“I have no idea.” I threw my arm out for effect, but only ended up slipping and falling on my ass. “Ow!”
“Are you okay?”
“No. I fell on my booty. Come kiss it.” I crawled onto the curb and sat there with my legs crossed. “Where are you? I'm bored.”
“I'm on my way. Just hold on.” I sighed dramatically. I heard other voices in the background and furrowed my eyebrows.
“Is that her?” A girl's voice said.
“Yeah.”
“BRIANNA YOU MOTHER FUCKER,” Tori's voice yelled, making me wince, “WHERE. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU.”
“Oaky!”
“Oaky? What the fuck is Oaky?”
“She means Oak Road.”
“WHAT THE FUCK, BRI!” The phone was silent and a Alex's voice came on.
“I'm gonna fucking kill you.”
“You're gonna fuck me? Ew!”
“She's wasted?”
“Off her ass.”
And so now I'm waiting and still on the phone cause they won't let me hang up until they get here. La la la. It's really boring just sitting here. Ooh, pretty stars. I looked at the sky and fell onto my side, sighed loudly.
“What did you do now?” Vinnie, who I was now on the phone with, asked.
“I fell.” I grumbled, lying down completely.
“Get off the ground.” He spoke.
“I don't want to – PUPPY!”
“Huh?” I shot up, holding my arms out and dropping my phone at the sight of little dog in the alley.
“Here, doggy. Come here.” I cooed quietly, catching it's attention. It gave me suspicious eyes. I heard mumbled talking through the phone by my feet but payed no attention to it. “Come here. It's okay.” It stepped forward hesitantly, slowly. “That's right. It's okay.” I saw a tag shimmering on the collar around his neck. Oh no. He's lost! Now I have to help him. He sniffed my hand cautiously before stepping closer. I pulled him into my lap, petting him as I picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Where'd you go?” Why am I on the phone with Jack now?
“I found a puppy.”
“A real puppy?”
“Mhm. He says hi.”
“I think she's losing it.” I heard him say to someone.
“I didn't lose anything.” I huffed. “Where are you guys? Me and...” I looked to his nametag, “Shiloh are getting cold.”
“Who the hell is Shiloh?”
“The puppy.”
“We're almost there.”
“Who's coming?” I asked. “Besides Rian. He came already. And it was gross. Did he cover Rian Jr's eyes like I told him to?”
“....What?”
“What?”
“You're a fucking weird drunk, you know.”
“NO FOUL LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF THE PUPPY!” He sighed.
“We're almost there.”
“Who's we?”
“Everyone.” He hung up. Oh, great. A car rolled up then and lo and behold, out popped Tori.
“She did find a puppy.” She blinked, approaching. Shiloh stared as she leaned down. “Hi there, cutie.”
“Hello yourself.” I replied.
“Not you, idiot.” She scooped Shiloh into her arms. “He has a home? Darn.” I nodded, trying to stand, but wobbled. Rian grabbed me, silent, and brought me to the car.
“No.” I dragged my feet. “I'm not going with you.”
“Get in the car.”
“You're mad at me!”
“Just get in!”
“I'm not getting in if you're mad at me!”
“What do you fucking expect?!” He snapped. “You kissed Rob when you damn well know how I feel about you!”
“No, Rian, I don't know how you feel about me! You never act like you're interested at all!”
“I've tried kissing you twice!”
“Yeah, tried!” I yelled. Alex, who was driving, watched with Jack in the front seat, staring. Vinnie was in the back. Everyone else, Matt, Zack, Sam and Jared & Mikey were in the other car that just pulled up. “We never got anywhere! Excuse me for having hormones!”
“What are you talking about?!”
“I WANNA HAVE SEX, YOU FUCKER!” I screamed. “I'm not a virgin! My body wants to fuck someone! Would I fuck you if I could? Hell fucking yes! Every second of the day! But we never got anywhere! Rob was there and we had something and my body reacted! IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING, OKAY? I didn't wanna fuck him because I like you too god damn much!” I ranted, taking in his surprised expression. Tori stood off to the side, Shiloh in her arms, staring with her mouth hanging open. I'm pretty sure everyone else had the same face on. Even the dog. “And now my head is killing me. Fuck you all.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I started to fall, but never hit the ground.
“What?” I mumbled.
“You kissed me. Don't act like it didn't happen.” I sighed, looking down. “Why?”
“I don't know, okay? I'm a girl. We do weird stuff. We have no self control.” I shrugged, trying to step away from him.
“Do you have feelings for me?” He asked, his voice serious. Never thought I'd see the day Robert Dyrdek was serious. “And tell me the truth.”
“I'm attracted to you.” I said instead.
“Then what's the problem?” His hand found my cheek, his other arm coiling around my waist.
“I – I don't...” I stuttered as he moved closer, brushing hair from my face. “Rob, I'm too young for you.”
“Not really.”
“Yes, really. Fourteen years is a big deal.” He sighed, resting his forehead against mine.
“It's not like it's illegal.”
“But it's frowned upon.”
“Not by me.”
“I haven't even known you for a day, Rob.” I insisted. “You don't know anything about me.”
“But I want to.”
Why is he such a fucking smooth talker?
I sighed, shoulders slumping. Rian's face flashed into my mind and I frowned.
“Rob,” I began, “this is all my hormones fault.”
“What?” He blinked, confused.
“I want sex.” I said simply. “My body is waiting and it's getting annoyed that it's not getting what it wants so it made me kiss you.”
“So your body wants me,” he said, voice low and still confused, “but your heart doesn't.”
“I don't know.” He leaned in, smashing his lips against mine. Caught off guard, I froze. Everyone was here – everyone could see this. Rian could see this. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, fucking no.
“Hey!” Tori's voice yelled and Rob was pulled away from me, leaving me standing there like an idiot. “Back off, Dyrdek.”
“Bri?” I heard Alex say, but I was too stunned to move. What was Rian thinking? Did he even see it? “Bri? Bri!” Alex shook me, snapping me from my gaze.
“What...” I trailed off, “the fuck?”
“You can kiss me but I can't kiss you?” Rob fumed, frowning.
“You kissed him?!” Everyone yelled besides Tori, who groaned and smacked her forehead. Rian definitely heard that. I looked around frantically, stepping backwards before turning and bolting away from the group.
“Bri, come back!” Tori yelled, but I kept moving.
Why do I screw up every good thing that happens to me?
X – X – X
My phone hasn't stopped ringing since I left the Fantasy Factory. This birthday sucks. I don't even know where I am. I hopped in a taxi and told him to just drive and I'd tell him to stop whenever I felt like it. I had enough money to pay him off.
“What's fun around here?” I grumbled to him. He glanced at me.
“There's horseback riding.” He said thoughtfully, smiling slightly as my eyes lit up.
“Really?” He nodded, pulling the next left and driving straight for a few minutes before hitting a dirt road.
“Alright, we're here.” I looked to the meter, digging through my pocket. “No, free of charge.”
“What?” I gaped.
“What kind of guy would I be if I made you pay on your birthday?”
“How did you...” He pointed at my shirt and I looked down, laughing at the sight of a “HELLO my name is...” sticker, that said BIRTHDAY GIRL instead of my name. I wonder who put that there. “Just let me pay you.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Now get out and have some fun.” I guess not all taxi drivers are miserable fucks. I hopped out and before he drove away, chucked some money through his window. I could see him laughing as he drove out. I turned, smiling slightly. Hopefully this clears my head.
X – X – X
After riding the same horse five hundred million times (I exaggerate, yes), I decided to just walk around. From the stables, I found a bar. The bartender saw my sticker and made the whole fucking room sing to me, then gave me pina coladas on the house. Like...since when are people so giving? I turned my phone off at the stables and haven't checked it since then. As I left with a daiquiri in my hand, I debated turning it on. I heard loud music playing somewhere down the street and got distracted, walking toward it. A club, eh? I thought it over. Everyone's gonna be mad at me when I get back. So I might as well live it up now, right?
A little voice in the back of my mind said wrong, but I found myself on the line nonetheless.
X – X – X
I staggered out of the club, squinting to see the time on my watch. 12:45. Shit. My birthday's over. No fun! I turned my phone on.
104 missed calls.
89 unread text messages.
12 new voice mails.
God damn it. My head was spinning and I was almost too drunk to scroll through my list of contacts. Almost.
It only rang once.
“Where the fuck are you?” Rian's angry voice met my ears.
“Hi, sexy!” I giggled. “I'm...I don't know where I am!”
“What? Are you....are you drunk?”
“No!” I laughed. “Not really! Well, maybe a little.” I tried walking on the curb but ended up just walking on the side of the road.
“Damn it.” He groaned. “Do you see any street signs?”
“Tree mines?”
“Street signs!”
“Oh.” I laughed. “Uhm....Oaky Rodey Artichokie” I read the sign, adding in some of my own twist.
“...Oak Road? How the fuck did you get all the way over there?”
“I hitch hiked.”
“What?”
“Just kidding!”
“It's not funny.” I heard shuffling. “I'm coming to get you.”
“You're coming?! While I'm on the phone?! That's gross! Cover Rian Jr's eyes!”
“Stop yelling.”
“I'm not yelling!”
“How much did you drink?” He sighed.
“I have no idea.” I threw my arm out for effect, but only ended up slipping and falling on my ass. “Ow!”
“Are you okay?”
“No. I fell on my booty. Come kiss it.” I crawled onto the curb and sat there with my legs crossed. “Where are you? I'm bored.”
“I'm on my way. Just hold on.” I sighed dramatically. I heard other voices in the background and furrowed my eyebrows.
“Is that her?” A girl's voice said.
“Yeah.”
“BRIANNA YOU MOTHER FUCKER,” Tori's voice yelled, making me wince, “WHERE. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU.”
“Oaky!”
“Oaky? What the fuck is Oaky?”
“She means Oak Road.”
“WHAT THE FUCK, BRI!” The phone was silent and a Alex's voice came on.
“I'm gonna fucking kill you.”
“You're gonna fuck me? Ew!”
“She's wasted?”
“Off her ass.”
And so now I'm waiting and still on the phone cause they won't let me hang up until they get here. La la la. It's really boring just sitting here. Ooh, pretty stars. I looked at the sky and fell onto my side, sighed loudly.
“What did you do now?” Vinnie, who I was now on the phone with, asked.
“I fell.” I grumbled, lying down completely.
“Get off the ground.” He spoke.
“I don't want to – PUPPY!”
“Huh?” I shot up, holding my arms out and dropping my phone at the sight of little dog in the alley.
“Here, doggy. Come here.” I cooed quietly, catching it's attention. It gave me suspicious eyes. I heard mumbled talking through the phone by my feet but payed no attention to it. “Come here. It's okay.” It stepped forward hesitantly, slowly. “That's right. It's okay.” I saw a tag shimmering on the collar around his neck. Oh no. He's lost! Now I have to help him. He sniffed my hand cautiously before stepping closer. I pulled him into my lap, petting him as I picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Where'd you go?” Why am I on the phone with Jack now?
“I found a puppy.”
“A real puppy?”
“Mhm. He says hi.”
“I think she's losing it.” I heard him say to someone.
“I didn't lose anything.” I huffed. “Where are you guys? Me and...” I looked to his nametag, “Shiloh are getting cold.”
“Who the hell is Shiloh?”
“The puppy.”
“We're almost there.”
“Who's coming?” I asked. “Besides Rian. He came already. And it was gross. Did he cover Rian Jr's eyes like I told him to?”
“....What?”
“What?”
“You're a fucking weird drunk, you know.”
“NO FOUL LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF THE PUPPY!” He sighed.
“We're almost there.”
“Who's we?”
“Everyone.” He hung up. Oh, great. A car rolled up then and lo and behold, out popped Tori.
“She did find a puppy.” She blinked, approaching. Shiloh stared as she leaned down. “Hi there, cutie.”
“Hello yourself.” I replied.
“Not you, idiot.” She scooped Shiloh into her arms. “He has a home? Darn.” I nodded, trying to stand, but wobbled. Rian grabbed me, silent, and brought me to the car.
“No.” I dragged my feet. “I'm not going with you.”
“Get in the car.”
“You're mad at me!”
“Just get in!”
“I'm not getting in if you're mad at me!”
“What do you fucking expect?!” He snapped. “You kissed Rob when you damn well know how I feel about you!”
“No, Rian, I don't know how you feel about me! You never act like you're interested at all!”
“I've tried kissing you twice!”
“Yeah, tried!” I yelled. Alex, who was driving, watched with Jack in the front seat, staring. Vinnie was in the back. Everyone else, Matt, Zack, Sam and Jared & Mikey were in the other car that just pulled up. “We never got anywhere! Excuse me for having hormones!”
“What are you talking about?!”
“I WANNA HAVE SEX, YOU FUCKER!” I screamed. “I'm not a virgin! My body wants to fuck someone! Would I fuck you if I could? Hell fucking yes! Every second of the day! But we never got anywhere! Rob was there and we had something and my body reacted! IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING, OKAY? I didn't wanna fuck him because I like you too god damn much!” I ranted, taking in his surprised expression. Tori stood off to the side, Shiloh in her arms, staring with her mouth hanging open. I'm pretty sure everyone else had the same face on. Even the dog. “And now my head is killing me. Fuck you all.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I started to fall, but never hit the ground.
♠ ♠ ♠
Tadaaaaaa.XD