You Left Me With Nothing but a Kiss

I walked into the bar like nothing happened and felt everyone's eyes on me.

Shortly after, Beth came stomping in behind me.

She glared daggers at me.

Oh shit.

I think I took this one a little too far. I had to fix this, all of it.

After everyone looked away I walked up to Beth as she was making her way to the table.

"Can we talk?"

"Go fuck yourself," she spat. "Oh wait, I guess you don't have to," she whispered angrily.

She pushed past me and joined everyone at the large table they were seated at.

She sat in between Halvo and Rachael.

She started chatting like everything was fine.

I finally snapped out of my daze and took the only available seat at the far end of the table next to Jared. I kept sneaking glances at Beth every chance I got. She was never looking back.

"Excuse me, sir? Would you like another beer?" The waitress asked.

"Uh, no thanks. Can I just get a water?" I replied.

I was too down to drink tonight. I really fucked up.

The waitress nodded and took my empty bottle away.

"Water John? Come on! I'm paying tonight," Garrett yelled.

"No thanks man," I told him shaking my head.

"Dude, what happened out there?" Jared asked from next to me.

"Nothing," I told him shortly. My tone warned him not to inquire further.

A little while later, Garrett and Rachael went up to do karaoke together.

They were singing some love song duet and I took it as my chance to try to get close to Beth.

I got up from my seat and walked around the table, everyone's eyes following me once again.

I pulled out the chair next to her and sat down.

"Will you just talk to me?" I pleaded, trying to look into her eyes.

She just ignored me and turned her head towards Halvo.

I sighed and looked down.

"Hey John? Could you get out of my seat?" I heard. I looked up to see Rachael standing over me. Surprisingly, she didn't ask it in a bitchy way.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," I apologized, pulling the chair out for her.

"Thanks," she smiled.

I faked a smile back and walked outside. I breathed in the cool air and pulled my cigarettes out of my pocket. I lit one up and breathed in the toxins.

"Hi there, you look like you need some cheering up. Wanna get out of here?" Some blonde girl asked.

Yeah, she was kind of hot. But I wasn't in the mood to make another mistake.

I pulled my cigarette out of my mouth to reply.

"No," I told her sternly without looking at her.

She looked annoyed and walked back inside.

I put out my cigarette and just stood outside thinking.

If I didn't play all these stupid mind games with her, she would be with me. We would be happy. But no, I had to be an asshole and make us both unhappy. And even through all of the stupid shit I did, Beth stood by me. She made excuses for the way I acted. She begged the guys to let it go, and I was the reason she passed out this morning and she told me she loved me afterwards.

She's too good for me. She always has been, and always will be. Everyone knows that.

The seven months we dated were the happiest days of my life and instead of gladly accepting her back into my arms, I let my stupid pride get in the way.

If the tables were turned, she would have forgiven me in a heartbeat.

And then, I get her hopes up. I have sex with her in the back of a van and then walk away.

I wouldn't even take me back.

My tear ducts started to act up at the thought of living another eight months, or more, without Beth, Bee, my Bethy.

My Bethy wasn't mine anymore.

That thought put me over the edge as the tears were flowing freely now.
I heard the door to the bar open and turned my body away so that the person wouldn't see my mini breakdown.

"John?"

Damn. Rachael. The last person I wanted to see me like this.

I turned around and looked at my feet.

"John, what happened?" She asked, sounding concerned for once.

"I just," I couldn't finish in fear that my voice would give out.

I looked up at her and she saw the tears trailing down my face.

"John, it's gonna be okay," she assured me.

"No it's not," I shook my head.

"Remember all that energy it took hating her? If you turn that into love we both know that you can win her back in no time," She told me.

"Did she tell you what happened?" I asked getting embarrassed.

"No, when I asked her what happened she just said 'I'm done' and didn't say anything else," she explained.

"Well that's good and bad," I breathed. By now I had calmed down enough that I could speak clearly.

"What did happen...?" Rachael asked eyeing me suspiciously.

"I just...did a bad thing," I spoke uneasily.

"John...," she warned.

"Trust me, Rach. You don't want to know. Just go back inside and enjoy the rest of your night," I urged her.

"Not until you come back in," she said stubbornly.

"Fine," I gave up, not wanting to ruin the night of her engagement with my problems.

We walked back inside and I took my seat next to Jared.

I resumed staring at Beth while she talked to everyone on the other end of the table.

"So beautiful...," I murmured.

"What?" Kennedy asked from across me.

"What? Oh, just Beth-" I started say.

"Dude, no more trash talk tonight," he whined.

"Actually, I was going to say that she looked beautiful," I corrected him.

"What? How drunk are you? How drunk am I?" He questioned.

I just shook my head and glanced back at Beth.

This time, Rachael was talking into her ear and Beth was looking at me.

Albeit, it wasn't a nice look. But it was still a look.

After Rachael was done whispering in her ear Beth looked at her and spoke while shaking her head. I really wish I could read lips right now.

I would do anything to make this right again.

_______________________________

"Okay, you can take off the blindfold," Beth said as she finished leading me to my Christmas present.
I pulled the rolled up t-shirt down my face and saw Beth standing next to a red motorcycle.

"Oh my god," I gasped looking at the bike.

"You like it?" She asked nervously.

I looked up and ran over to her picking her up in my arms and spinning her around.

I swear I kissed every spot on her gorgeous face before letting her down.

"Baby, how did you afford this? You got me so much other stuff too," I marveled.

"I sold my soul to the devil," she replied sarcastically.

"Seriously, how-"

"Don't ask me. Merry Christmas baby," she smiled.

"God, you're too good for me," I chuckled.

"I know," she giggled back.