You Left Me With Nothing but a Kiss

After the incident with the box, I was fully convinced that John Cornelius O'Callaghan the Fifth hated me. He has not one ounce of love for me left in his beautiful body.

I sat in the passenger seat of the van, next to Nick who was driving.

"Halvo told me what happened at The Maine's set today," Nick said.

"Yeah," I replied not wanting to think about it anymore.

"You've got to start to stand up for yourself, kid," Nick told me with sadness evident in his voice.

"No, I really don't," I mumbled.

"Why? Why are you letting him treat you like that?" Nick questioned raising his voice.

By the eery silence in the van I could tell that everyone else was listening in on us.

"Because he's right. I am a bitch and a no good skank. I left him without an explanation or any clue as to where I was going. Bottom line is that I deserve it. I would feel even worse if he didn't speak to me at all. At least this way he talks to me...," I trailed off at the end.

"Oh come on! Do you honestly believe any of that bullshit you just gave us?" Andrew spoke from the back.

"Yeah, I mean you can't seriously think that you leaving him makes you a bitch. We couldn't turn you into a bitch if we tried!" Justin exclaimed.

I turned around in my seat to face them.

"You weren't there. You didn't hear his voice or see his face," I whispered in a shaky voice. The looks on their faces immediately softened.

"I'm sorry, I just hate seeing you get put down all the time," Andrew said apologetically.

"Why did you leave him, Beth?" Halvo asked softly.

I had never actually given the guys an explanation, I always told them I didn't want to talk about it.

"Yeah, you guys were so ridiculously fucking cute together," Nick said.

I sighed knowing I finally had to tell them.

"I was scared," I started. The looks on their faces told me they wanted to hear more.

"We had been fighting a lot and he was always gone. It was getting hard so, I packed up and left because I didn't want to be the one getting hurt in the end. You see? I'm a selfish bitch. He begged me to stay and work things out but I didn't," By now I was almost sobbing. Hot tears were running down my face as I heard a seatbelt unclick. Before I knew it, Halvo was between the passenger and driver seat placing an arm around me and trying to calm me down.

"I l-love him so-o much," I cried into his shoulder.

"We know," he said rubbing my back.

"Bu-ut he hates me," I sobbed more.

"No he doesn't. Even if he won't admit it, he loves you," Nick interjected.

"Yeah, people don't go from the disgusting level of cute you guys were at, to hate. It doesn't happen," Justin said from the back.

"Well he di-id!" I cried harder. "I miss him so much," I squeaked. I felt guilty for making the guys feel so awkward, but luckily we pulled into a diner to eat. All the guys hopped out except for Eric. I pulled away from him after calming down.

"Go in," I urged him.

"You sure? Are you gonna be okay?" He asked looking worried.

"Yeah, I'll be in soon. I just have to re-do my make up," I told him.

"Okay," he said giving me a sad smile.

Once he got out I quickly dried my tears and re-applied my make up. After a few seconds of making sure I was calm enough to be bombarded with insults I entered the small restaurant.

I slid into a booth next to Andrew and took a quick look at the menu. I looked up and around at the large booth and spotted John on the other side sitting between Tim and Nick. I made eye contact with him for a second and we both quickly looked away. I wanted to jump across the table and scream my love for him but I decided against it, obviously. The waitress came to take our orders and I went first.

"Could just get a chocolate milkshake, please?" I asked waiting for a sarcastic chuckle or a rude comment to come. When it didn't I glanced at John with a confused look on my face. He was still looking at the menu, so he must not have heard me.

"So, how's it going, Beth?" Kennedy asked from across the booth after the waitress left.

"Um, pretty good," I lied.

"That's good," he replied. "Hey, we're sorry for what he said today," He said leaning over the table and speaking very quietly.

"It's fine Kenny, really," I assured him.

He gave me a half hearted smile and joined the rest of the group in a conversation about the shitty hotel we stayed at last week. I stayed quiet, as I didn't really feel like talking. John was also being unusually silent. I would glance up at him every few minutes to catch him staring into space. I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about, and if he was thinking about me. I also couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't being mean. Restaurants were his prime time for insults and he hadn't even spoken a word since I'd gotten here.

Our food came soon, and as I was sipping on my milkshake he finally started;

"Aren't those a little fattening?" He asked with a smirk.

"John...," Nick warned.

"What? I'm just saying you should try to eat a more balanced meal. Or just skip one here and there," John smirked. He knew that I was self conscious about how I looked. I was curvy, but I wasn't fat. After he said that, I stopped sipping the milkshake and looked down at my lap.

"C'mon John. Just quit it!" Tim barked.

"It's okay guys. He's right, I should've gotten real food," I said ignoring his comment about not eating.

The guys just stayed quiet, knowing I was just making excuses for John.

Andrew shot me a disappointed look. I just shrugged in return. Andrew and I were pretty close. After I left John, I stayed with him in Mass for a while and he had helped me through everything.

After everybody had finally finished eating, the waitress set our check down on the table. Tim grabbed it and started pulling out cash.

"Hey, hold up Tim. Beth, you haven't paid for any meals so far. I think it's only fair," John suggested.

I knew I didn't have any cash on me and I didn't have enough in the van to cover everyone's meal.

When we went on tour we all took turns paying at restaurants and such. I usually paid for everybody in A Rocket To The Moon's lunch or breakfast, so they usually covered me for dinner but I realized that I probably looked like a mooch to the guys from The Maine.

Tim quickly spoke "Don't worry about it, pay me back later," he winked.

"Thanks Tim," I smiled back.

John just rolled his eyes and grumbled.

After we had paid we all went back to our respective vehicles and got ready to hit the road.

"Hey Halvo, do you need us to take something since you guys have that extra weight?" John asked, making sure I heard.

"What?" Eric replied.

"You know, thunder thighs over there," he said gesturing to where I stood.

"Shut the fuck up, dude! God, you're such an asshole," Eric said climbing into the van.

"Thanks," I said to Eric.

"Don't mention it," he replied.

I remember a day when John was the one standing up for me.

_______________________

I sat at my merch booth with an uneasy look on my face. The girls in the booths next to me had been teasing me about my innocent behavior. Particularly the fact that I was a virgin.

"Hey Beth, I was wondering if I could like borrow a condom or something? I really want to hook up with John Ohh tonight," Allison, The Summer Set's merch girl, teased.

I just rolled my eyes and ignored her.

Just then John walked over to me and sat down. He saw the girls snickering in my direction.

"What's up with them?" He asked with concern.

"They're just making fun of me," I replied.

"Why? You're perfect!" He stated with a serious look.

"For being a virgin," I replied quietly. John stood up, took my hand in his, and strolled over to them.

He stood up on a folding chair and let go of my hand.

"Hey guys!" He announced to the small crowd that was around the merch booths. "My name is John and I'm a virgin! Also, I have a huge crush on this pretty girl right here!" He announced, gesturing to where I stood. "And I wanted to know if she'd go on a date with me?" He asked looking at me with hopeful eyes.

I just shook my head 'yes' excitedly.

"Thanks! That's all!" He said climbing down from the chair.

I looked over and saw Allison and Heather with their mouths wide open.

"So, tonight?" John asked looking down at me.

"What about tonight?" I asked.

"The date! Wanna go tonight?" He questioned.

"You were serious about that?" I grinned.

"Yeah! I've had a crush on you like, forever," he said shyly.

"Me too!" I giggled giving him a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

"Good, because I don't think I could handle you liking another guy," he laughed. It was then I knew that I could never like another guy if I tried.