Lullaby And Goodnight

Staring blankly at the wall, the vicar mumbled on. My fingers twisted and turned, playing with my crimson red tie. I felt a hate for this vicar, he was droning on and on, bored with this daily rutine, not caring that everyone who sat in front of him, sobbing, suffering, was experiencing an awful loss. The jet black, shiny coffin was laid out infront of us. I knew my best friend was laid peacefully in there. I would always hope we would hear a shrill scream and the lid would be torn off and Rachael would scream and I would wrap my arms around her and pull her out and kiss her and tell her I loved her, but I knew that would never happen, no matter how much this vicar babbled on.

I was pleased to see Jake had dissappeared, he hadn't even gone back to get his dog from the stables where Rachael lived. Rachael's parents were sending the dog to the shelter. I think they were getting her put to sleep. They wanted nothing more to do with Jake and her dad wanted him dead, as did I. I thought killing the dog was a little too much but upon examination, the dog had cuts under her fur, so Rachael wasn't the only living thing receiving abuse. Jake would be sentanced to life in prisonment, but if he ever got out, I'd be going in for torture and murder.

I jumped as Frank nudged my shoulder. I noticed everyone around us had stood up and were singing. I stood up, but didn't sing. Unfortunately for me, the vicar would make me pay for that.

"The girl's parents have requested her best friend read a poem for her and sing for us. Rachael's favourite lullaby was also a favourite of this man. Mr. Way, if you wouldn't mind."

Everyone's eyes were on me. My cheeks burned red and my legs shook as I stumbled up to the alter. The vicar pressed play on a tape player, and an all too familiar melody swirled around the room. I kept my eyes on the coffin. Letting my imagination take me back to the first time I sang this to Rachael. I saw her, laying naked on the bed beside me in the orphanage. I was crouched over my canvas as the worlds slipped between my lips, through the chapel while my eyes remained glued to the coffin where Rachael was laying.

"Um...this is just something I threw together for her, it's not brilliant, but it's something.

Goodbye, my love,
my world has lost it's light.
The golden days you gave me,
have now turned into night.
You were my rock to lean on,
for more than six whole years,
and with my memories I'll shed,
more than a million tears.

I've also been asked to sing Rachael's favourite lullaby, so, here go's.

Lullaby, and good night,
Blood red roses beside,
With lilies over spread,
Is my baby's sweet head.
Lay you down now, and rest,
May your slumber be blessed!
Lay you down now, and rest,
May thy slumber be blessed!

Lullaby, and good night,
You're your best friend's delight,
Shining angels beside
My darling abide.
Soft and warm is your bed,
Close your eyes, rest your head.
Soft and warm is your bed,
Close your eyes, rest your head.

Sleepyhead, close your eyes.
We're all right here beside you.
I'll protect you from harm,
You will wake in my arms.
Guardian angels are near,
So sleep on, with no fear.
Guardian angels are near,
So sleep on, with no fear.

Lullaby, and sleep tight.
Hush! My darling is sleeping,
On her sheets white as cream,
With her head full of dreams.
When the sky's bright with dawn,
She will wake in the morning.
When noontide warms the world,
She will frolic-."

I choked on the last line, knowing she wouldn't wake up once the sun rises. My mom rose to come to me, but Helana sat her back down when she saw Frankie rise and let reached me. His arms wrapped tightly around me and I broke down on his shoulder. The room applauded, but not the sort that makes you grin and glow with pride. The type that let you know your appreciated and you'd just touched the hearts of everyone who heard your voice. Helena moved up and let Frankie sit beside me. The vicar nodded in my direction and continued the rest of his service quickly. Everyone on the first three rows on the right were allowed to go to the coffin one by one. I requested to go last, which I was granted.

I watched people one by one leave the room until it was our turn to go to the coffin. I watched all twenty four people kiss the coffin before leaving the room. The vicar sat quitely in the corner, flicking through a huge, old looking book. Finally I was alone. I stood about a meter away form the coffin, scratching the back of my head uncomfortably. The vicar left the room to go into the back and I was more than greatful. I rested my hand on the shiny black smooth wood.

"I'm so sorry Rachael. I'm sorry for not reaching you in time. I'm sorry for choking on the last line, and I'm sorry for changing a few words. I just wanted to make it a little more personal for you. I don't know if you can hear me babe. I hope you can. It's been a week. Just a week, and already I feel like half of me is missing. I'm already missing you so damn much. I love you Rachael, I want you to know that...I need you to know that. It's over now. People have to start moving on. I wrote something for you baby.

Rachael, you and I were best of friends.
Together we would laugh and cry,
then you slipped away so suddenly,
no time to say goodbye.
I'll carry on without you,
but things will never be the same
Goodnight, God bless I'll miss you,
until the day we meet again.

I promise you. That wont be soon, but when we do meet, I'll tell you stories of my loves, my children, my grand children, my great grand children. I'll tell you everything about the band. I'll always remember you as the chirpy girl I first met. The girl I drew for art class. I love you babe, I wont forget, never forget." I kissed the coffin and ran my fingers over the engraving of her name, before dragging myself outside. Frankie's arms wrapped tightly around me the moment I was outside of the church. I cried myself out on his shoulder before we climbed into the hurst to her final burrying ground.