Time Won't Heal This Damage

Eliana and Jacob arrived at the school. She was wearing something simple and not in her usual baggy clothes anymore. She was still healing from her burn marks and broken rib so she was wearing a long sleeve shirt and simple jeans. Jacob’s arm was around her shoulders. Once they passed a couple of people he could hear their whispers saying they couldn’t believe they were going out. He was glad Eliana couldn’t hear the awful things girls would say like ‘I wonder what she blackmailed him with’ or ‘She must be trying to fit back in’.

Eliana could care less for the stares and the whispers. She was used to them. Jacob and Eliana sat with Qui and Embry. Embry and Quil welcomed her warmly now. Quil remembered when he thought Jacob’s imprint on her was a mistake but he couldn’t be happier now that Jacob looked so happy. His eyes were a lot brighter since he was with Eliana.

Eliana looked at the crowd with a glare.

“Get a fucking life and look away bitches!” She snapped at them.

Since none of them had the courage to say anything back to her they all looked away. Eliana was satisfied with that.

“You two are going to be the talk of the school for the remainder of the year.” Embry said.

“They can talk all they want.” Eliana muttered. “God, I need a smoke so bad.” Eliana shook her leg. “Jacob’s making me quit and I’m a bit… moody.”

Quil and Embry chuckled but stopped when they saw her cold stare. The bell for the first class went off. Eliana and Jacob went to their English class. The class stared at them but once she glanced at them they went back to ‘doing something’.

Eliana didn’t take her usual seat away from Jacob. They sat together in the back.

“You all right?” Jacob asked her noticing she was a bit pale.

“I hate school.” She said in a sigh.

“Good morning class.” Mr. Cook said as he sets down his briefcase on his desk. His eyes roamed the classroom and landed on Eliana. “Welcome back Ms. Forest, how are you feeling?”

“Peachy.” Eliana feigned a sincere smile.

Mr. Cook chuckled. “You have a lot to catch up to.”

“Right.” Eliana said.

He took his eyes off of her and continued with the lesson. Eliana didn’t pay attention. She really needed a smoke and it wasn’t helping that people kept pissing her off.

Her leg kept shaking. Jacob placed his hand on her knee and she stopped.

“Relax.”

Something snapped inside of her. “That’s easy for you to say you’re not quitting smoking!”

Mr. Cook went silent.

“Is there something you’d like to share, Mr. Forest?”

Eliana took her bag and got up. “Yeah, this fucking blows.” She walked out of class and the usual Ooh’s went around the class. Jacob didn’t hesitate to go after her.

She was walking towards his rabbit when he caught her arm and stopped her.

“What the hell was that?”

“I can’t do it, Jake! I really need to smoke.”

“But that thing gives you cancer!”

Eliana growled. “You don’t get it!”

“I get that you want to die from getting lung cancer!” He shouted at her.

“Why are you trying to change me?!”

“Change you?” He asked stunned by her assumption. “How?”

“These clothes and… quitting smoking.”

“I get the clothes part but what do I have to say to make you understand Smoking. Is. Bad?!”

Eliana stumped her foot like a little kid.

“I need nicotine gum or something. I can’t just do this cold turkey.” Eliana said.

Jacob smiled. He, at least, wanted her to quit smoking. He had an uncle die from it.

“All right, let’s go get you some. We can try school again tomorrow.”

Eliana smiled. They made sure no one was looking and they went to his rabbit and headed to Port Angeles to go to the pharmacy.

[Back Home]

Eliana takes out one of the nicotine gum and starts chewing it. She did feel a little better. She went over to Jacob’s couch where he was sitting down watching something random on TV. She notices it was a rerun of Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. She sat next to him.

“Krypton’s a sex addict.” Eliana said.

“What?” Jacob laughed.

“Seriously, he couldn’t go on without having sex for a single day.”

“But… you weren’t with him everyday.” Jacob said slowly. It wasn’t that he was slow he just couldn’t believe it.

Eliana shrugged.

Jacob scoffs. “You’re just going to shrug to that?!” Jacob burst out.

Eliana was taken back by it. “I wasn’t in love with the guy, Jake.”

“I know that… but what if he had given you an STD or HIV?” He said outraged by her calmness.

“Krypton wasn’t stupid. He only slept with girls he knew didn’t have anything and his prostitutes were ‘cleaned’.” Eliana said with a light chuckle.

“Why are you taking this so lightly?”

“Because it isn’t a big deal, dude, jeez.” Eliana rolled her eyes and got up and went to the kitchen. Jacob followed close behind her.

“You have to understand your world is different from mine.” Jacob said.

“I know that… look. You don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself and my past is the past. We’re moving forward and those things in the past don’t matter anymore.”

Jacob couldn’t comprehend why she won’t talk about her past with him.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Jacob asked.

Eliana scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Are you mad?! I’ve talked to you! God…” She stopped herself before going berserk on him. “What is it that you want to know?”

“I want to know why you think so freely about working for a dangerous mob?” Jacob said looking into her eyes and he saw the wall just go up. “I want to know… about you working for the mob.”

Eliana looked away from his eyes. His soft brown eyes would make her tell him the entire thing and she just didn’t want to.

“Here’s the deal, Jakey, the things I’ve seen, witnessed and done is so… bad,” She laughed dryly, “that I don’t want to think about it so I blocked those parts and opening that can of worms will be very bad for me. All you need to know is that I’m getting over it slowly.”

She walked away again but this time she went outside the house and sat on the porch. Jacob didn’t follow her this time. He knew she needed to cool down. He walked outside of the house and saw her sitting down on the rocking chair.

“I’ll be at the Cullen’s. Call my cell if you need me.” He said and she nods.

Jacob went to his rabbit and drove away. Eliana watched as he left. Opening up was not something she was used to. She can quit smoking but telling her horror stories to someone as special as Jacob was something she didn’t want to.

She didn’t want to see the horror in his eyes and how they’ll scream ‘Murder!’. No, if he saw her like that she’ll never be able to get over it. Jacob’s image of her was already tainted, if he knew the details of her life in the past four years would make him turn his back and runaway like every other person has done so.