Best ***ing Friend

My eyes grew wide and I gasped on the inside. No.
I cant. My plan was to keep my distance. Even though I was one of his best “women”
I was one of 5 since Matt couldn’t choose one, or at least that’s what he told the rest of the guys. He would’ve chosen me if the guys wouldn’t be pissed at him for doing so- his words not mine.

Hmmm…
The grooms quarters
I wasn’t planning on going there.
My plans were to avoid Matt at all costs except for when I had to stand beside him as he said his vows. Vowing to myself that after that moment I would end all contact with him.
I’m not being a bitch or anything but- its really fucking hard having to be someone’s best friend who your madly in love with, who’s madly in love with someone else- not knowing how I feel for him. See…
I think it’ll be better to just sever myself from the equation all together.
I was going to stay away during the reception even though I was seated at his table it wouldn’t be hard to be lost in a wedding party.
I’d skip out on my speech leaving it to Jimmy claiming I was too shy, when everyone at the damn wedding knew my whole name, first middle and last.

I’d fake being wasted when it came time for the first dance, taking off the brides garter and tasting the cake….
Then when it came time to leave I’d simply wave goodbye from across the room and sit in Dania’s car until she came and drove me home so I could cry for several hours.
I had it all mapped out.

“ I wasn’t…I- I figured he wanted to be alone” I sigh in a shy voice.
Jimmy raised a brow at me before snatching my hand in his and pulling me up from my seat in the corner.

“ He’s been whining about where you’ve been for the past 2 hours”

“ He’s getting married why would he be whining about me ?” I mumble

Hopefully he didn’t hear me.
The only one who knew and would ever know about my affections toward Matt would be Dania. Everyone else might have suspected or thought they knew but no one knew for sure except for her.
Since fucking kindergarten, when I had cooties and he refused to let himself touch me for even a second.

“ You’re his best friend…well besides my sexy ass of course” Jimmy replies cockily.
I covered my mouth self consciously, fuck he heard me.
We walked down two halls in the chapel before we reached one where there was a single door in it.
Jimmy pushed me forward and opened the door from behind me since I stood there, not moving.

“ I found her!” he announced proudly as he shoved me in the room.
I kept my eyes on the carpet, hearing a sigh of relief coming from Matt.

“ You look like you need a drink Matt” Jimmy smirks. I refused to look at him-so I wouldn’t know how he looked.

“ Would you ?” Matt replies his melodious voice pleading with Jim.
A light chuckle sounded before Jimmy walked off shutting the door behind him. I found in those few seconds time to gather myself and look like the friend he wanted.

“ Wow” I sigh turning my back to him as I looked about the room.

“ Fancy shmancy room you got here Matthew” I sigh

“ Yea…” he sighs breathlessly. I kept my back to him as I fingered the white suede couch.

“ Whats the matter ?” I ask

“ S’nothing you uhh…you look beautiful Nora”
My heart pounded as it did whenever he complimented me on anything.
Whether he was being serious...
“…You look beautiful” or an asshole joking around
“ Fuck! can your ass breathe in those ?”
I always found myself having to clutch something to keep from falling with my shaky ass knees.

“ Thanks Matt, you look great too”

“ I must look like shit cuz your not even looking at me” he chuckles.

Cursing inwardly I scoffed and turned to look at him.
He was gorgeous. Granted I could see him in his ripped jeans and sleeveless tees and practically melt. But today…
My eyes scanned his tux starting at the bottom. When I reached his face I blushed and looked down at my shoes.

“ You look aaiight” I joke with a shrug

“ Thanks” he replies I could hear that dazzling dimpled smile in his voice.

“ So…how you like my shoes ? Took me forever to find some that fit”

“ With big feet like yours it would”
I smiled harder than intended and chuckled.

“ Shut the fuck up…you love my big feet” No he doesn’t…he loves Val’s normal sized feet.

“ I do” he sighed making me gasp in surprise.

I let my eyes wander back up to look at him, noticing his crooked tie.
“ Your tie” I say nodding toward him.

He looked down and groaned.
“ I’ve been fighting with this shit for hours”
Hesitantly I stepped toward him, wishing I could run for the hills rather than near him.
I steadied my trembling fingers and bought them up to straighten the bow tie. I could feel those ridiculously beautiful eyes on me burning holes as I retied the tie. It took everything I had not to just faint and give up right there. Its crazy how he makes me feel.

“ All done” I sigh in a shaky breath patting his chest. All this contact is literallynot really killing me.

“ Thanks” he smiled and leaned forward to wrap his arms around me. I stepped back.

“ Whats wrong ?” he asks concern wiped allover his face.

“ N-nothing I promise just isn’t it time for you to get married already ?” I ask a little impatiently.

“ Gotta few minutes, why ?”

“ No reason I just wanna get wasted…” I fake smiled.
He could tell it was fake, he knew me like the back of his hand.
“ Hmmm” he sighed not pressing the issue but giving me a look that said, I know your lying and I wanna talk. But he didn’t.

“ So uhh I’ll see you out there ?” I ask turning to leave.

“ Wait! Nora” he says grasping my hand as I turned away to leave “ Just stay until we have to get out there” he sighs nervously.
I cant say no.

“ Uh okay” I shrug my voice even lower and shakier than before, I guess he heard the tears in my voice and spun me around. I didn’t even try to pull away, I should have.

“ Why are you crying ?”

He asks as two tears slipped down my face.
I quickly took my hand from his grasp and used both my thumbs to hold them back.