Best ***ing Friend

5 Days Later

Perhaps the most laziest, saddest most cryingest(I know its not a word) days I’ve ever experienced.
I called in sick to work, which I NEVER do-to sit in bed and wonder about shit that I knew would never be. What if I’d asked Matt to go with me to prom, would we be on our honey moon in Puerto Rico right now? If I’d told him the day he laid eyes on Val, would I be on the couch right now wondering?
After finishing my 6th twinkie throwing the empty wrapper on the floor I flicked the channel back over to Maury.

“ I’m 110 percent sure that he’s the father Maury!!! Look, look look at his nose!” The overbearing woman screamed as she ran up to the picture of her baby-who looked nothing like the father behind them.

“ I don’t know why she’s kidding herself” I mumble to myself opening another twinkie.
Then just as Maury was about to reveal the paternity results someone knocked repeatedly and hard on my door. Not stopping for anything.

Rolling my eyes I clutched my quilt to my body and ignored the knocking, continuing to indulge in my treat and wallow in my grief.
Then finally the knocking stopped, no more than 5 seconds later the person banged three times.

“ OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NORA!” Matt yelled.

I gasped dropped the twinkie from my hand along with the remote. They both fell on the floor and I just sat there not knowing what to say or do. Why is he here?…WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!
My mind raced as I thought about what to do- he knew I was here my TV is blasting and I have no escape. I cant face him, not after what I’ve done.

Having made my decision I walked to the door and decided opening it wasn’t the best idea, he could just bum rush his way in then.

“ M-Matt what are you doing here ?”

“ Open the door Nora, I wanna talk to you” he still sounded pissed.

“ NO. What do you want to talk about ?” I ask stupidly.

“ You know what the hell I wanna talk about open the door!” his fist banged against the door hard.

“ Why, shouldn’t you be on your honey moon ?” I ask

He remained silent for a while before he sighed.
“ You know….I have the key I can just come in if I want- I knocked to be polite”

Grunting loudly I began to undo the locks cursing myself for giving him a key and regretting every twist and turn I made knowing I wouldn’t be able to avoid what was to come next.

When he came in he didn’t say hello, didn’t look at me just walked in like he owned the place and looked around. I have no idea why I expected more.
He examined the living room where I’d been falling asleep for the past couple of nights. Littered with junk food wrappers and empty two liter soda bottles.

“ Sit.” he said sternly-pointing to the couch in front of him when I came from locking the door.

“ What are you here for Matt ?” I ask my voice shaking as I hugged myself and stared at the floor.

His glare damn near burned me.
“ Now.” he says with the authority a drill sergeant would have.

Growling with my hands clenched at my side I marched to the couch and sat down. Matt walked over to the TV and shut it off.
“ I’ve never…” he began talking as he paced the floor before me. I watched him intently, waiting for him to blow up.
“ Wanted to hit a woman as much as I wanted to hit you 5 days ago Nora.” Wow if that wasn’t an eye opener.

“ Thanks I guess”

“ Don’t talk yet, im not finished…” My mouth dropped, he never talks to me like this.

“ Don’t look at me like that, first off how dare you fucking walk out of my wedding Nora ? Do you know how humiliating and fucked up that was for my best friend to walk out on me ?”

“ I-” I was immediately interrupted.

“ Don’t talk Nora.” he snaps narrowing his eyes at me.
I rolled my eyes and dropped my head letting him finish.

“ And that hurt, not only me but Val and the rest of my family”
God! He was really trying to make me feel like shit.

“ I asked you to be my best man- err woman, because you mean the world to me and you’re my best friend, I thought you knew that”

“ I DO!” I had to say it

“ And then…” He says not even addressing me.

“ You have the nerve to ignore my fucking calls all week”
He stopped walking and stood directly in front of me, just staring at me as I looked at the carpet beneath my feet. After a while he gave a tired sigh and squatted in front of me.

“ Nora…Nora look at me” I did so warily.

“I called off the wedding…” I didn’t let those few words over excite me, though I can’t lie when I say my heart sped up and my knees went weak, that is until he said…

“ Until…your ready to stand up there next to me”

My eyes fell from his hazel ones and I sighed. This sucks.

“ Oh” is all I mutter, knowing I’d never do that again and he’d still hate me forever.

I glanced down at them, wiping my now wet eyes. He had to know by now what’s wrong with me. If he didn’t then he doesn’t know me as well as I thought.

“ You might as well let Jimmy be your best man, he’ll be worth it”

He sighed an exasperated sigh and put his hands on my knees.
“ Your right he would…why did you kiss me, Nora ?” he asks looking up at me.
I was hoping he wouldn’t ask this but he cut right to the chase.

“ It was mistake Matt I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry” I said bitterly

“ No it wasn’t, if it was you wouldn’t have run out the way you did”
Sucking my teeth I stood up and turned away from him.

“ You meant it” he said matter-of-factly.

“ So what if I did, you have Val, Matt and your gonna go get married like you said-but I wont be there I’ll tell you that now” I reply not knowing where all this hostility was coming from.

“ Why wont you come to our wedding ?” he asks standing up and walking up behind me, you could hear the slight edge in his voice but I paid it no mind. I took a step forward and turned around to face him.

“ Matt stop being so naïve about it, you know how I feel about you !”

“ How do you feel about me ?” he asks looking down at his hands.
I get it, he’s trying to make me say it.

“ You jerk…” I sobbed “ You fucking asshole you want me to tell you so I can feel like shit even more than I do, and then have you walk out of here and go get married knowing how I feel about you…you can leave now” I say wiping my face even though even more tears were starting to rush down my face.

“ No I don’t want you to tell me so I can make you feel like shit Nora, I want you to tell me because I know you’ve been wanting to for years now”

“ And how the fuck would you know that ?” I bark at him.

“ After you left…Brian told me, my mother told me, almost everyone but me…Even Val knew”

I gasped and furrowed my brow.
“ Well I’m sorry, I ruined your day then”

“ You didn’t…I-I just wish you wouldn’t have been such a fucking punk and told me earlier”

“ Why ?”

He took another step toward me and was standing right in front of me. I’d backed myself into a wall so I had nowhere else to go.
His hand came up to my face and he cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb across it.

“ What are you doing ?” I ask damn near shaking.
Smirking he leaned forward watching my every move as he did.
“ Ma-”

Before I could finish a whole thought his lips were on mine.
I gasped and froze as his hands knotted through my hair. Every feeling I’d felt for him seemed to intensify a million times over as he held me close to him.

“ I love you Nora” he whispered against my lips.

My head was spinning my heart was beating a million times faster than what it should have. I wanted to cry and kiss him all at once.
But with my stupid instincts I pushed him away, doubtfully.

“ Y-you…uhh Matt what are you doing ?” I ask staring at him with wide eyes.

“ I was kissing you” he smiled. But his smile faded when he saw my face. My brows furrowed as I continued to glare at him.

“ Why, why did you do it…is it because you feel sorry for me ? Is that it ?” I ask walking around him about to go to my bedroom.

“ No Nora” he hisses. Just as my hand reached for the knob on my bedroom door he grabbed me and pulled me against the wall pretty hard.

“ GOD ! YOU’RE THE MOST CONFUSING INFURIATING WOMAN I FUCKING KNOW ! NORA I JUST TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU AND YOUR DOUBTING ME AND RUNNING AWAY, WHY ?!”

“ Because Matt, I know you…you have the biggest fucking heart and I do not want you to kiss me or tell me you love me for pity or because I’m your best friend, if-if that’s what you’re here for then you should just go”

“ I’M HERE ARENT I…IF YOU KNOW ME SO FUCKING WELL THEN YOU’D KNOW I DON’T DO SHIT I DON’T WANT TO!”

“ You were gonna marry Val” I spit back

His glare faltered and he stepped back from me. For a second it was silent before he opened his mouth to speak.
“ I-I was…but do you know why ?”

“ Because you love her ?” I reply rolling my eyes.

“ Yea, but…the only reason I was even with her was because…cuz I couldn’t have you”

My mouth dropped and I was speechless.
“ What do you mean you couldn’t have me ?”

“ I couldn’t…you were always with someone, granted it wasn’t a long time but-you were always on dates and with some guy so I figured you weren’t interested”

“ Wasn’t interested ?” I ask still pretty dumbfounded.

Looking at me with saddened eyes he nodded.
“ Matt why…you should’ve jus-you should’ve just told me” I grunt “ All this shit could’ve been avoided had you been up front with me”

“ Could say the same for you”

Shaking my head I begin to smile.
“ I cant believe you liked me this whole time”

“ Liked you ? No. I fucking love you Nora ” he says staring me dead in the eye.
My smile grew wider and I blushed furiously looking down at my feet.

“ Nora ?”

“ Wait so when you said you weren’t getting married until I was ready to stand up there with you ?”

“ I meant exactly what I said, just not the way you thought”

“ Matt you aren’t asking me to-”

“ No, no!” he said quickly. I raised a brow at him as he stammered over his words.” No no no I just meant I wasn’t asking right now not that I wouldn’t want to...ya know marry you in the future I just don-”

I covered his mouth with my right hand and he stopped talking.

“ Are you done rambling ?” I ask
I could feel his smile beneath my hand as he nodded.

“ When I move my hand will you kiss me ?”

He nodded again, his enthusiasm peaking as his hazel eyes gleamed.

When I let go he leaned forward and gave me the softest, most tender kiss I’ve ever experienced. My lips tingled as our lips moved in synch. It was all I needed to make my eyes flutter and my heart beat out my ears. When we stopped I sighed and tried to steady my heavy breathing.
My mind was gone from me, as I leaned forward and kissed him again quickly before pulling back to catch myself. I was just so far gone and drunk of this guy that it was ridiculous.

“ Mmmm” I moan my eyes only barely open as I spoke. “ That was nice” I whisper.

“ So what do we do now ?” I ask as Matt pulled back from yet another heated session of us making out. Its only been 5 minutes, might I add.

“ First we need to clean this fucking living room, jeez your such a slob, Nora” he groans as he held a twinkie wrapper in my face. I smirked and leaned my head to the side, giving him an innocent smile.

“ You love me though”
His hazel eyes locked with mine and he nodded, no smile on his face, no trace or hint of a joking manner in his voice.

“ I do”