Scattered Black Roses

We arrived at a really big house with loud pounding music and people drinking everywhere. Girls were all over guys left and right. Well, at least I was dressed right for this.

Benn slowed the car to a park, “C’mon.”

I got out then he locked the car. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked me through the crowds of people until we were upstairs in a vacant room. “Why are we in-”

He pushed me up against the door and kissed me roughly.

Of course I kissed back, but I was a little surprised that he had gotten his tongue in my mouth. Well not that I was complaining.

Benn used one hand to slide down one of my dress straps then used his mouth to slide down the other. I felt his soft hair brush against my shoulder then felt him come back up and bite down on my neck. A gasp escaped my lips, all thoughts foreign to me.

As soon as he heard me, he lost it. He threw me down on the bed and got in between my legs still biting my neck. I could feel my heart rate speed up with every movement.

He slid his hand up my dress and licked down to my chest while his other hand felt around behind me for my bra clip.

At the feel of his hand near a place so sacred, I pulled myself away, pulling my straps back into place. “We can’t do this.”

Benn pushed me up against the headboard and slid both my dress and bra straps down. It was if he never heard what I said. Crap.

I covered my chest and turned away in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry I won’t look. I won’t look,” he managed to move my hands only to have me move them back.

“No, Benn. I don’t want this.”

“It’s okay it doesn’t hurt,” he put his hand up my dress once more this time I felt a sudden pressure go into me that made me jump.

A moan escaped my lips, but I still didn’t want to go on. “Benn, no.”

He did it again and smirked when I reacted. After that, he moved away from me licking two of his fingers. Then he said, “C’mon it’s a party let’s not waste it.”

It took me a minute to get up since I was so shaken. I was scared he wouldn’t stop, but he did now I felt strange. His body heat was gone from me and a part of me missed it already.

The feeling was pushed back into my thoughts as we went downstairs and started to drink. I knew I shouldn’t have been drinking, but I didn’t know what else to do. Besides, alcohol was the only beverage around.

I took sip after sip trying to pretend everything would be okay. It wasn’t. Neither was what I was doing.

After taking a deep breath I put down my glass and happened to look to my side. What I saw urged me to pick my drink back up and drink even more. It felt like I’d been shot with a two-sided arrow.

There was Benn with a really pretty girl on his lap making out with him. Her long curled red hair covered her face so I couldn’t exactly see her. But I did know she was kissing Benn. I could hear it and I could see his hands roaming her body hungrily.

I got up and walked out with no words. My feelings felt like they were buried in the sand only to be forgotten by the one who buried them. Chances upon chances were given to but I went and ruined it. Self-blame and depressing thoughts led me down the familiar path home as it started to rain.

When I got home I grabbed one of my mom’s vases of red roses and some black spray paint then went up to my room not bothering to dry off. After painting the flowers black, I opened my window and tossed all but one rose out. I watched as the scattered black roses became drenched then looked at the rose in my hand.

“Derrick, Benn, no one…” I said each one as I plucked the petals and watched them fall to the ground. When I got to the last two petals I was left with Derrick and Benn. “No one’ had been lost as an option.

After a long moment of staring at the rose, I got into bed. I looked at it one more time before falling asleep. When I woke up I was shocked to see that the rose had disappeared.