Scattered Black Roses

A few days later, I was with Benn at the clearing again except without the druggies. Thank goodness for that, but it was awkward. Now I was Benn's girlfriend. I've always wanted to be, right? Okay, I really wasn't thinking right.
Maybe it was because Derrick has been avoiding me or something.

The last time he'd spoken to me was when I tried to talk to him a while ago. There was no eye contact or anything from him since. He probably deleted my number from his phone. In fact, I hadn't even seen him since then. Maybe he was really, really upset.

“Benn, we need to talk; about us I mean," I hesitated.

We were both leaning against the same tree. I was in his arms with my head against his chest. He leaned casually against the tree as usual.

“About what?" he looked down at me.

I stepped out of his arms and faced him, “I think we need a break...These last few days have been amazing; more than what I could imagine, but I really need time to think...You understand right?"

“Of course I do," he came up to me and kissed me gently. Then he started to lead me out of the clearing. “I'll walk you to your hallway," he said.

“Okay," I let him do as he said because I wasn't truly sure why I did what I did. Honestly, I wanted not to be single, but at the same time I wanted to be. There was something on my mind that bugged me like a fly buzzing around my head.

“Here we are. I'll see you around," he kissed the top of my head after letting go of me.

I missed his touch and warmth. His arms felt right around me, but something told me to head home. That's just what I did, too.

As fast as I could, I left a note in Rena's locker, since I knew the combination that I'd be in the parking lot to pick her up when school was out. I ran down the hall to the back door of the school and unlocked my car with haste. It was just my luck that everything ran smoothly. In about an hour, I'd reached the woods.

I’d hope to find someone. Anyone. No. I wanted to find Derrick. There was no sign of him anywhere.

My car was back on the road within minutes after I got in. I looked at the clock and saw that school would be out in half an hour. Somehow I'd let Benn persuade me to skip class again. My parents would be mad, but quite frankly nothing would stop my mending heart. I'd be back at school in time to pick up Rena anyways.

“Rose, you missed class again!" she exclaimed as I parked the car near her so she could get in.

“I know," I was devoid of emotion.

“Do you need to talk to me about something?" she was in the car and buckling her seatbelt.

“No, I'm fine," I didn't have to look at her to know that there was a worried look on her face.

“Rosie, you know that you can tell me anything right?"

“I know, but I'd rather not talk about this right now. Please just change the subject or something. Change the radio station too," I pleaded because of the sad love song on the radio.

Rena reached her hand forward and changed the station to an old rock station. "If you say so. Anyways, there was another new student. His name is Collin and, get this, he's Australian!" she flipped her phone open and looked lovingly at the guy on the screen.

“Is it necessary to take pictures of every new guy that comes to school?" I rolled my eyes playfully at her.

“Maybe," she sounded distant as she stared at the picture.

“Rena, you like-like him don't you?" I joked.

“He's just sooo cute! Who could resist that sandy blonde hair and those gorgeous eyes?" she gushed.

I smiled. For some reason, I believed that this guy would be good for her.
Besides the fact that the subject was changed, my mind was off Derrick and Benn.

Rena snapped her phone shut," He has all the same classes as I do. It's like a miracle or fate!"

“Do you want to be dropped off at home or my house?" I asked, unintentionally changing the subject, as we neared both places.

“You can drop me off at my house. I have a lot of homework to do," she slid her phone into her pocket.

“Okay," I parked in front of her house.

“Good luck and call me if you need me!" she got out of the car and headed towards the front door.

I didn't reply as I started the car again and drove to my house. There were no cars in the driveway so I didn't bother to tell anyone I was back or anything. I went straight to my room and laid on my bed.

I fell asleep from the exhaustion I'd felt from wandering around the whole day. By the time I woke up, it was two in the morning. Good thing my parents didn't bother to wake me up, if they were even home.

I got off the bed and trudged over to my dresser mirror. My hair was all over the place, but still tamed and my mascara still looked perfect. With a sigh, I changed into a short dark red nightgown with thin straps. The neckline was a v-neck and it was low. It went perfectly with the plain silver chain with a Japanese symbol that stood for 'together'.

My phone started flashing and vibrating on my bed. I looked at the caller I.D. Surprisingly, it was Derrick's number. Why would he call me so early in the morning? Maybe he wanted to talk now or something.

“Hello?" I tried to sound nonchalant to hide my anxiety.

“This is Rose, right?" a woman asked.

“Yes, and who is this?" I was disappointed that it wasn't Derrick.

“I'm Derrick's mother. You were the only name I remembered so you were the one I called."

Oh. Crap. What was I supposed to say? What if she knew I broke her son's heart? What if she wanted to kill me or something? I nearly dropped the phone because of my shaking hand.

“Rose, honey, I'm at the hospital near your school. Do you know where that is? If not, I can pick you up. I think you need to be here. There's been a-a- well something bad happened to Derrick, please hurry now!" she sounded close to tears.

“I know where it is and I'll be right there," I grabbed white sneakers and ran out of the house with the phone to my ear.

“Thank you," she sniffled.

“Um, I hate to say this, but I really need to hang up before I can drive..." I said awkwardly.

“Oh yes, good girl...I'll be waiting at the entrance." the call was ended.
I sped out of the driveway and down the road to the hospital. It was the same one I'd been to when I passed out. I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to be here again, but things never happened according to my hopes.

When I parked the car, I ran up to the entrance and to the woman I remembered as Derrick's mom. She hadn't changed much. There was that usual cross hanging from her neck.

“Come on, come on, hurry!" she led me to the ER hallway of the hospital.
I stopped where I was when we got there. Worry coursed through me? How badly injured was he? Was he near-death? What if he-he- I couldn't think of Derrick as that 'D' word. I wouldn't.

“Rose, what are you standing around for? The waiting room is right over here!" she was on me about my apparent 'slowness' the whole time I'd been at the hospital. It started to annoy me, but I didn't show it.

“I know, I'm coming," I walked into the waiting room and saw many people in tears or on the verge of snapping at someone.

Ms. Garnell sat as close to the door as possible and pulled me down into the seat next to her. She looked as if she'd rip someone's head off at any moment. Her shoulders were tense and she raised her hands and held them together, saying a soft prayer it seemed.

“Ms. Garnell?" I asked as I touched her shoulder. “Are you going to be okay? Should I get another doctor? You look really pale..."

“No, I want my son!" she yelled.

I flinched and slouched down in my chair. I'd never seen any mom like this. It scared the crap out of me honestly.

A doctor came up to us after ten minutes of tense silence. “Your son is in extensive care right now. Family is only allowed in as of now," he tapped the edge of his clipboard while looking at me.

I looked at Ms. Garnell and she grabbed my hand, pulling me up. “This is my daughter so we'll both be going," she declared.

“Yeah, I need to see my brother," I went along with her.

“Right this way then," he led us to a room. He stopped at the door. “There are a lot of wires so please watch for them." The doctor walked away.

I looked at Ms. Garnell and motioned for her to go first. I was afraid to see him injured. Heck, I was afraid to go in the room.

“Are you sure you don't want to come in with me?" she asked gently as she put her hand on the handle.

“I'm sure," I walked back to the waiting room and held my head in my hands.

Tears stung my eyes, but I didn't cry. In my mind, I panicked about everything. I panicked that I wouldn't see him again and I panicked that if I went in the room he would yell at me or glare or refuse to look at me...Hopelessness filled me as I stared at the floor in front of my feet.

Thirty minutes later, Ms. Garnell walked out of the room and over to me. “Rose, are you going or not?" her eyes were red.

“I don't know. What if he doesn't want to see me?" I asked quietly.

“I'm sure he will," she encouraged.

I stared at her for a moment before standing up. There was a brief silence until I spoke, “I'll go see him." I made up my mind.

Ms. Garnell nodded and sat where I previously sat.

I took in a deep breath and walked down the hall. The door of Derrick's room separated us. It was like a brick wall keeping me out. The best way is always through. I had to keep telling myself as I put my hand on the handle. Slowly, I pushed the door open and walked in. What I saw had me break down in tears all over again.