Forest Green

For the next two months the two of us got really close but I was careful about all my actions. That didn’t stop me from falling deeply in like with Seth. He was even more amazing now that I actually know him. He was sweet yet fiery. He was playful but he was serious when needed. Not to mention the fact that seeing him and his beautiful face and his wonderful curves all the time drove me insane. But I restrained myself.

I kind of felt like some forty year old man fantasizing about the little boy down the street because Seth looked and acted so much like a kid. But then again there was something mature about him as well. He always knew what to do when a difficult situation arose. He was fucking perfect.

One day I couldn’t stand it anymore. We were at his house; I was watching something random on television while Seth sat next to me on his laptop. We were so close, our arms touched and he was leaning into me slightly. The hand he wasn’t using for the mouse on his computer was resting against mine and if he didn’t stop doing these little things I was going to have an aneurism. He tempted me in the most impure ways.

Before my thoughts started to go anywhere I excused myself to get a glass of water. I wouldn’t want to pop a boner with my little stuffed animal sitting next to me. Except he wasn’t mine. Damn.

After taking a few deep breaths, and gulping down as much water as I could in five minutes, I headed back into the living room, only to see Seth had set his laptop on the coffee table and was resting horizontally on the couch with his eyes closed. Adorable.

I went over and sat myself on the floor next to the couch trying to not make too much noise. “You asleep Seth?” I whispered just in case he was. He made a sound telling me that no, he wasn’t asleep just yet. “Okay,” was my quiet reply.

For the next few moments I just sat there, staring at his beautiful face. His lips were just as flushed today as they were two months ago when I first saw him. His lips were just…so pretty. And then I kissed him. Just like that. what I had tried to avoid so long happened in a fraction of a second.

I hadn’t even realized what I had done until Seth pulled away. My mind was in such a haze, I didn’t have one coherent thought running through my mind at the time. I did the only thing that I could think to do.

I stood up faster than ever and ran out of his house. My reactions to things tend to be a little more extreme than needed. And I didn’t even look him in his forest green eyes afterwards. I didn’t want to see what was there. It was nothing good, probably.

But I didn’t get lost in the wilderness just yet.

At this point in my twisted little tail I’m at home, once again entangled in my comforter, trying my very hardest not to scream. Tears are pricking my eyes because I’m just so scared of what’s going to happen next because I honestly had no idea. That and I hate myself for feeling like such a pansy.

My mom has been up to check on me but I haven’t unlocked my door for her. She knows about my sexuality and she’s fine with it. Apparently everyone knew it was going to happen except me.

Fantastic.

I’m just full of sarcasm lately, aren’t I?

I almost feel as if I dirtied his lips. I knew he had kissed others before and that he wasn’t even a virgin but that didn’t make me feel better about it. I practically lip raped him.

But it was a good kiss. A really good kiss.

Being the selfish person that I was I wanted another. I suppose I’d have to be content with just having one though.

Sometime in the next few hours, while I was still sulking pathetically in my bed, I fell into a dreamless sleep. It was as if I hadn’t slept in days. The truth was, however, that I usually sleep like a grizzly.

I awoke the next morning in a daze. I wasn’t too positive whether it was a Saturday or a Sunday, but it honestly didn’t matter at the moment. What mattered was food. I could feel my stomach eating itself.

Slowly, I got out of bed and pulled on some sweat pants and looked out the window, the sun was about at its’ midpoint, signaling that it was around noon. The central air was on when it was probably only just below seventy outside so I pulled on some socks in preparation for walking on the cold wooden floor.

I made my way down to the kitchen realizing that my parents weren’t home; they were at my grandmother’s house. Upon realizing this I also realized that it was, indeed, a Sunday. I also came to know that I was famished and I wanted some brownies now.

So to solve my hunger problem I did the only thing that would work. I went into the refrigerator and got myself out a brownie (or two) that I proceeded to eat as if I hadn’t eaten in days, when it hasn’t been over twenty-four hours.

In the middle of cleaning up the mess I had made there was a knock on the door. On any normal afternoon I wouldn’t have been worried but today was a Sunday when I didn’t have any plans at all and my parents weren’t home. How peculiar. I went over to the nearest window to see who was standing at the door.

Thankfully my house is L-shaped so I was able to get a clear look at who was waiting there. Wouldn’t you know it was Seth Jes.

And this is where I freaked out and ran into the woods.

I went to the back door, slipped on a pair of old Nike shoes and ran for the hills, or rather, the forest, without even shutting the door behind me.