I Promise That I Will See You Again

I keep tossing and turning in my sleep last night, feeling guilty that I had kiss Andy last night when I’m with Alex, it was like I was torn between the two. To either be with the guy I just met or the guy that I ran away from because I had his child only for him to walk back in it. I was so confused, and I guess it showed when I got up the following morning since my mom kept asking how I slept last night. She even ordered me to go back to bed and that she would watch Riley so that I could take a nap, and no matter how I tried to argue against her she would just give me that look that all mothers give their kids. So I did what I was told and marched upstairs to my room, except I didn’t go to bed I just laid down staring at the ceiling thinking about how I got myself into this mess up situation and how I was going to get myself out of it.

Do I really love Alex or was he just the guy to replace Andy because I was scared to love Andy? Or, maybe, I don’t really love Andy. Oh my gosh, I’m so lost, of course I love Andy. I never stop thinking about him since I left, he the most amazing guy and it what make him even more amazing is that he wanted to be in Riley and my life. But, I still like Alex at the same time. Wow it feels like I’m suck into some type of teen romance TV show.

I was suck out of my thoughts when my cell phone began to ring; I picked it up seeing that it was Alex calling me.

Talk about speak of the devil.

“Hello.”

“Hey, babe, how are you doing?” Alex answered happily.

“I’m doing pretty ok, just tried and a little stress out, but other than that I’m doing ok. How about you?”

“I would be better if you were her with me, but I guess I will have to settle to just hearing your voice.”

Cheesy much.

“Awe, you’re a sweet heart.”

Our conversation lasted for the past hour or two, until it was a knock on my door. While still in the phone I walk over to the door to see that Andy was standing behind my door as I look through the crack of the door. I quietly told Alex to hang on as I carefully place the phone to my chest to block out any sounds to the other end of the phone.

“Hey Elena, your mom told me to come check on you. So is everything ok?” Andy asks, while he stared at as if to see if he could read me.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I quickly told him, trying to close the door so that I could continue my talk with Alex.

As the door was close to closing a foot seems to stop it in its tracks just in time, my eyes lowered to the floor to see that the foot belongs to Andy. I sighed as I tried to close the door even harder only for Andy to do the opposite and push it open causing me to stumble backwards. Once inside Andy close the door and lean against the door looking at me with an intense look.

I sighed before placing my cell phone back to my ear, “Hey, Alex, I’m call you right back ok sweetie,” I told him and he agree which allowed me to hang up my cell phone, so that I could give my attention to Andy.

“Alex, huh?” Andy said giving me a dirty glare.

Ok. Why in the world is he glaring at me should I be the one glaring after all he is the one that came into my room like he own the place, but he gets to glare at me. It’s not like I come into his room like that, and why would he be mad anyway.

“Yeah, it was Alex, what I can’t talk to my boyfriend now a day?” I asked, as my eyebrows scrunch together.

“Well it sure didn’t seem like you cared about your boyfriends last night after our talk, so you’re telling me right now that nothing that happen last night meant nothing to you.”

“It did, but Andy you have to understand that I’m with Alex, and no matter how I feel about you I can’t just ignore Alex like you want me to.”

“And why not? I don’t even understand why your even with him, when you and I both know that you still having feeling for me just as much as I do for you. Elena, you can’t tell me that you don’t have feeling for me because if you didn’t you would have never kissed me the way you did last night.”

“Andy, has it ever occurred to you that not everything is about you, just because I moved back here and let you back into my life doesn’t mean that I still love you. Yeah, I may have a little feeling for you, but it’s not love. The only reason I let you into my life was because Riley needed to know who his father was and that’s it, so that doesn’t mean anything. You can’t just going around and tell people that they love you just from a kiss, because that’s what it was just a kiss. That doesn’t mean anything it was just us getting caught in the moment, and nothing more.” I told him getting angry that he was assuming that I love him even though I do, but I don’t want to admit it.

“What? Elena how could you say that? Why are you using our son as a way of hiding how you feel? Are you really in denial that much that you have to bring Riley into this; this is about me and you. And I know not everything’s about me because if it was do you really think I would have stayed with you this long, Elena I love you and Riley, so why can’t you just admit it to your own self that you love me to. And that kiss wasn’t just a kiss; it meant something to the both of us…..” Andy stated.

“No it didn’t, you can only speak for yourself Andy and as of right now, I don’t want to hear a word you have to say about this, I’m out of here,” I said quickly out of angry cutting him off as I grab my keys and cell phone off my night stand as I push pass Andy.

Before I could reach the door way Andy pulled me turning me back around to face him as he quickly place his lips on mine once again. And in that moment I knew that I did have feeling for Andy, but I didn't want to admit that to myself that maybe Andy was here for me and Riley, and that he wasn’t here just because I had his kid. But, no matter how much I wanted to accept it, I just couldn’t my heart was telling me one thing that was completely different than my mind and it was becoming too much. I quickly pulled away from Andy as I rushed out of the house to get to my car and sped off, driving in a random direction, not caring where I was going. I finally decided that I needed a drink, so I stop at the closest bar, I walk in taking a seat at the empty bar stool in front of the bar. I order a shot of Jack Daniels, and an hour later three shots turned into my being on the opposite end of sober. I place my money on the bar to pay for the drinks that I had just finished, I slowly got out of the bar stool knowing that if I got up to fast that I would only fall over. Once to my feet, it felt like the world was spinning, and with each step it felt like I was walking on a tight wire, kind of like those people at the circus. Finally after walking carefully I got into my car and drove off.

You know how everyone tells you to never drink and drive, it didn’t seem like it was hard, well they were just losers.

I picked up my cell phone calling Alex, as I drove down the street and slowed down as I saw a stop light, I pressed a little harder on the brakes causing me to stop at the light following Alex answering his phone. As I place the phone to my ear to talk to him, it soon fell out of my hand and onto the passenger floor. As I lean over to reach it, I quickly took my seat belt off so that I could lean over more, but as I lean over my foot that was on the brake move over the more that I lean over. I was an inch away from reaching the cell phone and I could hear Alex repeating my name to make sure it was me, but little did I know that I was also slowly moving into the intersection. Just as I had the phone in my hands, I heard a loud horn being blared, as I quickly got upright in my seat it was too late all I could see was a car heading straight for me. The impact was so massive that I didn’t even have time to registry what happen before all I saw was a broken window shed covered in my blood as I felt a warm liquid began to over pour on my face and following that was the pain, resulting in my passing out from the over flow of the hurt and the ache of my body.

I guess they weren’t losers, just people who cared about their lives. I should have really listen to all those commercials and people who would always say that drinking and driving don’t mix, but I guess I found that out the hard way.