Emotions Run Wild

Ugh, my stomach is killing me. I heave over the toilet again then slump against the side covering my face from Jaspers worried stare.

He’s been in here standing by the tub asking me every five minuets if I was okay. It would be truly sweet if I wasn’t puking my guts out and he wasn’t watching. I glare down at my hands and he steps forward moving the hair from in front of my eyes and tilting my head up by my chin.

“I want Carlisle to check you out, last time I checked cancer didn’t do this to someone.” He says and backs up as I turn quickly into the toilet again, when I’m finished I glare at him.

“Great because it can’t just be enough that I’m literally dying over here.” When I say that I feel his pain and I see it in his eyes, I sigh and hold out my arms he sits on the floor and pulls me into his lap.

“I’m sorry.” I say the noise being muffled by his shirt but I know he understood, he hugs me slightly tighter and rest his head on mine.

“I know, I know.” He says as he starts to rock back and forth witch helps a bit, I don’t feel so bad.

“You okay hon’?” Esme asks popping her head into the doorway, I give her a weak smile and she returns it leaving us alone again.

“I do want Carlisle to have a look at you.” He insists still holding my tight to his chest, I think the nausea has passed for now.

“Okay.” I nod my head and I just know he’s smiling, I roll my eyes and give a small laugh. To Carlisle’s I go.

*

It’s been about six hours and Carlisle is still in his study/medical area, he gave me a few tests then just disappeared in there with Jasper and Edward.

It’s been four days all together since I’ve been diagnosed witch means I have three days left. I’ve spent most of my time with Bella because I know I won’t be able to see her for two months, it would normally be a year but she’s being changed as well.

I’m not sure how I feel about that, I should be mad because she’s wasting her life but I should be happy because she is getting to spend the rest of forever with someone she loves.

It’s funny how much I feel now, since I’ve been around Jasper I feel pretty much just as much as everyone else. Witch also means that I feel guilty like when I had to lie to Charlie.

I told him that my mother wanted me back and I was leaving, he offered to protest custody so I could stay and I almost cried he was so nice to be all this time and I had to lie to him.

That is the one thing that broke my heart about this whole thing, I have no idea how Bella could leave Charlie like that. It was breaking my heart again just by thinking about what I’ve done.

I shake my head clearing it as Jasper walks in, Edward and Carlisle are following him and he sits on the bed next to me. He grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug I give them a questioning look.

“I’m so sorry.” Jasper says over and over again hugging my tighter to his chest then ever before. I pull away looking up at him and the others.

“What’s wrong? I mean I’m dying what could be so much worst you guys are freaking out about.” I ask and Jasper just buries his head in my shoulder while Carlisle clears his throat.

“Scarlett you make me hate my job,” He sighs completely serious, and sits in a chair next to the bed.

“Your pregnant, Jasper informed me that you two did not use protection when you um, the other night.” He hangs his head in defeat and I’m still confused.

“She doesn’t understand.” Edward nudges Carlisle and he looks up, if he could cry I’m sure he would be doing so now.

“Weather your turned or not your going to lose this baby.” Carlisle shakes his head and my eyes go wide. I pull away and look at Jasper who is still apologizing to me.

I look around at everyone and tears fill my eyes, I’m pregnant with a child I would have loved. But it’s just as doomed to death as I am.

I let the tears flow freely as I let Jasper’s arms engulf me, I can’t believe this is happening to me.

What did I do?!