Living Life in a Downward Spiral

I slowly opened my eyes, looking around. The last thing I remembered was going up the stairs.

"Hey." I turned my head to see Deen laying next to me.

"What happened?" I asked, confused.

"I was hoping you'd be able to tell us that." He said, stroking my hair. I sat up, and suddenly grabbed my head as it spun. "Maybe you should lay back down."

"No, I'm fine." I said, throwing the blankets off of me.

"Where are you going?" He asked, getting up also.

"Getting me laundry before Dad yells at me."

"Stef, you just fell down the stairs. I think you should sit down for a little bit."

I just ignored him as I grabbed my laundry basket, and took it down the stairs. "Whoa there." Aunt Leana said as she bumped into me at the bottom of the stairs. "What are you doing up, Girlie? Get your butt back in bed." She said, trying to take the basket from me, but I wouldn't let her.

"I'm fine." I said, walking around her.

"Stef, when'd you wake up?" Uncle Brian asked as he saw me.

"A few minutes ago." I said, continuing on to the laundry room.

"Sweetie, why don't you sit down?" Mom said.

"Don't try, she won't listen." Deen sighed, plopping down onto the couch.

I rolled my eyes as I walked to the laundry room. I saw Dad sorting through the clothes as I set my basket down.

When he looked up, he was surprised to see me. I just gave a soft smile as I started to sort my clothes out. "Don't worry about it, I got it." He said, taking the basket from me.

"You sure?"

He nodded. "Yeah, just rest. How're you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Fine. My head just hurts a little."

"That's probably from the little fall. Do you know what happened?"

"I think I just fainted."

He looked at me for a few seconds, before going back to what he was doing. "Alright, just take it easy, ok?"

"Ok."

What got into him?

"Stef, you wanna split a sandwich with me?" Uncle Matt asked as he made one in the kitchen. I was about to say no, when he cut me off. "You didn't eat lunch. So, it's either this or something else. You need to eat something." I sighed, before nodding my head.

"Uncle Matt, can I talk to you?" I asked softly as I leaned against the counter.

"Of course, Babe. You know you can always talk to me."

I smiled, before looking down. "I've been thinking for a little bit... I haven't brought it up to Mom because I know she'll freak out on me."

He knew it was serious, so he stopped what he was doing and just looked at me. "What is it?"

"I've been thinking about joining the Marines..." I mumbled, not knowing how he would take it.

After a few minutes of silence, he sighed, before pulling me into a hug. "I think that it's your choice on what you want to do. I'm not going to lie, I don't want my niece going out into something like that. But, if it's really what you want to do, then that's fine."

"What do you think Mom and Dad will say?"

He laughed. "Well, I think you should get all the information that you need before you sit down to tell them. If you're really serious about this, I'll take you to a representative to talk to them. Then, if you still want to do it, sit down with Gena and Zacky and tell them."

I smiled. "Thanks, Uncle Matt."

"Hey, what else am I here for?"

"To scare off boys and not let me date until I'm married."

He smirked. "Of course there's that too."

I rolled my eyes. All the guys had that joke for us girls. Of course we didn't listen. But I wish I would have...

I was pulled out of my thoughts, when Uncle Matt handed me the sandwich. He sat on the counter, watching me as he ate. I knew I wasn't getting out of this one. He watched me eat the whole damn thing until it was gone. Talk about weird...

"Hey, Stef!" Greg called to me.

"What?" I called back.

"Can you come here real quick?" I walked to the living room, wondering what he could possibly want. "Can you draw me something?" He asked as I stood in front of him.

"Sure." I said, giving him a confused look.

"It's for a tat I'm gonna get." He said as I sat next to him on the couch with my drawing pad and pencil.

I laughed. "What tat?"

"The one that I'm getting when we get back home." He said, sticking his tongue out at me. I looked at him in shock. "Hey, not all of us are under as strict of rules as you." He mumbled, but I still heard it, and so did Uncle Brian.

"Watch it, or you won't be getting one." Uncle Bri said, slapping him upside the head.

"What do you want me to draw?" I sighed, still looking down.

As he started to explain it, I let my hand start sketching it out. It only took me a few minutes before I was done. "Thanks, Stef."

"Yep." I said, before getting up and walking away.

"Stef, can I talk to you really quick, Sweetie?" Mom asked, nodding her head towards the stairs. I nodded and followed her up to her and Dad's room.

"What's up?" I asked as I sat with her on the bed.

"Is everything ok? I'm a little worried about you." She said, stroking my hair.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, you just seem like you're still pulling away from all of us."

I sighed, looking at my hands. "I'm sorry. It's still hard."

"Baby, it's almost been five months since the accident. I thought things were getting better."

I shrugged. "I did too." I whispered.

"You know... There still is the option of counseling."

I jumped up. "No. You know how I feel about that. I'm not going to be looked at as some quack!"

"Stef, if it's going to help you, then what does it matter?" She was pleading me with her eyes.

"I can't, Mom! No one understands this. No therapist, shrink, whatever the hell you want to call them, can help this! I have to get over it on my own."

"But you clearly aren't."

"Then I guess I never will."