Don't Be So Hard on Yourself

Draco, Blaise, Trevor Nott and I walked to our Potions class in the dungeons, Slughorn greeted Blaise with enthusiasm. Along with Potter who walked in behind us. The four of us Slytherins sat at the same table, I sat next to Draco and I noticed a table with three cauldrons that had some sort of potion in them. I noticed one had a very intoxicating scent of butterbeer, peppermint gum and some sort of cologne and I felt myself turn over to Draco. Draco was talking to Nott and I found myself finding the same scent on Draco.

What is that potion? As I pondered and looked through my book I heard Slughorn call on Granger. I looked to see Hermione looking at the cauldrons. She began Veritaserum, the truth potion and then Polyjuice Potion. I gave a disgusted face looking at the mud-like potion. The last cauldron, the one that gave of the seducing smell, Hermione said is Amortentia. The most powerful love potion. I looked to Draco, rolled my eyes and watched him smirk.

“She’s such a know-it-all,” he muttered in my ear and I nodded. Then Slughorn spoke, “Granger? Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers?”

“No I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” I watched Draco lean over to Nott and whisper something, they both laughed and I raised an eyebrow.

“Oho! ‘One of my best friends is Muggle-born and she’s the best is our year!’ I’m assuming this is the very friend whom you spoke, Harry?” I felt my jaw drop, how the hell did Harry know Slughorn already? I looked over to Draco who looked like Hermione just punched him in the face again.

“She’s just a stupid girl, Draco, straighten up,” I whispered to him before taking his hand and squeezing it. We didn’t pay much attention until some Hufflepuff decided to ask what another potion was. I looked at the molten gold potion that splashed around merrily.

“Oho,” Slughorn seemed excited as he looked at the potion. “Yes. That. Well, that one, ladies and gentlemen, is a most curious little potion called Felix Felicis. I take it,” I watched him look at Hermione and I felt my jaw clench. “Do you know what Felix Felicis does, Miss Granger?”

“Its liquid luck, Professor,” I spoke up earning a look from Hermione and Slughorn turned around to look at me with a surprise look on his face. “It makes you lucky.”

“Very good, Miss-,” Slughorn drifted off since he didn’t know my name, I smiled smugly before telling him my name.

“Blake, sir,” I felt Draco squeeze my hand and I looked at him, he held a small smile on his face.

“Well I must say that Slytherin deserves twenty points as well,” Slughorn smiled before moving away from the cauldrons. Slughorn answered students’ questions about the potion and I didn’t pay any attention until he told us to begin making a potion, Draught of Living Death, for the price of a small bottle of Felix Felicis. Instantly everyone went to work but in the end, Potter ended up the winner of the tiny bottle.

“That stupid git, he gets everything because he’s the Chosen One, I’d love to see the Dark Lord kill him now.” Draco muttered to himself as we walked to the Great Hall for dinner. We were alone this time so we were able to talk openly. I just looked at him and he sighed.

“What is your task?” I whispered, looking at him with worry in my eyes. Draco shook his head before telling me he couldn’t tell me. “Why not?” I asked him now getting angry that he won’t tell me. It’s not like I’m stupid. I know he has to do something; all the Death Eaters have a task to prove their loyalty.

“You’re not a Death Eater,” he told me harshly and I looked away from him, letting go of his hand and he stopped walking and turned me so I was looking at him. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way, I’m glad you aren’t. It keeps this,” he pointed to my heart, “safe.” I looked up to him and bit my lip. “Have you even met him?” He asked me, his eyes searched mine and I shook my head.

“No, Mom and Dad said that come Christmas holiday, he wants to see me then.” Draco shook his head, dropping his hands from my shoulders; he looked down at the ground.

“No,” he whispered and I watched his hands turn into fists and his jaw clenched. “No, he can’t meet you. He can’t. He shouldn’t. No. No. No!” The last no he yelled which caused a few third years, which were passing, to look at him. “What do you want? Keep walking!” He yelled at them and quickly they began walking faster. I grabbed Draco’s hand and squeezed it as if to tell him to calm down. He looked at me and I saw anger and hurt in his gray eyes.

“Draco, I’m not afraid of him. I’m not afraid for him to give me a task. Whatever it is, it’s for the best to prove I’m worthy for him and my parents.” I half-lied, I was scared to meet the Dark Lord. I was afraid of what he’ll have me do.

“But I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered and I could see his eyes glossing over. I bit my lip before wrapping my arms around his torso and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He rested his head against mine and I could feel him shaking.

“You won’t lose me Draco, I won’t allow it. This is why you shouldn’t mess up, I don’t want to lose you either.” Draco just held me closer to him and I rubbed his back.

“Miss Blake, don’t you have dinner to attend? I need to speak to Mr. Malfoy, alone,” Draco and I let go of each other to see Snape staring at us. I nodded before looking to Draco and leaving for the Great Hall. I walked through the large doors and towards the Slytherin table. I sat next to Kelsi and across from Blaise.

“Where’s Draco?” Kelsi asked as she ate some of her pork. I smiled half-heartedly before telling her Snape wanted to speak with him. She just nodded. “So Runes was horrible. I don’t know why I bothered to do well in that class.”

“Because you have some odd like for old things,” I joked which caused her and Blaise to laugh.

“So, I overheard Pansy earlier. Acey, I’d watch your back,” Blaise warned and I rolled my eyes.

“She is a weak girl, like she could even hurt me.” Blaise shrugged and I began grabbing some food from the middle and I put it on my plate. Dinner was almost over when Draco returned. His face held anger and I decided not to ask him about Snape.

“Hello Draco,” Pansy smiled from standing behind Blaise, I looked at her with a raised eyebrow before looking at Blaise with an amused smirk set on my lips.

“Parkinson,” Draco muttered before resting his chin on my shoulder. I grabbed one of his hands and held it tightly as Pansy smiled deviously.

“That was a nice talk we had earlier, we should talk more, maybe by the lake tomorrow during a free period?” I squeezed my hand that was holding Draco’s and he picked his head up looking at me with wide eyes.

“No thanks, Pansy; I’d rather spend time with my girlfriend.” He looked at Pansy with a face and spoke with a matching tone. I smirked before looking over to kiss Draco’s cheek. Pansy huffed loudly before leaving the area and Draco looked at me with a smirk on his face.

“You’re just a little defensive, Blake,” I rolled my eyes letting go of Draco’s hand but merely a second later his hand grabbed mine again. I looked at him but I didn’t say anything. After dinner we went back to the common room to finish all the homework I had left. I help Draco with his Charms homework and he helped me with the Defense homework.

I sat between Draco’s legs, leaning against this chest as I practice a charm I read about. I liked the feeling I got from being this close to Draco. I can’t explain it but it was wonderful.

--

At midnight, I left my room and walked to the Room of Requirements and I thought about Draco. Suddenly a door appeared and I walked inside, careful not to be seen by anyone. I looked around for Draco, wondering where he was and I heard him cursing from behind a large cabinet.

“Is this what you have to do?” I asked in a low tone, Draco jumped a little but looked less startled when he noticed who I was. He nodded before holding out his hand. I grabbed it and he brought me closer to him.

“It’s a Vanishing Cabinet; it has a sister in Borgin and Burkes. I’m repairing this one to let the Death Eaters through, for when, well for my task.” I nodded not pressing any further; I don’t want him getting mad or upset again. “It’s just not working.” He whispered sounding very disappointed and I looked up at him with a frown on my face.

“It will eventually, just keep working on it Draco,” I encouraged him and he looked at me. A small smile formed on his lips and he faced me. Draco pulled me closer to him, leaning his forehead down so it was resting against mine. I looked into his eyes and I could see so much emotion behind them. I could see hurt, anger, disappointment, love and the most prominent of all, fear. The fear in his eyes made me frown and I placed a hand on each side of his face. “Don’t be scared,” I whispered and watched him lean into my left hand.

“It’s hard not to,” he whispered before clenching his jaw, I watched his eyes begin to water. “Knowing that if I fail, I lose everything… I lose my parents, my life and most importantly, you.” I felt my heart jump a little as I stare at him with admiration.

“Draco,” I started but I couldn’t finish. I just pressed on my toes and kissed his lips softly. Draco placed one hand on my hip and the other on my lower back to pull me closer. I moved my hands to his neck and when his tongue grazed my bottom lip I parted them slightly. We kissed until my chest hurt from the lack of oxygen in my lungs and I pulled away, gasping for air.

“Will you—well could you, no,” Draco grunted before letting me go and I looked at him confused. My lips tingled with the memory of his lips and I wanted to touch him. When I barely touched him when he turned around, he stared at me with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. “Be my girlfriend, for real, we don’t have to tell our parents or…anyone but I just want to do this,” he grabbed my hands and pulled me closer. He kissed my lips softly, “and that when ever I wanted.”

“I’d love to Draco,” I reached up to kiss him again and this time he was quicker to respond.